Harriet stood at the kitchen sink staring out of the window, drying cloth in one hand and plate in the other for the moment forgotten, her dark eyes focused on the scene by the swimming pool at the bottom of the garden. There two young men were lounging by it, one her son Glen, the other Alex, his friend.
Harriet had been used to having Glen's high school friends around the place, but since Glen had left high school and started to attend university they all seemed to have gone their separate ways. Alex was the new friend and a very good looking and personable one.
Harriet sighed, "If only I could be nineteen again," and finished washing up the lunch plates, but with occasional glances out of the window.
She felt that she had never really been nineteen. Chronologically of course she had once been nineteen, but at that age she was married and had a six months old baby, Glen, and looking at Glen and Alex she felt that she had missed something in her life.
When the boys had come in for lunch they were still only wearing their swimming briefs, and they were very brief indeed. Looking at their lithe young bodies that seemed to radiate good health and potency, their substantial genitals blatantly moulded against the cloth of their briefs, a desire for sensual pleasure was stirred in Harriet. She felt attracted to Alex and he seemed to pay her particular attention, and Harriet was not blind to the erection that his briefs had no hope of hiding...
She was still wearing the bikini that she had worn when she had briefly joined the boys at the pool that morning, but now it was hidden beneath the simple cotton housecoat she had put on as she left the pool. Had she not been wearing the coat at lunch Alex, if he was aware of the subtle signs of female arousal, might have detected her sexual excitement. It was because of this arousal that Harriet had stayed only briefly at the pool, but that was the effect Alex's presence always had on her, and she felt it as torment.
* * * * * * * *
Harriet was approaching the dreaded forties, and like many women at that time of life she was suffering from marital ennui, the result of her husband Harold being unable or unwilling to meet her emotional needs. Hence she felt herself to be unattractive, undesirable and therefore suffered from a very poor self image.
An outside observer might have wondered what Harriet had to complain about. She had a husband who was, as people say, "A good and generous provider." She lived in a fine house in a leafy suburb. She had a son of whom she was justifiably proud, both for his looks and intelligence, and she had at her disposal one of the more up market brands of car.
Living in a respectable neighbourhood she was highly regarded as one if the pillars of the local church; president of the women's group; Sunday school teacher and given to charitable works and working for a few hours a week as a dental nurse, our hypothetical observer might well have wondered what she had to be discontented about; the answer being, of course, sexual deprivation.
So often what starts out to be a passionate relationship can turn sour, with one partner losing sexual interest. This is the lot of many women and it can lead to serious tensions within a relationship: with the woman taking a lover; sexual promiscuity; divorce, or masturbation as a source of relief.
In Harriet's case Harold's failure to perform as a lover was particularly difficult since she was a very passionate woman, but unwilling to endanger or break up her marriage she had opted for what she considered the safe option of masturbation, but for her this was a mere surrogate for the reality she so dearly desired.
She was not a vain woman but sometimes she stood naked before the long mirror in her bedroom, wondering what was wrong with her that Harold should reject her sexually, especially after his enthusiastic beginning on the sofa in her parent's living room twenty years ago. This, or subsequent sexual encounters had led to her pregnancy, marriage and the birth of Glen.
Again what an outside observer might have seen, and Harriet's self perception, would have been at variance.
It was true her figure was not quite as slim as it had been when she was eighteen, and her stomach protruded very slightly as the result of pregnancy, but in some strange way our imagined outside observer might have found this attractive. It seemed to add to her femaleness and led the eye to her pudendal cleft and the promise of softness and welcoming warmth beyond those lips that are the gateway to paradise.
Her ample breasts that had once delighted Harold still retained some of their original suppleness, and also promised a warm and comfortable pillow for a lover to lay his head between.
Her face tended to be angular with a pointed chin and her nose straight and a little longer that was fashionable. Her abundant dark hair was cut to just below where her head joined her neck, and her mouth was wide with firmly defined lips, but it was her dark long lidded eyes with the look of fire in their depths that would have held the observer's attention
Our observer might well have felt that Harriet's face had a suggestion of carnal cruelty about it, a raptorial appearance, but would have been forced to the conclusion he was seeing a woman of considerable sensual attractions. Had he known her when she was eighteen he might have concluded that Harriet was one of those fortunate women for whom maturity had enhanced her looks.
Sadly -- one might almost say tragically -- this was not Harriet's self assessment. Like so many women in her situation she had allowed her husband's lack of desire for her to poison her self image.
* * * * * * * *
There was an uncomfortable wetness between her upper thighs and a ticking sensation in her clitoris, and her nipples had become extended and firm since being at the pool, and so Harriet made her way to her bedroom where she stripped, and retrieving her dildo from her underwear draw she lay on the bed.
She began by gently stroking a breast and parting her legs she ran the dildo over the outer lips of her genitals gradually pushing it in. Knowing that she would probably come very quickly she tried to delay the moment of ecstasy slowly pushing the dildo into her vaginal tunnel, and then moving it unhurriedly back and forth as she made soft whimpering sounds.
Her attempt to delay her orgasm was of little avail and it began to take her in its relentless grip. She began to squeeze one of her nipples and the dildo moved with increasing speed. As the first wave or orgasmic pain and pleasure swept over her she transferred the dildo to her clitoris, circling it with the head of the dildo, and her cries grew louder and more anguished and her body seemed to convulse.
"Oh no...oh no...nah....nah...ow...no...oh God...fuck me Alex...fuck me...I need ohwaaa...mmm...mmmmaaah..."
As she passed over the pinnacle of her climax her cries began to diminish and her movements slowed until she lay limply on the bed. She drifted off into a shallow sleep to be aroused by the sound of laughter, a car engine being started and driving away. Alex had left.
Lethargically she rose from the bed and putting on her housecoat she made her way to the shower. There she washed the dildo and then showered in order to remove any of the residual smell resulting from her activities.
Feeling more energetic she made her way to the bedroom, put away the dildo and dressed in green slacks, shirt and sandals she made her way to the kitchen.
* * * * * * * *
It was no surprise to find Glen sitting at the table eating a ham sandwich; he was always hungry.
He looked up and grinned as she came in.
"What are you grinning at?" Harriet asked.
Glen did not answer her question, but looked as if he was bursting to tell her something.
It is necessary to point out that the relationship between Harriet and her son was a very open one and they both felt free to say things as they were and as they felt them.
Glen ceased assaulting the sandwich for a moment and said excitedly, "Mum, have you got any idea what you're doing to poor old Alex?"
"As far as I know I'm not doing anything to poor old Alex," Harriet replied, "but I think you're going to tell me."
"Mum, he fancies you."
Harriet took few moments to digest this, not because she was unaware of Alex's attraction to her, but because she had a suspicion that this was Glen's back-to-front way of letting her know he had detected her feelings for Alex.
Don't be so...so silly," she said.
"But its true mum," Glen said animatedly, "he's really gone on you."
"You're making it up Glen, your imagination has run wild, " Harriet said sternly, hoping to stop his talk in its tracks. "I'm twice his age and married so he isn't likely to be interested in me."
Glen however was not about to give up. "He thinks you're fantastic mum and..."
"And I suppose he's told you that," Harriet said dryly, beginning to suspect that Glen was trying to be amusing.
"Well, no...no he hasn't exactly told me, but I can tell."
"And how can you tell, have you been reading palms or doing something with tarot cards?"
Glen, stung by her tone of voice said, "I can tell by the way he talks; he can't stop talking about you. It doesn't matter where a conversation starts he always ends up by bringing it round to you; that's always a sign that..."
"That doesn't mean anything Glen, and as I said, why should he be interested in someone my age?"
A gleam of triumph came into Glen's eyes. "Aha, that's where son can teach mother something, "he crowed.
"And what is son going to teach mother?"
"That these days lots of young guys prefer older women, and lots of older women are going for the young guys," Glen said smugly.
"Oh well you'd know all about that," Harriet retorted acidly.
"Er...what...what do you mean?" Glen asked cautiously.
Harriet, hands on hips, snapped, "I mean, you and that divorcee you see so much of."
"Yer-you ner-know," Glen gasped; he'd thought he'd been so careful about his relationship with Marion.
"Yer-yes, I ner-know," Harriet mimicked. "How could I not know when everybody in the neighbourhood knows; it had to get around to me eventually."
"Yes, well, point proved," Glen mumbled, not feeling quite so cocky."
"Proved what point?"
"The young guy and the older woman."
With mock patience Harriet went on, "Just because you like screwing an older woman doesn't mean every young guy wants to, especially Alex.
Embarrassed and angry Glen rose and said, "Okay mum, have it your way. I thought you'd be pleased, but as you're not I...I..." He didn't know what else to say so grabbing the remains of his sandwich he headed out of the kitchen."
Harriet called after him, "I didn't say that I wasn't..." but Glen had gone.
* * * * * * * *
A thought once put into your head, even if ostensibly rejected, has a way of lingering and even expanding, and so it was with Harriet as she thought about her and Alex. She might have denied it with Glen, but she knew that what he had said had accorded with her own desires, as demonstrated by her orgasm a short while ago when she had fantasized Alex as her lover.
Now that she knew for certain that her feeling for Alex was reciprocated she felt even more disturbed. For as long as she hadn't been sure she had felt safe, and her otherwise comfortable environment was not threatened. Now, if Alex attempted to... to what, seduce her, would she resist?
Then there was the hitherto unthinkable, she in her need might attempt to seduce Alex, and what might this mean for her marriage. If only she could complain about Harold, that he was abusive, violent, was mean, but it was only about his failure to keep her emotionally satisfied she could find fault.
She was confused, and in the midst of this confusion Glen returned to the kitchen looking resentful. He went straight to the refrigerator and took out a lump of cheese, and taking out a knife from the cutlery drawer and sitting at the table he began to cut slices of cheese.
Harriet, feeling that she had been unfair to him tried to make amends.
"Glen, what you said about Alex, you were joking weren't you?"
