Elf Patty

Author's Note: Any and all persons engaging in any sexual activity are at least eighteen years of age.

*Disclaimers: This story has been edited by myself, utilizing Microsoft Spell-Check. You have been forewarned; expect to find mistakes.

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Garland Skelton left Williams Haberdashery and looked up and down the nearly empty Thompson Mall. True, it was a Tuesday afternoon, too early for any of the schools to be letting out, but it was a few weeks before Christmas. Garland could remember a time that, even on a Tuesday afternoon, he would have been fighting his way through throngs of people.

Some storefronts had the roll-down grates in front of them. This was another sign of the dismal economy after the COVID pandemic; stores that had been fixtures of Thompson Mall now deserted. Garland wandered to the coffee kiosk in the middle of the large, sprawling mall. This was yet another sign of decline; there was only one person working at the small kiosk. There was no line of customers waiting.

"Yeah?" the young man said, looking up from his cell phone when Garland tired of waiting and cleared his throat.

Garland placed his order. Halfway through the young man's labors, Garland almost told him to forget it; obviously it was too much trouble for the employee.

"You want to add a twenty percent tip?" the young man asked when Garland swiped his card.

"I would, but your sullen attitude has made sure I won't," Garland snapped. "Try saying 'yes sir,' and 'thank you.' It would go a long way toward ensuring you actually do get tips."

"What the fuck ever," the young man snapped and returned his attention to his cell phone.

"Enjoy poverty, punk ass bitch," Garland said, sipping his beverage.

Just beyond the kiosk was 'Santa's Village.' There were three mothers with five children in a small line. Garland smiled, recognizing his friend Craig Eagan in the Santa suit. On a whim, he joined the three mothers.

"Mither, you going see Santa too?" an adorable little girl asked, looking up at the tall slender man.

"I sure am," Garland smiled at the little girl, taking his eyes from the very attractive elf that was helping Santa. "And what you going ask Santa for?"

The little girl rattled off a long list of toys. Garland had not heard of most of these toys. The young mother smiled indulgently as her daughter told the nice man all about her Christmas wishes.

"Well, my goodness!" Garland said. "I think I'd be happy just to get one of those."

"Well, you have to be a very good girl," the child explained.

"Well, I've been a very good boy this year," Garland smiled. "Does that count?"

"Mommy, does being a boy count?" the girl asked.

"Well, I'm pretty sure it does," the strawberry blonde mother stated. "Remember, your Daddy's a boy."

Garland recognized the adorable elf helping his friend. He had thought the girl was very cute when she'd briefly dated his son. Garland had also liked her quiet, almost subservient mannerisms. The few conversations they'd had, Garland had noticed that she was also intelligent.

Dressed in her elf costume of short green felt skirt, snug white long sleeved pullover and short green felt vest with matching green felt cap, the short eighteen year old girl was very cute indeed. Garland spent a moment admiring her outfit and the way the snug top clung to her form.

"Hi, Mr. Skelton," Patty said nervously as Garland stepped up.

"Hello, Patty; how are you?" Garland asked, looking at the small paunch the 'elf' sported.

"I, I'm good. You?" Patty lied.

Patty Carpenter was one of the reasons Garland Christopher Skelton had told his wife, Melanie Skelton, nee Burke that he would not bail his son out of the latest scrape the spoiled, arrogant young man found himself in. Kevin had flashed his father's money around, flashed his brand new BMW around and had cajoled/coerced/promised Mercedes Phillips into his back seat.

Minutes after fucking the cute, portly blonde, Kevin had moved on to the red headed Patty Carpenter. Unfortunately, Kevin had left a little present with Mercedes and Mercedes and her lawyer had sued Kevin for child support, medical bills and whatever else they could get out of Kevin.

"Actually, whatever they could get out of me," Garland had snapped at Forrest Meynard, his attorney.

Looking from her small pregnant belly to her adorable face, Garland had to concede, his son did have excellent taste in fuck buddies. Mercedes had been a very cute blonde. Because of her few extra pounds, the girl had possessed some very nice breasts and an impressive backside. Patty was a ginger haired cutie with slim body and beautiful green eyes. Her slim face made Patty the perfect elf.

"Being, what? Four foot six also helps, I'm sure," Garland thought as Patty fiddled nervously with her latex elf ears.

"No, no, no," Craig said when Patty led Garland to where Santa waited.

"That's 'ho ho ho,' you numbskull," Garland smiled.

"Patty, why? Why did you let this guy in?" Craig said and hefted himself from his seat. "You're supposed to keep the naughty ones out."

The two men hugged. Garland patted Craig's belly and Craig slapped Garland's hand away.

"See you don't need no padding," Garland observed.

"Aw, you asshole," Craig laughed. "Come on, you've had Barbara's cooking. You tell me you'd be able to stay nice and skinny, huh?"

"All right, I actually do want my picture with Santa," Garland smiled.

"Well, you ain't sitting on my lap," Craig said.

"Patty, come here; I want you in his picture too," Garland said, making a snap decision.

He had observed the girl even while chatting with the adorable little strawberry blonde and her mother. Patty had been hard working, industrious and patient. One little boy had been less than cooperative and Patty had borne the inconvenience very well.

Garland did not sit in Santa's lap. Instead, he and 'Santa' put their arms around each other's shoulders, Patty standing in front of the two friends.

"So, I'd like forty three, no, make it fifty of those, please," Garland said to the bored looking photographer.

"I, uh, yes sir, yes sir!" the man perked up and hustled to the printer to punch in the order.

"Fifty? You don't have fifty friends," Craig accused.

"Nope but I do have forty three employees," Garland said.

"And, instead of a bonus you going give them a picture of you? You cheap bastard," Craig said.

"Patty, how can you stand to work with this butt head?" Garland smiled.

"He's wonderful," Patty defended.

"He's what? Santa! How much are you paying this girl?" Garland laughed.

"Actually, they're not paying her what she's worth," Craig admitted to Garland.

"Listen, the Garland Dairy? We've rented the KC Hall in Sweet Oaks next Friday night?" Garland said as the photographer handed Garland the first ten copies of the photograph.

"Okay," Craig said.

"Could you and your elf come? I'll pay..." Garland said.

"You'll pay Patty five hundred dollars," Craig said.

"How much?" Patty squeaked, mouth open in shock.

Craig smiled at the girl and told Garland, "And, you'll donate five hundred dollars to Collier's Pediatrics Ward, in Eagan Equipment's name."

"Deal," Garland said and the two friends shared another hug.

"Santa? This is Jillian and her mommy says she's been a very good girl this year," Patty smiled, leading an awestruck little girl to Craig.

"Hey, Elf, uh, where's my candy cane?" Garland teased as Patty stepped out of the photographer's frame.

"Huh? Oh! Oh, Mr. Skelton, I'm sorry!" Patty said, scrambling to pluck one of the treats from her elf bucket.

The eighteen year old girl was four feet, eight inches in height and was quite slim. But her green felt skirt showed that she had a sweet little bubble butt. Her white knit top showed that she had some sweet little breasts pushing against the green vest. Garland gave her one more look before carrying his fifty photographs in their folded 'Seasons' Greetings' cards.

In his office again, Garland Skelton sighed. Despite the piped in Christmas music, he did not feel very festive. Shortly after Kevin admitted that he'd managed to impregnate Patricia Lynne Carpenter, Garland had announced that he was disowning the foolish, thoughtless nineteen year old boy. It was bad enough that Kevin had managed to flunk out of St. Peter and Paul Catholic High School, bad enough that St. Andrew's Catholic High School had expelled him for possession of marijuana, bad enough that Kevin had barely managed to graduate from Lloyd M. Bentsen High School.

During the shuffle from high school to high school, Kevin had found time to get Mercedes pregnant. The ink wasn't even dry on that settlement and he was confessing to impregnating Patty.

Shortly after Garland announced that he was cutting Kevin off, Kevin got drunk on a fifth of Garland's St. Elizabeth Superior Whiskey. After consuming the alcohol, he picked up his current girlfriend and promptly plowed his brand new BMW into the back of a Ford F250. The girl's parents were suing Garland over their daughter's injuries, most of which could not be proved or disproved.

"Soft tissue damage my ass," Garland sighed.

When Garland had announced that Kevin's free ride had come to an end, Kevin's mother had threatened divorce. Garland had shrugged and said that this was fine. Days after Kevin's unfortunate accident and subsequent incarceration, Melanie had moved out, buying herself a new home in the Julia Pines subdivision. She and her lawyers were fighting Garland, tooth and nail for half of Garland Skelton's holdings in Garland Dairy. Right now, though, Melanie was making noises that she'd drop those demands if Garland would pay for her home and for her baby boy's lawyer.

"At least bail him out of that horrible jail," Melanie pleaded at their most recent meeting.

"Get Vernon to pay his bail," Garland had said calmly.

"Uh, Vernon?" Melanie had paled.

"Mm hmm; Vernon Wurtz?" Garland smiled. "No, Melanie, as long as Kevin is in Oakleaf Lockup, I am not worried he might get some other girl knocked up, or get caught with weed in his pocket or get drunk and kill somebody's child. No. Right now, he's in the best place he can be."

"You heartless mother fucker," Melanie had snarled hatefully.

Even Corrine and Cynthia, Kevin's two older sisters thought their father was being unreasonable. To both daughters, Garland simply reminded them who was paying their tuition at Wallchester and Norwill Universities. Corrine was carrying a one point six GPA and Garland was more than sure she spent more time on her knees than with her nose in a book to get that grade. Cynthia was faring only slightly better with a GPA of 1.9. Again, Garland was fairly certain her GPA was not due to her aptitude in the classroom. That not so subtle reminder did silence their complaints.

Looking at the photograph he'd taken with Craig did bring a smile to Garland's lips. And, looking at the adorable elf did cause a slight stirring in his suit trousers. When pregnant, Melanie had been one of the sexiest women Garland had ever beheld. And, when her belly grew too big for her to shave, Garland did the honors of dragging the razor through the patch of stubble on Melanie's prominent pubic mound. Then he would do the tongue test. He would test his handiwork until Melanie tensed and screamed in ecstasy. Then he would mount her and stroke in and out until they both grunted and screamed in ecstasy.

After the birth of Kevin, Melanie had gone behind Garland's back and had a tubal ligation. That had nearly ended their five year marriage.

"Little over four months? Those nips aren't getting puffy just yet," Garland mused, squinting to see Patty's chest in the photograph. "Wonder if she's wearing a bra?"

"Mr. Meynard on line three, Mr. Skelton," Paula Emerson, Garland's personal assistant interrupted Garland's musing.

Rustler's BBQ catered the event. Because of all his legal difficulties thanks to his son's drunken escapade, there was no alcohol served at the Garland Dairy Christmas Party. Only a few people complained about his fact but the managers of their stations told those complainers that they were free to leave the venue.

"If a couple of beers are that important to you? Hey, there's the door. Liquor store's four blocks that way," the supervisors said, pointing toward the general direction of the Pak N' Sak liquor store.

A small jazz quintet played music; some dance numbers interspersed with some holiday music. 'Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer' had nearly everyone singing along, laughing and clapping.

Santa and Elf Patty circulated among the guests. Craig got more than his fair share of gropes and giggles from female employees and the wives of male employees. Elf Patty handed out candy canes to whomever requested one of the sugar free treats.

"Hey, do an old man a favor and dance with me?" Garland asked the adorable elf when she came near him.

"Mr. Skelton, you're not old," Patty smiled, putting her bucket of candy canes onto the table.

They did a clumsy foxtrot; Patty did not know the steps. Then they did a jerky jitterbug. Again, Patty didn't know the steps. The leader of the jazz quintet must have taken pity on Patty as the next number was a waltz.

"Too bad; I was kind of hoping for another jitterbug," Garland thought.

As soon as Patty caught on to the basic movements of the lively dance, she began kicking out. This caused her very short green felt skirt to flare, showing Garland her white cotton panties. But the waltz did feel nice; Patty lay her head on his chest.

Santa and Elf Patty sat with Garland and ate the delicious barbeque. Patty blushed hotly when Garland teased her and asked her where she was putting two helpings of pulled pork, a serving of beef brisket, potato salad, baked beans, and Rustler's signature blackberry cobbler with hand cranked vanilla bean ice cream. Then he asked her to dance again. This time she was much improved in her jitterbug.

After the majority of the people had eaten their fill, Garland took the podium and thanked each person for coming. He took the time to mention a few people that had really put forth the effort to make sure the dairy excelled that year. He mentioned that Santa had a few gifts and Santa's helper, Elf Patty had their bonus envelopes. Garland stated very firmly that no one was to open their bonus envelopes until they were home.

"Is this clear?" Garland admonished. "Please do not open your envelopes until you are home. So, as you leave here tonight, just tell Elf Patty your name and she'll hand you your bonus. Again, please don't open them here."

Upon receiving his bonus envelope from Patty, Tony DeFranco ripped open the envelope. He looked at the two crisp twenty dollar bills in his photograph of Garland, Santa and Elf Patty.

"What the fuck? Forty bucks?" Tony shrilled. "That's my fucking bonus? This is bull shit!"

"And a pink slip waiting for your ignorant self when you come in on Monday," Garland muttered. "Should be grateful I gave your lazy ass anything at all."

"Um, Patty, I, could I give you a ride home?" Garland asked after the last employee and their guest left the hall.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Skelton. I, I didn't know that guy was going open his envelope," Patty said.

"Hmm? Oh! Oh, no, no, I'm not, I don't blame you for that," Garland smiled. "I, I'd just like to spend a few minutes with you. If that's all right?"

"Yeah, that, that's all right," Patty agreed. "Just let me send my step-father a text, okay?"

"Just make sure she's at the mall by nine tomorrow morning, Craig whispered as the two men shook hands.

"Maybe. We'll see," Garland said and the two men smiled.

Garland gave the girl one thousand dollars in cash. Patty reminded him that it was supposed to be five hundred dollars. Garland patted her on her thigh as he drove toward her step-father's home.

"The uh, that jazz band; they play at the Nova Lounge on Cameron every Saturday night," Garland mentioned.

"Huh? The band that was there tonight?" Patty asked.

"Mm hmm. And, I uh, I enjoyed dancing with you," Garland said, pulling his Mercedes sedan into her step-father's driveway.

"Yeah, that was fun," Patty agreed, smiling.

"So, uh, dinner at the Stone Grill tomorrow, mm, say about eight o'clock? Then dancing?" Garland asked.

"Wait, you, are you asking me out? On a date?" Patty asked, shocked.

"Yeah, yeah I am," Garland admitted.

"Mr. Skelton," Patty started.

"Garland. Please call me Garland," Garland said.

"Mr. Garland, I, you know I'm what, at least half your age?" Patty said.

"More than half my age," Garland agreed. "I'm forty two years old."

"And, you uh, you know I'm pregnant, right?" Patty went on, even pointing to her belly.

"Yes," Garland said. "With my idiot son's baby."

"So...see you about seven thirty? Seven forty five?" Patty asked.

"About seven thirty," Garland smiled.

The kiss Patty gave him was a soft, lingering kiss. Garland got out of the car and assisted her out of the car. Then he walked her to the door. He got a second kiss and a mumbled 'see you later.'

The next evening, Garland showed up at her home at quarter after seven. He introduced himself to Bob Smith, Patty's stepfather and Danielle Smith, Patty's mother.

"Skelton, Skelton, I know I've heard that name before," Bob mused.

"Yes sir. Kevin Skelton is my son," Garland admitted and smiled as Patty entered the room.

"Kevin, the, you me, the little shit that got my Patty..." Bob said, his anger rising.

"Yes sir. That's the one," Garland agreed, carefully watching the man.

"I, I don't like it," Bob said heavily. "Tried to warn her about that...but like everyone says, she's eighteen. She can make her own mistakes."

"You can call him what he is," Garland said, smiling at the man's tact. "He's a selfish, self-centered narcissistic little jackass."

"But you're not like that, right?" Bob snapped, voice accusing.

"I'd like to think I'm different," Garland agreed. "Part of the problem is I was out busting my butt to get the business up and running and that just left too much time for his momma to spoil him."

"Mr. Bob," Patty said, coming to stand next to Garland.

"Yeah, yeah, go ahead," Bob sighed and left the room.

Danielle shot Garland a sympathetic look and followed her husband. Garland took Patty's hand and escorted her from the house.

The meal was excellent. The Nova Lounge stamped Patty's hand with a large 'X' to signify that she was under the age of twenty one. Because he was driving, Garland did not imbibe either, sticking to drinking a soda. But he and Patty spent more time on the dance floor than seated at the small table.

"I, I would like to see you again," Garland said as he drove to her home.

"I, I'd like to see you too," Patty admitted.

To Patty, this was the first time she'd felt the approval of an adult. Her step-father was a good man and a fair man, but he was a very black & white man. He was a rigid man with rigid expectations and Patty knew she'd failed to meet his expectations.

Kevin had been her first real boyfriend. Patty had gone on dates and had even had sex with other boys. And most of these boys openly admitted to Patty that they were hoping for relationships with other girls in their class. They were 'settling' to be with her.

The moment Kevin had sex with Patty, Kevin was done with her. He discarded her, moving on to the next piece of ass.

Garland, however, seemed to be with her because he wanted to be with her. He wanted to be with her and was not pestering her for sex. At the Christmas party, Patty had seen some of the employees, some of the servers making overt suggestions, obvious passes at Garland; and why not? He was a handsome and sophisticated older man.

Patty deduced that having money, plenty of money also helped Garland's appeal to some of those women. His money meant nothing to Patty. Kevin's money had meant nothing to her; she just hoped for a boy that would like her.