You sit by your window and gaze out upon the moonlit grass and the night is illuminated by it's beautiful brilliance. The sadness that permeates your soul is reflected in your face and the tears stream silently down your cheeks in rivulets. Contemplating your life, the loneliness and the hours spent wondering if things would ever be the same again.
There is silence all around you but for the beating of your heart. Even the night is incredibly quiet no breeze, the owls let out a "hoot, hoot" that is both haunting and sad as it breaks the quiet of the stillness of the night. Your arms wrap themselves around you as you rock to and fro, lost in your sadness.
Where is he why hasn't he called, he doesn't realize that you wait an eternity for that one phone call, a message or something. Just to let you know that he is OK maybe just thinking about you as you are thinking of him. You knew even before it really started and grew to these proportions that he wouldn't be able to give you much of his time.
What you dared to believe or could even imagine would be clearly deemed as unrealistic and not feasible. Why do you berate yourself and wait for something that isn't going to happen? Truly you are not thinking rationally you tell yourself, he is just a pipe dream and it is never going to come to fruition. Your mind tortures you, but you know what is inside of him and that he cares for you so very deeply.
You are vulnerable inside, so wound up that you feel as if you want to run and hide and never return to the light of day. He brought you out of your shell and made you feel wanted and needed again. When you have been the princess locked away in her ivory tower for so long and one day you know that your prince charming has come for you. He has set you free from your sexual oppression and you can once again give freely of yourself.
You allow him to see inside of you to open the floodgates of desire and he captures more than your heart, he has your body and all that you are in the very palm of his hand. You feel a sensation of unfathomable joy this freedom, a lightness of your soul and your spirit is free at last.
When he first noticed you, he was drawn to you immediately, your passion, your beauty, charm and sensuality. He adored your sensitivity and tender heart and you had an instant rapport with him. There was a comfort in knowing that you could probably talk for hours and never grow tired of hearing each other's voices. You were his flamboyant flower and you brought the sunshine into his life, that had been missing for so long.
He found you incredibly sexy and enjoyed your very vivid erotic mind. You fell in love with the man he was, the personality and his very sexy demeanor, there was something so amazing, tender yet beautiful and so heart wrenching in it's absolute poignancy. He made you feel amazing, desired, that you were special a woman to be cherished and adored. You fell for him from the very first time he spoke to you.