Hearts & Flowers and All That Sappy Shit!
It's here, another Valentines Day and another day to remind us single people how undesirable we are. Do I sound a little ticked off with Valentines Day, hell yeah. I am so sick of seeing red hearts all over everything. Red roses, fancy lingerie, sappy "I love you cards and many reminders of romance. Let's just say YUCK.
So what about those of us who are alone? Do we need all of these reminders that we have no partner? No, we feel bad enough already. It's so depressing for me and was once fun is now just a day to get drunk and forget about it.
I must have been thinking this aloud one day while waiting for the bus to take me to work. I was staring at a store display full of all of this Valentines Day stuff, a fat little cupid looking stupid in his diaper pointing his arrow out at the crowd. I am sure I was frowning too and thinking all of these really horrible things I wanted to do to cupid. 'Does he really need those wings? I would love to rip the things off the little bastard.' I thought, then I heard a snort of laughter behind me. Turning I saw a younger man about twenty or so.
He was dressed in jeans and an army style jacket. His hair looked like it needed cut and he had a little scruff of a beard on his chin. All of these things together gave him a casual but handsome appearance, perfect for his age. When I turned to look at him he leaned close and said, "We think the same, I think it's dumb too." It was then I realized I had spoken aloud. I was embarrassed; I was old enough to know better than to do that.
"Ummm, Yeah." I grumbled my face as red as those damn Valentines hearts.
The bus came and I hurried onboard and sat down. I was looking out the window kicking my ass for being so stupid earlier. I felt someone sit in the seat beside me. I turned to see the young man who had laughed earlier. "My name is Jordan. Nobody else heard what you said." He said with a smile on his face.
"Hello Jordan. Thanks I feel pretty stupid right now. I have a few bad memories of Valentines, made me bitter I suppose." I said to him trying to explain what I had mistakenly said aloud.
"No problem. Just wanted to tell you nobody else heard you. Here's my stop, bye." He rose and walked to the door. I watched his ass as he walked away 'hmm not bad, too young though.' I thought. He turned before he got off the bus and waved. I waved back hoping he did not feel my eyes on his backside as he walked away.
All day long the same old dull job kept me occupied. "I'm in a rut.' I thought. I need something new to excite me.' The day finally ended and I trudged out to the bus stop, the bus was a bit early so I ran to the stop only to slip on the ice twisting my ankle and falling right on my ass. As I got to my feet the bus pulled away. "Shit!" I was almost ready to cry, my ankle was throbbing and starting to swell. I hobbled over to the bus stop bench and sat on it. It was cold but I could not stand and wait thirty minutes for the next one.
The tears started to fall; this was one of the worst days of my life. I mean I was really gonna start bawling, and I very seldom cry. I was slumped over, my shoulders shaking with my sobs. I felt a hand upon my shoulder and a hand came into my blurred vision with a Kleenex in it. Great now someone feels sorry for me! I took it and wiped my eyes then I looked up to see Jordan there.
"I'm sorry I forgot your name, but it looks like you need this. I saw you slip, is your ankle ok?"
"I never gave my name Jordan, and no I think I sprained it. I'll be ok, the next bus comes in thirty minutes."
"Ummm, that was the last bus. Can I buy you a cup of coffee and then get you a cab? I can't let you sit alone here in the dark." I know he was basically a stranger to me, but instinct told me he would not hurt me, so I took a chance and went with him.
"Ok, thanks Jordan." I said and I stood on my one good foot and tested my weight on the injured one. Pain raced up my leg; it must have showed on my face because Jordan took my arm and placed it around his neck.
"Let's go my new friend. I still don't know your name." He said with a chuckle.
We hobbled across the street to the diner, an old style Mom n Pop place with red vinyl booths and those red round stools at the counter. The place was right out of the fifties; worn looking, but clean and warm. We hobbled over to a booth and I sat down with relief. Jordan picked my injured leg up and sat it up on the other seat, his hand lingering a little on my leg, then sat beside my foot.
"Just what is your name anyway? Or do I have to give you one?"
I could not help myself, I laughed, something I had not done in a long time. "Hope."
"Hope what?" he asked me.
I laughed again "my name is Hope, isn't that ironic? I don't have any hope left anymore." My bitterness was surfacing once more. I had been hurt very badly about a year ago, in fact last Valentines Day. I had been dating a man for three years; we were just talking about moving in together things had gotten that serious between us. It had been going so well, till Valentines Day. I saw him buying a big vase of red roses and a smaller bunch of three roses. I had thought he had bought his secretary the three roses, and I was so happy all day. That night we were going out for a late dinner and when he arrived, he gave me the three roses. I was crushed, but I didn't say anything. I was quiet all evening.
We went back home and had one drink, and then he told me he had to go, an early meeting he said. He left and I could not sleep so I went down to the corner coffee shop. I sat inside with my coffee and thoughts when I saw him walk by with the vase of roses. I was in shock, I was also angry with him, so I followed him, he went right to my best friends home and rang the bell. She answered in a slinky dress and he gave her the roses. She kissed him on the mouth; a deep kiss letting me know it was not a friendship kiss but a sexual one.
I called his cell phone and saw him answer. "You asshole! Look across the street." I yelled into the phone. When he turned and saw me; both of them turned white. I turned and went home, never to speak with either of them again. I was still hurting a full year later. The memories still fresh in my mind.
"Hope, are you ok?" The question pulling me out of my dark thoughts.
"Huh? O yeah, sorry was daydreaming I guess."
"What can I get you two?" the waitress asked, she looked like she had been here since the fifties too.
"Coffee, black for me." I said
"Make it two." Jordan said.
"Gotcha. Be back in jiff." The waitress said. 'She really is a hoot.' I thought.
"So Hope, you work around here? I just moved in and do not know many people yet."