The 7th day of August 1877.
It has been five years since I came to Yew Tree Farm and I have just found out that I am with child. Everyone on the farm is delighted. We never thought that it would happen.
I want to record my life so far. Maybe no-one will read it but I want to write it because I don't get to write much these days.
I was born way up north in the Blackmore Vale part of Dorset. My parents were not good. My father and mother both drank a lot and sometimes they didn't work. I had to fend for myself much of the time. The local parson was a good man. His wife made sure that I had food and simple but clean clothes. She was the teacher at the village school. She saw to it that I had my numbers and letters. I could read some parts of the bible but not all.
At the age of twelve the parson's wife found me a place in the house of an old lady a few villages down the Vale. She was very good to me. I had to work hard but I had time to read and write. She was very keen on girls reading and writing. A lot of people thought that it was odd.
There was a cook and I helped her as well as doing most of the cleaning. I was glad that the washing was done by women in the village.
I had a warm bed and three meals a day as well as clean clothes. I even had a little money to spend on myself. Mostly I would buy little things from the Hawkers who passed through our village: ribbons and other furbelows. I put some coins away each week in the hope that someday I should be wed. It is not good to go into a marriage empty handed.
Years passed and I had every reason to be happy but sometimes a lust would take me. There would be such a feeling between my legs. At night in my bed I would do things to myself that I knew were wrong.
When I was seventeen I heard that my parents had died in a fire. One of them had knocked over a candle while they were having a drunken row. I was sad but not as sad as I thought I would be.
At the age of nineteen my world fell apart; the old lady died. Her family had no reason to take care of me. The old lady left me five pounds in her will. The family didn't know if that would be too much for me so they gave me three sovereigns. I was grateful.
I was also grateful that they found me a place at a big house in the south of the county. I had never travelled that far before.
Nobody was interested in my reading and writing. I had to share a bed with another girl right up at the top of the house. I told her that I had my own room before. She thought that I was a bit snooty. She had never slept alone in her whole life. It made it difficult when the lust hit me. I had to be very quiet in bed. Sometimes I could hear her doing things to herself as well.
After I had been there a week the master asked to see me. He said that it was his duty to make sure that all the new girls were good. He made me bend over a chair while he pulled down my bloomers. He pushed my feet apart and then he pushed his hard pizzle into my muff. I knew that I shouldn't like it but I really did. It was the thing that I had been waiting for all those years.
The master said that he wasn't sure about me so he called his son in from the next room. He tupped me and said that I was good but he wasn't sure. The master pulled a cord to call his butler.
When the butler came and saw me bent over with my bloomers down he said, "Should I fetch the cane M'lord?"
The master told him that they were testing my cunt. I'd never heard it called that before. He wanted the butler's opinion. He tupped me and declared me a little too wet for a really good girl but still satisfactory.
In bed that night I told the other girl about it. She said it was quite normal. She was glad when I arrived as they would give her a rest.
From then on I was tupped regularly. I was a bit worried about getting into baby trouble but nothing happened.
And then one day, when I was nearly twenty-one, disaster struck. I was bent over in the master's study. The young master was tupping me while his lordship was waiting for his turn. He was doing really well. If he didn't push me over the edge I was certain that his father would. They were very considerate like that. I didn't know what it was called but if it didn't happen they would call the butler and one time the under butler to help.
I could feel that I was getting close when her ladyship burst into the room clutching a letter or something.
When she saw me being tupped she was livid. She wanted me dismissed but firstly she wanted the butler to cane my backside raw.
The butler knew it wasn't my fault so he gave me one token stroke with the cane and some money, one sovereign, from his lordship. I thought that he was going to tup me but he didn't so I knew things were pretty serious. He told me that his sister knew of a farmer who was looking for a wife for his son. The girl had to be fond of being tupped. He thought that I fitted the bill. He gave me the address and put me on a cart that was travelling that way.
I had to meet the farmer's wife in a pub in the village near to Yew Tree Farm. She told me that if I married her son, I would have to do it of my own free will. If I didn't want to, she said that she knew of a chicken farm where she could get me a job.
It was a bit funny because her name was Mary and my name is Mary. We both laughed and she said we could get over that. She asked me what my middle name was. She said I could be called Mary Candida or just Candida. It was up to me.
She was very frank and she told me not to be shy. She asked me all about my feelings about being tupped and all that. She didn't judge me. She told me that nobody on the farm would judge me.
She asked me if I liked being tupped. When I said that I did she asked me if I would like to be tupped more or tupped less. I thought for a bit and she told me to be honest so I told her more.
She asked me, if I had the choice, would I like to be tupped by the same man for the rest of my life or by several men. She told me to be honest. I coloured up a little but I told her several.
He explained about the customs and rituals they had on Yew Tree Farm. She said that she enjoyed them and never felt any shame.
She didn't want me to decide straight away. I could stay in the pub overnight and walk out with her son tomorrow.
She asked me if I had any questions. I asked her if there were any books to read on the farm. She was delighted that I could read and even more so when I told her I could write.
She said that she loved to read by candlelight in the evening and that she had at least thirty books. Her husband would bring a second hand book back from Dorchester Market if he thought she would like it.
The next morning Young Edward knocked on the pub door. He was a little shy but smartly dressed. I think that I loved him as soon as I saw him.
We walked and we talked for hours. He told him the things that he liked and I told him most of the things that I liked.
I asked if he would mind not being the only one to tup his wife. He said not at all. It was the way it should be. He said that he would be very proud to know that the farm men would be enjoying his lovely wife just as his father was about his mother. T'was the way it had always been.
He asked if I didn't mind, he would demonstrate why.
He laid me down by the river bank and removed my bloomers and he tupped me for the first time. He said that it was alright to do it like that, away from the farm.
He was very good. He was strong and he had stamina. He pushed me right over the top and I shook like a leaf in a storm.
When he had finished, he laid beside me. He told me to be honest. Did I enjoy that? I told him I did. Then he asked me if I would like another one straight away. I told him that I would very much.
He told me that is why he was happy for me to be tupped lots. No man could do it properly alone.
Then he did what he called 'the next best thing'. He made me raise my knees and spread them as wide as I could. He pushed his thumb into my flue and gripped my buttock with his other fingers. He made pressing and circling movements with his thumb against the bottom of my flue. It felt lovely. After a while, he pulled his thumb out and replaced it with two fingers. This time he made the circling movements against the top of my flue. There was one place that made me feel faint every time his fingers brushed it. Just when I thought that I was about to shake he found the little man in the boat with his thumb. I shook and I shook and I shook.
It wasn't the next best thing. It was the best thing; even better than being tupped.
I asked him where he had learned to do it. He told me that when he first thought about getting married his mother sent him to see a wise woman in the village. Her husband had shown him how to bring a woman pleasure and told Edward to come there everyday for a week to practise on the wise wife.
Edward said I wasn't to tell anyone else about it. It was just for me to know.
I stayed with a village woman, who owned the pub, while the wedding was arranged. The banns had to be read for three weeks.
We walked to the church in the village on the morning of my twenty-first birthday. I had a new floral dress and bonnet. I had heard somewhere that it was becoming the fashion for genteel ladies to marry in white but no country woman could buy a dress to wear it only once. The wedding feast was held at the pub in the village.
In the evening Young Edward, he said I could just call him Edward but as his father was also called Edward it was easier that way, took me to the barn. He showed me the Hoss. This was a big wooden frame with an ancient horse saddle on it. Young Edward strapped me to it. It just felt right. He said he was going to fuck me. And he did. Our first time as man and wife. Each evening he did the same. Every night we played with each other's body but we had to keep our tupping for the Hoss. Somehow it made it more special. Once as we were entering the barn we heard Old Edward tupping Mary. We had to hide behind the barn until they had finished.
The following Saturday, Young Edward took me to see the Wages day ceremony in the barn. We stood to one side slightly out of sight.
Young Edward's mother was brought into the barn by his father. She was strapped to the Hoss. He lifted her skirt to reveal her bare backside. Then the six farm men walked in and formed a line, their ages ranged from about 18 to 50. Old Edward shouted go! The men all ran off.
As the men came back into the barn they formed a line behind Old Edward. They called him Old Edward but he was only about 45 but they did it to tell him from my Edward. Mary, we weren't allowed to call her Old Mary, was about a year younger.
I told Young Edward that it didn't seem fair. The younger men got there first. He laughed and said that the older men preferred it that way. The young men stoked the fire and old men got the heat.
I stepped forward. Edward said I could stay hidden. I told him that if I was going to take part in the ceremony eventually, they should all see that I wasn't afraid of it.
Old Edward went up to the Hoss. He unbuttoned his breeches and a rather magnificent pizzle flopped out. I'm sure that he held it outwards for a while so that I could get a good view of it.
He buried it in Mary and humped her hard like a prize bull.
He stood back and covered himself.
The first field workers stepped up and did his best to do what his master had just done. All the time he was tupping Mary he was staring straight at me. I think he wanted me to know that he would be doing it to me someday soon. My Edward was so proud.
As he finished he buttoned his breeches and thanked Old Edward for the use of his Hoss. He received a small bag that contained his wages and then he left the barn.
