"Maybe instead of just reading them racy stories on Literotica," 63 year old Albert Cobb mumbled to himself as he tried not to notice his next door neighbor heading over to the fence that separated his house from the Sager's on Sunnyside Drive, "I should write one myself. Of course I would have to do something to write about."
That wasn't what Albert's intention was when he had started spending an absurd amount of time tending to his modest sized garden as he adjusted to retirement, but the droning of his wife and the never-ending roar of the television drove him out to his little yard, that along with the little girl next door being outside a lot.
The fact that the little girl next door was no longer little but had graduated from high school was a factor in him striking up conversations, and while the 18 year old was a rather ordinary looking gal, the crack of dawn made him horny these days as he had forgotten how long it had been since he had sex.
Now take little Laura here, the senior mused as he looked up and exchanged greetings with her, and as he shielded his eyes from the sun the taking of Laura was exactly what he would like to do.
"You look extra pretty this morning," Albert mentioned as he watched the girl rest her elbows on the fence while he got back down on his balky knees.
"You said that yesterday morning too Mr. Cobb," Laura tittered.
"It was true yesterday too," Albert assured the teen. "Must be nice to be you, getting prettier every day. Gonna be a hot one today too."
"I know. I'm sweating already and I'm not working like you are," Laura mentioned as the old man squinted up at her, and the way that her neighbor was looking at her was not lost on the teen.
"Bet your sweat tastes like spring water," Albert Cobb mumbled and noticed that the things he only thought about before now came out of his mouth, a sign that their relationship was changing on the fly.
"I shaved this morning, Mr. Cobb," Laura mentioned when he saw that her elderly neighbor's eyes had strayed to her armpits which were exposed by the sleeveless top and from the way her elbows were propped up on the fence.
"So I see," Albert replied as he smiled at the round hollows under her slightly plump arms, the smooth craters shiny with perspiration. "Hope that wasn't because of what I said yesterday. I thought the peach fuzz was sexy too."
"No, I shave every other day anyway," Laura confessed, her formerly shy demeanor having changed a bit recently when she figured out the old guy was checking her out.
"Waste of time. Of course if you ever need help..."
"I'll let you know Mr. Cobb," Laura giggled in response.
"Not like it was when I was your age, but I noticed some girls these days don't bother shaving," Albert said. "You could be the only hippie in the village in the 21st century."
"I'd have to listen to my Mom whine if I did that though."
"That girl who lives over on Exchange Street," Albert mentioned as the old man straightened up from his gardening. "The one that got hit by a car a while back?"
"Becky?"
"Don't know her name, but when I was at the store the other day she was in there. Had this wife-beater shirt on and nothing underneath it," the senior recalled. "Not only could you see everything, but that gal had more hair under her arms than I do."
"That bother you Mr. Cobb?"
"Hell no, I love the ladies no matter what shape or size, and it would take more than a little hair to scare me off, but I confess it did shock me."
"I was in her gym glass last year," Laura told him. "You should see her without any clothes."
"I agree," Mr. Cobb chuckled. "Wouldn't have minded being a fly in that locker room while you two cuties were changing clothes."
"What was so unusual about that gal that got your attention?" Albert wondered aloud when he thought that Laura wasn't going to elaborate.
"Nothing I guess, but she - she's got a lot of hair everywhere."
"That so? Hairy legs?"
"I dunno, but I mean - you know - between her legs," Laura mumbled.
"All gals have hair down there," Albert said. "At least they used to as I recall."
"Not like her."
"I see. That gross you out?"
"No, I mean I wish I had that problem," Laura confessed. "It would hide me better."
"Hide you?"
"Yeah. I'm really ugly down there," Laura admitted as she scrunched up her face.
"I swear child, the way you talk about yourself? Lucky I have eyes so I can see the way you really look," Albert said.
"No Mr. Cobb. I know what I look like down there, and it's nothing like the other girls."
"Now Laura," Albert sighed. "You are your own worst critic."
"No, this isn't just me putting myself down. Even my friend Diane tells me that I've got gigantic flaps."
"Flaps?" Albert mused aloud. "You mean your labia?"
"I guess that's what they call them," Laura shrugged. "All I know is that they look hideous."
"You and your friend - Diane you said her name was?"
"Yeah."
"She the girl with the short black hair and the big boobs?"
"Yeah, how do you know that Mr. Cobb?"
"Told you I've been keeping my eye on you," the old man grinned. "You and Diane must have fun when she sleeps over."
"Sorry, that wasn't nice," the senior apologized when he saw his neighbor blush. "You should have fun while you're young, because it's no fun getting old."
"You sound like my Dad," Laura suggested.
"If he feels that way now wait until he gets to be my age."
"He's about your age isn't he?" Laura asked. "He's almost 50. How old are you?"
"63, but that was nice of you to say that."
"I always used to be afraid of you," Laura confessed. "You reminded me of Bluto on the Popeye cartoons."
"I'm been called worse, although my beard has some grey in it," Albert said.
"Beards are sexy," Laura giggled.
"Is that so? This is quite a day for me. First you tell me that I look young for my age, and then you tell me that you like beards," Albert told her. "Keep that up and I'll start thinking that your flirting with me isn't just kidding around."
"Flirting?"
