I'm excited and looking forward to my long-awaited winter vacation. Stepping onto the deck of my huge, beautifully lit cruise ship, I can't help but think of it as a floating metropolis.
As I approach the main foyer, I gasp in amazement. It's massive and looks to go on forever. Not only is the ship's grandeur striking, but so are the rich details. It looks to be the work of some great Roman Emperor.
The walls are covered with a crimson fabric. The floor is made up of thousands of square white tiles resembling marble but are made out of some kind of stone that has been polished to perfection.
There are massive reproductions of gilded Roman soldiers, deities, and aristocratic sculptures throughout. I envision a great Roman orgy and infinite festivities of food and drink.
As I saunter through this amazing wonder, I'm in awe of the enormity of it all. Crystals glitter from chandeliers the size of circus rings as the ceiling almost appears to ascend into the stratosphere.
I continue to the front desk, where a young twenty-something female welcomes me with an open smile. The dark-haired lady is incredibly beautiful in her white blouse, black tie, red jacket, and black pants and has a Snow White aura to her.
"Good evening, sir; welcome aboard, may I assist you?" She asks, her voice calm and professional.
"Check me in and give me my room number, please," I respond and pass over my credentials. I give her the once-over as she pulls up my details on the computer. Oh, what I wouldn't give to be half my age; I'd surely chase this vixen from stern to aft the entire cruise.
I have my room number and key card within minutes and decide to head back out on deck to join the other passengers as we set sail from the Port of Miami for our 8-day Caribbean cruise. We haven't left port yet, and already scantily clad, lovely bodies are lining the rails.
After about an hour, I head back inside, intending to look around first. There's an intriguing little snack bar within a few steps of the lobby and I decide to postpone my exploration of the ship until the morning. It was at this point that I realized how hungry and exhausted I am. It has been a long day from driving through a snowstorm to getting to the airport on time for my flight to Miami, only to have it delayed by the local weather.
I head straight for the snack bar and order a burger and fries and it hits the spot.
Following that, I take the elevator to my cabin for a peaceful night's sleep. I enter my cabin by swiping my card at the door. My stateroom is just as magnificent as everything else on board: a spacious king-size bed, a wide window, a private balcony with views of the Atlantic Ocean; and as we leave port, I notice the city lights getting smaller and smaller; dimmer and dimmer. The window will be a beautiful vista in the morning, I imagine.
There is plush carpeting throughout; comfortable furniture; a 55" flat-screen TV with cable channels galore; and a mini refrigerator filled with complimentary water bottles and snacks. The room reminds me more of an elegant Las Vegas hotel suite than the old, drab cabins of sailing's past.
You have to love it when you step through the door and your luggage is waiting to welcome you to your well-deserved vacation. I grab and toss it on the bed, along with my heavy winter coat and take out my toothbrush, and go into the bathroom. The bathroom is spacious and well-lit. It features his and her sinks, coffee maker, hairdryer as well as a plethora of soaps, lotions, and shampoo.
I'm finally ready for a good night's sleep. Even in the middle of winter, I like to sleep in my birthday suit. I turn off the lights, and snuggle up between the immaculately clean sheets. The ship's rhythmic swaying soon puts me into a deep restful slumber.
"Your suitcase," calls a man's voice as the door opens and quickly closes again.
"mmfm ok." I mumble incoherently and am disoriented with heavy eyes. For a brief moment I think I'm having a weird dream before falling asleep again.
I wake up in the morning, resting on my back with my head propped up on a pillow. I'm wrapped in sheets, feeling rejuvenated and ready for anything. A woman with a sleepy grin laying next to me says, "Good morning."
A split second later we both gasp in frightening shock as we realize we are not alone and cozying up between the sheets. We throw off the covers and hastily step to the foot of the bed in our bareness.
We don't know what to do, so we stand, dazed and confused, staring at each other for a few moments, until it sinks in. The small light-blonde-haired lady puts her hands on her hips and demands to know.
"What in the hell are you doing in my room?!?"
"Your room!" I snap back. "Like hell it is, you're in my room!"
"Bullshit, I am" she claims. She angrily struts over to the dresser in her nakedness and snatches her boarding pass from her handbag, while I grab mine out of my suitcase.
"See...I'm in cabin 414" she says, angrily shaking the paper in my face.
I take a glance at my boarding card and am taken aback as I hand it to her. "I'm in 414 as well...take a look."
She shakes her head in utter disbelief, relaxes, the forty-something lady tucks her short cropped hair behind her ears, and carefully examines the passes.
"Hey," she asks in a raspy, early-morning voice. "Is Johnson your last name?"
"Yeah, David Johnson, why?" I ask
"My last name is Johnson too, Melanie." She laughs and lowers her arms, each hand is holding a pass. "I'm sure they think we're married."
"All right...okay, so, I'll get dressed and find another room." I roll my eyes and start dressing in an attempt to do the right thing. Melanie can't help but stare at my bare body as I take my clothing and dump them on the bed.
"No," she says, "I'm sorry."
"You don't want me to leave?!?" I ask again.
"No, no, no... why?" She asks, flattening her hands and then grabbing my arm as I nervously manage to get a leg into my trousers.
Melanie asks "Do you have a wife or girlfriend? What brings you on this cruise?"
"Well, no...I was hoping I would get lucky and maybe meet someone, you know, my soulmate?"
"Forget your pants." She says as she knocks them out of my hands onto the floor, pats my bum a couple times and leads me to the table by the window. "Come here."
Melanie shrugs and continues talking.
"Maybe this is fate. We've already slept together, had our first argument. You and I are standing naked in front of each other and we don't seem to be diving for cover. Do you think I look like good wife material?"
"I don't know, I think you look damn cute. You'd be good wife material to me."
Melanie laughs. "Do you really?"
"Yeah, I do."
"I'm glad we have that in common." She smiles and pulls me closer to her body, places a hand on my chest and the other on my shoulder then proposes. "Mm... Okay, let's get dressed, have breakfast and get to know each other, what do you say?"
