Give me an older woman every time
Give me an older woman every time, they don’t yell, they don’t tell and they’re grateful as hell. Give me an older woman every time.
B. Hill
I knew as I left Amelia that I was in trouble. This was only the second time I’d ever had sex. And it was obvious that I was not a natural. Over all I was pretty confused, if A boy is supposed to be experienced and a girl is not, where does one get ones experience? There really wasn’t anyone I could talk to about this either. My parents would freak if they found out their baby boy had gone off to college and was having sex. My friends would just laugh, and I don’t think my priest has ever had sex. So who could I talk to.
I finally came up with an answer I called the local radio shock jock. I asked him who I could talk to about it and this was his advice. I should take a ride down Van Buren Ave. I was kind of surprised because that is where all the local hookers hang out. He just laughed and told me to find a pimpmobile. I had to ask what that was. He told me that down Van Buren I’d find what was obviously a pimpmobile. He told me I couldn’t miss it. It would be one of those cars that you’d ask yourself why would anyone spend that kind of money to make a car look just that way. Once I found it I should tell the guy I was hiring a teacher and to pay him whatever he demanded. I thanked him hung up and sat down to think about that.
It actually seemed like a good idea to me so I figured what the hell why not.. I got kind of dressed up and headed over to the bank. I took out a hundred dollars because that’s what the cop shows always seem to think is about right. I went out that night and had a really good meal and then headed off for Van Buren . I had to drive the whole length of Van Buren to find the car. I must say the DJ was right. I couldn’t believe anyone would shell out that much money to make a car look so bad.
I pulled in next to him and asked him about hookers. He looked me over and asked me if I was a cop. I laughed and said no. He looked me over again and asked me what he could do for me. I felt really embarrassed but I laid out my little problem for him. He kind of grinned at me called me dog and asked for twenty bucks. I gave him the twenty and he passed me a number. He told me to call it and tell her my problem. He said it would all be fixed.
Which is how I came to be explaining myself to a very nice lady. She listened to my woes and told me she might not be what I expected but she could help me with my problem. I set an appointment with her for the next night and happily hung up the phone.