Helen's Kinky thing © Alex Carr 2010
"I caught Helen sniffing your underwear." I was flabbergasted, Helen of all people?
"Perhaps she was just seeing if it was dirty washing." I said in trying to find a feasible explanation, I mean, well women don't do that do they, dirty old men yes - and younger - but women? And women like Helen!?"
I don't think so," my flat mate John advised, "the way she rubbed your boxer shorts into her face, the way she looked, not realising I was watching, standing in the doorway waiting for the postman to come, and that dull moan. She fancies you7 and that's a cert." John added.
The thought of Helen doing that was almost unbelievable. She always seemed so prim and proper. A small woman, but not an unattractive figure for her age which I reckoned to be in her very early forties. With me just 38 I felt comfortable with that. I was free of any relationship and wanted to out that to rights, but it had to be with the right woman, and Helen maybe would be her. I decided to give it a test, see how she reacted for myself.
I wore a pair of black boxers on and off for the next two days, to get them well scented, then placed them in the laundry basket in the hall. I made sure they were easily seen and near the top and, knowing the time roughly she got up and made for the shared bathroom nearby, that would be the most likely time to see what she was getting up too.
I felt like a spy watching from the slightly opened door into the hallway which accessed three flats, ours, Helens and a coloured guy who lived next door..
I just had to see for myself if it was true, that John wasn't just having me on - he is known for his practical tricks - and this was a herd story indeed to believe.
"It is about 7.30 I say her go to the bathroom and open the laundry basket outside, the laundry people always collect about 8am, Pete."
"Okay I'll be ready, this I must see, if it's true that is!"
"It's true alright, she has a thing for you, that has never happened to me - well not as far as I know anyway."
"Perhaps it is just the way I smell, sweetness and perfection," I laughed. I told John how I'd worm my boxers for two days, that they would be walking away on their own if I'd left them much longer!" He laughed and said he could believe that! Cheeky bugger.
But do you know what? There was something really erotic about the idea of Helen of all people messing with my underwear and - waiting there, with my door slightly ajar, peering through the opening as my watch registered 7.30 I could not help but feel an arousal. And my thoughts of Helen were active again.
Until now, I'd never thought of her as a prospective fuck, I guess I'd hardly noticed her really, we hardly bumped into each other, her leaving and arriving at different times to me. And yet she must know me to do what she was doing, surely?
All the questions going on in my mind and then the lowering thought that perhaps this woman simply had a bazaar fantasy derived from sniffing men's under things. I just could not believe even then that she would want to sniff mine, knowing they belonged to me.
But sure enough, I heard her open her door and close it again as she made for the exit door.
Bloody John has been taking the piss, I knew it I said to myself as Helen passed by the laundry basket not even noticing.
But then, almost as if she had second thoughts, she stopped, looked around quickly and went for the basket, opening the lid and scurried inside. I actually saw her sniffing my two days worn boxers, and enjoying! Just like John said, her eyes half closed, rubbing them briskly into her face.
I just could not let this pass, while she was in her trance I slipped behind her and slapped that well proportioned rear which fitted so snugly in her tight black skirt. She twisted around in a frenzied panic and slapped my face hard!
"What the hell are you doing, Mr!" She yelled, her face flushed, and looking very embarrassed, dropping my underwear on the floor, attempting to pick it up and hide beneath her jumper.
But, bending down, I was there first, grabbed them, asking are these what you are looking for?"
She looked sideways at me, sort of hesitated nervously saying that she had lost a pair of hers, and was just checking to see if they were in the dirty laundry basket.
I could see her dilemma, she was in a bit of an awkward situation and I didn't want to push it, all I said is that they were mine, couldn't she tell?
She looked at me saying she had no idea.
"But you liked the scent Huh?" I said in a matter of fact way. "You can take them if you want, maybe put under your pillow later." I had a girl friend who did that.
She then said she must rush she'd be late for work, but that I was sweet and thanks for the offer, then scurrying off she left me holding my undies like a lemon for all to see as she opened the front door and scampered out .
But then it occurred to me I had to get to work too, placed the embarrassing underwear back into the basket and returned to my room for breakfast.
Later John, who always left for work earlier than me, asked if I had caught her at it.
"Yep! Well and truly." I said coolly. "And?" "And what?" "Tell me what happened then?" I told him and he was laughing, saying what a terribly awkward position for her to have found herself in. I continued that I wouldn't mind having her in any position! "So you have been aroused by the girl sniffer?" he mused. "Well she's not to be sniffed at, " I returned trying to be clever, "and it's not every day I find someone so delectable sniffing my boxers! "Delectable you say?" John returned - you fancied her then, well they do say we are attracted by chemical make up." "One problem, John" "What's that?" " Is she attracted to me?" "Well she seems scent on your boxers," he roared - "get it, scent as in odour?" "Don't give up your day job - and anyway I believe as far as she was concerned they could have been anybody's - maybe she is just kinky about guys underwear, I can name a few guys who do it with girl's - their underwear I mean." "Oh yes?" enquired John inquisitively. "You know, you've heard of sad guys who steal women's underwear from clothes lines." "But that's not quite the same is it, Pete - it's been laundered, yours, they were still garnished with your whatever what." "Doesn't make any difference to the sad guys, just the thought they have been worn by a member of the opposite sex does the trick." "You seem to know all about it, Pete. You done it then?"
Okay well I had, but when I was a teenager, but I wasn't about to let on to John. I fancied the pants off this woman who lived next door. So I literally stole a pair or two from her line. They certainly gave me a few thrills of a lifetime when I was discovering my sexuality big time.