My senior year at college started disastrously. The Housing Office messed up and assigned me as roommates to a student who was destined to become either a ruthless corporate CEO, or a convict -- he hadn't yet committed to a major.
Don sold weed and pills out of our dorm room, organized huge keg parties, and juggled three girlfriends, seldom pausing for classes. Several nights a week I'd come "home," find the door locked with a sock on the handle, and need another place to sleep.
One night I got back to the room before he did to study for a test the next day. He showed up around 8pm with girlfriend No. 2, Shelly. She conveniently went to the Ladies Room down the hall so he could ask me to sleep someplace else. I refused.
"Screw you" he said, "She's staying here tonight anyway."
Mine was the top of the two bunk beds. I laid there for hours hearing them fuck, the whole bed shaking as he pounded her. It was like trying to hold on in a lifeboat during a storm while listening to a porn soundtrack.
By the next morning I had blue balls -- and had had enough of my roommate. I decided to move out. With all the dorm rooms filled by that point, off campus housing was my only option.
I checked out the bulletin board in the student center, where rooms were advertised, got a fistful of quarters, and started calling to set up appointments to check out the options.
The second place I visited seemed perfect. A speech pathologist and her husband rented out a bedroom on the second floor of their attached duplex in a quiet neighborhood near campus. The house was tidy, and they interviewed me when I showed up with a few basic questions -- if I had a job, smoked, could pay two months' rent in advance. I signed the rental agreement on the spot and set up a move-in time.
As Mrs. Stolzfus walked me to the front door she offered the usual pleasantries -- "The rent is due on the first of each month. You can use the kitchen, and washer and dryer if you are tidy" -- that kind of stuff, until we reached the front door.
"And here are your house keys, front and back doors." She held up a pair of keys on a simple key chain. As I reached out for them she pulled her hand back.
"Oh, did I mention our daughter, Leslie -- she lives here too."
She gestured with the keys to a picture on the bookcase, a young woman in a high school graduation gown, skinny, big smile, long frizzy blonde hair, braces. "We've got big plans for her. She's at Penn State." Penn was at the opposite end of the State, hundreds of miles away.
I looked at her with one of those placeholder smiles -- you know, waiting to understand the point.
Her mother continued. "What did you say your major was? Some liberal arts thing? That's so sweet. We're planning on a pre-med student for Leslie. Maybe pre-law. Either would make a good husband for her." Mom looked at me with a tight smile that didn't disguise the steely look in her eyes. She said nothing more, waiting for what seemed like a long, uncomfortable pause while I thought about this.
Then it dawned on me. This was a polite way of saying "stay the heck away from our daughter."
Now, as obnoxious as that might have seemed, it really wasn't.
The duplex house was small with one bathroom. The bedrooms were all on the second floor. It wasn't as tight as a dorm, but close. And Mom -- well, being a mother who grew up in the 50's - wanted her daughter to ascend to a life of luxury as a doctor or lawyer's wife.
Made sense. Didn't take a brick building to fall on me.
"She's very pretty Mrs. Stolzfus, and must get her looks from you." The opportunity for suck-up flattery with my landlady wasn't lost on me, even at that age. "I'm sure she'll meet a nice pre-med major."
Mom's smile relaxed. "I think you'll work out just fine here. You probably won't run into her anyway -- she'll only be back during school breaks." And with that she handed me the house keys and held the door open for me.
By that point I was working part time and trying to finish up my classes, and the semesters passed quickly. Sometimes on the weekend I'd share dinner with the Stolzfuses, but it didn't happen that often with my schedule.
And as far as their off-limits daughter? Mom didn't need to worry. Leslie came home over the Thanksgiving break, and at Christmas, but otherwise wasn't around.
Besides, when I first saw her picture -- and told her mother how pretty she was -- I was lying. She wasn't my type -- skinny, flat chested, fly-away hair, a few zits, big nose, and an attitude to match.
From what I could gather her hunt for a pre-med student wasn't going that well. She spent the breaks at home either on the phone, or out with her high school friends, so we rarely talked.
I'd sometimes see her in the hallway as she went from her bedroom to the bathroom in her underwear in a flimsy nightgown, or oversized t-shirt. I confess that I'd sometimes jerk off thinking about her -- more to relieve my perpetual 20 year-old horniness than because of any interest in her, although at that age it didn't take much to get me going.
By the week of graduation my schedule was winding down -- classes were over, finals had been completed, and I had quit my part time job. I had a free week to kill before I left for grad school across the country, so I spent the time trying to relax, and prepping for my move West.
It was that Saturday that Mr. Stolzfus asked if I'd like to join them for dinner. "Since you'll be leaving next week we thought we could get a pizza and thank you for being such a model tenant." I didn't have a car, was always low on cash, and heck, free pizza was...free pizza.
"Sure, that would be great." It turned out that Leslie wouldn't be home until the following weekend, something about a potential boyfriend in State College she was flirting with, or something, so it was just the three of us.
Dinner was really casual -- sweats and socks. Mr. Stolzfus set out the pizza and dinner plates, and we chatted. Charles was a life insurance salesman, and this was his second marriage -- Leslie was his step daughter.
I politely asked questions about his work, but half of what he told me was incomprehensible, and the other half was as boring as watching paint dry. He didn't seem to have any hobbies or outside interests, and when I asked him what he did for fun, he said simply "watch TV and relax."
Mrs. Stolzfus -- Jo - ran the house. In fact, it was her house before Charles moved in, a house which she was awarded in her divorce.