Heavenly Desire

The first time she walked into my office I was demonstrably startled, she wore a light summer dress with shoe-string straps leaving her striking shoulders exposed. She was not a beautiful woman, and had a tendency towards plumpness, but there was something about her that I found instantly attractive. Perhaps it was her youthfulness that made her so irresistible to me, whatever it was, I was temporarily knocked off guard.

I was expecting her of course, but students came in and out of my office all the time. Many of my students are beautiful, but I’ve been a professor for a long time, and so beauty has lost a great deal of its power over me. Besides most of the girls are too young and silly to interest me.

I knew I was in trouble that very first meeting, I knew I should never agree to supervise her research, but I could not resist her. I told myself nothing would ever happen, she was young, probably in her early twenties, she would have no interest in a man more than twice her age. Besides, I would never compromise my job and my family for a brief taste of pleasure.

I found myself fiddling for a great deal of the interview; at one point I realized I was twirling my hair around my finger. As a psychology professor, you would think I would have more control of my body language, but I always struggled around Leigh. Unconsciously playing with my wedding ring and stroking my face were my displacement behaviours, and they were the only thing preventing me from fondling the girl herself.

I saw her once a week for many months and derived great pleasure from the accidental touches that came my way, I would take her pen and my fingers would graze hers, her legs might brush up against mine as we sat close looking at a paper together. Curiously, she would never pull away when this happened and I would enjoy the warmth of her legs for a few wonderful seconds before I felt the contact inappropriate and I would reluctantly move my leg away.

I mentioned that she was not beautiful, she was no doubt attractive to men, however her hips and thighs were a little too large to make her the object of a great deal of male attention. Her face was not by any means beautiful but when she laughed her whole demeanor changed and for few seconds as her eyes flashed she became beautiful. Her face still had a youthful fullness about it, her hair was short and brown and invariably pulled back, accentuating her somewhat too large forehead. There was an uncertainty about her, some days she appeared confident and seemed to exude sexuality, other days she was unsure of herself and tended to avoid eye contact. It was on the latter days that I felt a strong urge to dominate her, to make her look at me, to invade her personal space and increase her discomfort. On these occasions I fantasized about pushing her up against my door as she rose to leave, or tearing open her blouse to roughly suck her exposed breast.

Occasionally when I saw her outside my office my heart would pound and the familiar “love” feelings would return, I felt like a fool, a man of 50 carrying on like a lovesick teenager. I knew it was not love, love was what I shared with my wife, what I felt for Leigh was unbridled lust. I knew I had to have her. I needed to have her touch me.

I searched for hints that she felt the same way about me. In the early days her hands had often trembled when I was close to her, her voice often sounded unstable. But, perhaps that was just because she was a little afraid of me.

When she was deep in thought her fingers played absentmindedly with her bottom lip, surely this was a sexual gesture? Whenever the opportunity arose to look at a paper together she eagerly moved her chair closer to me.

One thing that never seemed to change was the unwavering way we made eye contact, she often stared at me while she thought through some problem or other. Sometimes I could feel those uncompromising eyes of hers on my face when I was trying to concentrate on a paper, she seemed to be searching for something.

Things slowly accelerated, I would allow myself to rest my leg against hers for just a little bit longer, and somehow she always maneuvered us so that our legs could touch. She would squeeze past me so that her body would brush up against mine. Eventually it became clear that her desire was as palpable as mine, yet I could see that she lacked the confidence to make her feeling overtly known. I knew I had to make the next move.

My chance came one day when I needed to show her a procedure on the computer. It was late afternoon, most of my colleagues had gone home because it was close to semester end, and she was alone with me in my office. Her hand was on the mouse as she followed my verbal instructions, at one point she became lost, so I placed my hand on top of hers and indicated where she needed the mouse to go, she stiffened momentarily with this unexpected touch before I felt her body relax. I could hear her breathing quicken and even convinced myself that I could hear her heart pounding. I took my hand off hers and placed it gently on her knee. I let my hand rest quietly on her lovely rounded thigh for several minutes while I continued my instructions on what she needed to do. Slowly I began to move my hand under her knee length skirt, I enjoyed the warmth of her thigh, and the contrast of my olive hand on her creamy skin, I heard her gasp as my hand continued upwards. All the while I continued my directions about the program we were looking at. As my hand felt the soft cotton fabric of her panties, she moaned loudly and opened her legs further, giving me greater access. I noticed she had stopped following my directions, I remonstrated her sternly urging her to pay attention to the monitor, before continuing my exploration beyond her panties.

My fingers tentatively nudged her panties aside and I felt the wetness of her vaginal lips, she moaned very loudly. I firmly placed my other hand over her mouth to muffle her cries, while my fingers caressed her clitoris, as the movement of my fingers intensified, I felt her body begin to stiffen, at which point I allowed myself the pleasure of digitally penetrating this beautiful girl.

For so long I had thought of the many ways that I could bring myself pleasure by fucking her, but for now my greatest pleasure was coming from satisfying her. I thought my head would explode with desire for her, as her body gave a final shiver and she emitted a low guttural moan of pleasure.

When she had regained her composure, I continued with my instructions on the computer as though nothing odd had occurred. I wanted to fuck her there and then, but I knew dangers of discovery were too high. Instead, I needed to get her somewhere safe, where I could have unhindered access to her.