Friends Lie Us

Deb? Oh yes, I remember that dumb ass. Of all the girls I grew up with, she was about the most stupid human being of all of us. Don't get me wrong, she was nice enough, she didn't have a mean bone in her body but she was stupid. Brain dead stupid, dumb, moronic, whatever you want to call her. Trust me, fellow sex maniacs, it ended up pretty much exactly as one might expect.

With that gorgeous red hair and hazel eyes, she was a real looker that always drew attention. She didn't have the boobs to flaunt but she didn't have mosquito bites either. Somewhere in the middle and, once she began to figure out what boys wanted, I think she was the first one of us who got felt up at a theater. She was first to brag about it, let's say it that way.

That was a long time ago, back in the days when if you did it, had sex, before you got out of school, the scarlet letter of shame was branded on you and the threat of going to jail scared us all. It was good that none of us was real good at math. If we had been, we would have realized most of the oldest brother or sister all of us had had been a surprise package to our parents.

Thinking back on it, they made us all wait until we passed our 18

th

birthday before we were supposed to discover sex. Making it legal, I guess. We all held on to our virginity, at least all my friends. Sometimes by a thread, but we held the line and didn't cross it. We talked big but we were all clueless anyway. All waiting, all figuring Deb would be first to go. I don't know that she was first but we sure did hear the story.

Billy was the first guy to cop a feel on her, a clumsy affair to say the least. He spent a lot of time try to unhook her bra before he realized they were in the front, not the back. She had giggled, he got pissed and it was the end of the relationship before the show was over. Then, like all guys, Billy bragged to everybody he'd gotten a handful of tit off of Deb. She was shamed, we thought it was gross and swore we'd never let our guys get away with that. Or they knew to keep their moths closed. Then Deb started dating Ray.

He was a real gentleman, a great dancer and we all knew he just wanted a piece of ass off the red head. I think I said that to her, she just laughed it off and we all were graduates by then. Life was waiting and so were the guys. I remember I was walking by her house that Sunday morning, her parents were just leaving on vacation, she was standing the yard waving good by and I said she could come over. She said she would in a couple of hours and I didn't think any more about it. Should have insisted but then again, I didn't know Ray was on his way over.

Deb didn't come over, she called about four hours later and I knew there was something wrong. I rushed over and, when she opened the door, I knew. She had been wearing a sleeveless shirt and slacks, now it was a bathrobe and she'd been crying. She opened the door, looked up and down the street and then at me before she announced, "I got screwed."

She let me in and it was pretty obvious, even to virgin me, that she'd gone all the way. Her clothes were on the floor and for some reason I remember she'd worn flowered panties and her bra didn't match. The old blanket on the couch was stained, I didn't realize it was her blood, she was sobbing by then and this was a mess. It soon got worse.

Ray was gone, that was good, probably went to an ER to have them put a cast on his pecker, as solid as Deb had been when he broke her it. He'd told her he'd pull out before he came and the dumb ass believed him. Of course he hadn't, he'd dumped a load into her. What a surprise it wasn't she was knocked up.

Deb did the right thing, she had an abortion and settled down right away with another loser, Bob. She was the loyal wife and soon became a good mother. I'd been in her wedding but we drifted apart and I didn't see a lot of her when her sons were born or they moved to a suburb. Had no idea her Bob had a new job selling computer parts for a company out in California. I didn't know anything until I happened to run into him when I was out there. Him and his pregnant girlfriend while he was still married to Deb.

They ended up divorced shortly after I heard, she's got some other guy now to pay her bills and keep her happy, I suppose that's fine, but it sure isn't a surprise. Deb was stupid, she is stupid, she should have known guys just wanted laid, love had nothing to do with it. I will give her some credit, she was nice, just a nice girl. Another friend of mine, Hillbilly Sue, that was a whole other matter.

That bitch was mean in grade school and then got meaner, if that was possible. She had that Kentucky drawl but nobody made fun of it more than once. It was a whole lot easier to not talk to her at all but she did like me, she would talk with me. She liked me a lot more than I liked her but then again I didn't want the shit beat out of me. Hillbilly Sue wasn't above starting a fight or two.

Not a slap, not a wrestle, Sue would meet some other dumb bitch at the park or back in the woods, take her shirt off and beat her enemy with her fists. Draw blood, blacken an eye, split a lip, beat. I got involved because Sue didn't hate me, I guess liked me, and trusted me to be the referee. Once, once I figured out what the issue was, I did everything I could to not be there but I still did. I was probably afraid of Sue beating me like she did Judy.

We were 18 that summer, I remember that, and Sue was sure Judy was trying to steal Herbie away from Sue. I don't know what was said or where, just that Sue called me and needed a favor when she beat Judy. I thought she was bullshitting me until she picked me up, drove to the park, parked the car and we walked back into the woods. Sue had told Judy to meet her at 2, they'd settle it with their fists. I kept trying to talk Sue out of it and then there was Judy.

She was wearing a white sweatshirt over her jeans, I remember that, Sue had a button up shirt over her jeans. I mean I've seen guys fight, I liked it honestly, but two girls going to slug it out isn't pretty nor is it a turn on. They mouthed off to each other and Sue unbuttoned her shirt. Judy said something about it wasn't turning her on, she wasn't lesbian, and Sue was totally pissed. Just like that, the fight started and, just like that, it really was over.

One punch, Sue's fist connecting to Judy's chin, the crack of skin to skin, Judy's head turned 180 degrees and she sank to her knees. It was like it was all in slow motion now, Judy's eyes open but not seeing anything, she was out cold, Sue shrugging off her shirt and ready for more. I stepped in between them, boys didn't fight when one went down, neither do we. I got Sue backed up, picked up her shirt, was trying to get her to get dressed and get out of there and realized Judy had come to. Come to and wasn't done.

Judy lunged and tackled us both in one mass of humanity. She was a big girl, tall and not fat, she could do that, grabbing at anything to hold on to. My shirt was ripped open, embarrassing the Hell out of me as I didn't have a bra on that day. Not that these little things needed it but for some reason, I was suddenly deathly afraid we'd be seen. Seen my boys. This stupidity had to stop and they weren't going to listen to stupid me.

They circled each other slowly a full revolution before Judy swung and missed. Sue pumped three quick jabs into Jude's face, her left eye closing instantly. Sue went to put a finishing punch into Judy's mouth but the bigger woman connected blindly to Sue's face, knocking the hillbilly down. I was crying, begging them to stop but it wasn't going to end. As blood ran from Sue's mouth, she staggered to her feet and motioned Judy to come and get some more.

For ten minutes, they fought, Judy's shirt more and more stained as blood rain from her mouth, nose and eyes. Actually, it was more like me crying, Sue beating Judy and Judy taking a pounding. With one last punch to the stomach, Sue driving her fist up to the elbow into Jude, the bigger girl collapsed on the ground, her wind totally knocked out of her. When she was able, Judy got up and I walked her back to her car to get out of there, waited for Sue and we went back to my place. While she took a shower and cleaned up, I spent the time staring at myself in the mirror and wondering how low I could go.

It wasn't my bare boobs that disgusted me, it was me. I used to get turned on when boys fought, maybe even got wet. Not any more, seeing Judy hurt and Sue bleeding. I put on another shirt and told myself my fight days were over, boys and girls both. It was about the grossest thing I ever saw, or so I thought.

Maybe it was, and maybe the next ten years taught me a lot about living. Ten years after that fight in the woods, I saw one of my friends be even dumber than Deb, more stupid that Sue and Judy and even dumber than I had been. To hear all about my first and last time watching a good friend of mine get gang banged, I guess you have to wait for Part Two.