My fiftieth birthday, the big five-O, I was so determined to treat it like any other day, "It's just a number." I said to myself speaking out loud as I stepped out of the shower, wrapped a bath towel around me, tucked it into my cleavage and walked back to my bedroom across the short landing. Reality soon disillusioned me as I removed the towel from my naked body in front of the wardrobe mirror.
"Good Lord Eleanor, the gal ain't what she used to be," I said with a grimace and turned quickly away to find my clothes and get dressed.
I made my way downstairs and entered my living-room, I had was just about getting used to living alone in the house that I once shared with my husband and where we were so happy, bringing up our daughter, but Sandra was now happily married, living not too far away with her husband Peter.
I made a cup of tea, one sugar and the toast jumped out of the toaster just as the phone rang; it was Jean a friend from my schooldays who also lives nearby. I put the portable handset to my ear and quickly pulled it away again as the voice on the other end bellowed, "Happy birthday Eleanor," Jean always had a loud telephone voice. I crooked the phone between my shoulder and my ear and started to put a thin skim of butter on my toast, just two slices, then put them on a small plate before sitting in my favourite chair.
"So what does being fifty feel like?" Jean continued clearly enjoying ribbing me over my age.
"Well, it felt just fine Jean until you phoned," I replied, she laughed.
"Look Eleanor, me and Maureen wondered if you would come out tonight and celebrate, you know just a quiet drink at the local pub, just the three of us."
Maureen and her husband lived two doors away from Jean, she was a big woman, always had a weight problem, but I did envy her long - always shiny - black, shoulder-length hair, I have a weight problem myself but when I am in Maureen's company she always makes me feel slim. Jean is the opposite, small and petite, a red head like me, she's very pretty and is a few years younger than Maureen and has an infectious smile and tends to be great fun.
"OK," I said, "what time?"
"We thought about eight o'clock, is that alright?"
"Fine, I will come around to yours we can meet up there."
"Great Eleanor, see you then," and she hung-up.
Before I had finished eating my toast and drinking my tea the phone rang again. This time it was Sandra, she always calls just before setting off to work.
"How's the fifty-year old today?"
"Not you as well," I said, "I have just had Jean on the phone rubbing it in."
"Anyway, happy birthday Mum." She said before asking me how I was.
I told her I was fine and that Jean and Maureen had invited me out for a few drinks.
"Oh, that should do you good, are you going?"
"Yes, of course, I am actually looking forward to it. I will need to go out and get something to wear and have my hair done."
"Good for you Mum, I might come and join you all, and you never know you might just get yourself a bloke."
"We are all meeting at eight o'clock at Jean's and by the way, no thanks, I am allergic to men, thank you very much."
She giggled and said, "OK I will believe you where thousands wouldn't, see you at eight o'clock."
"Don't be late." I said, making it sound like an instruction knowing her track record where punctuality is concerned.
"I'll be there." She said, "Enjoy your birthday Mum."
I put the phone down and finished what remained of my toast and tea. I completed my usual chores and got ready to go into town, catching the local bus, Saturdays are always busy, the shops were full but eventually I found a lovely blue dress, treated myself to a new, white bra and matching panties, then to the hairdressers for my hair done before catching the bus home again.
Around six-thirty I started to get ready, out of my old clothes, washed and dried. I again stood in front of that damn mirror in my bedroom and let the towel drop to my feet. I can't help looking, hoping it will be better than last time. "God my thighs look fat." I said talking to the image of myself that stared back at me glumly.
Turning around and looking over my shoulder I didn't like my bum any better than my fat thighs which met at the top, I could see the cellulite on the cheeks of my fat backside and the backs of my thighs and sighed for the days when they were really young, smooth and shapely. Wolf-whistles, how long is it since I've had one of those -- never mind.
To think I used to roll my eyes up and tut whenever I got a wolf-whistle. I would probably do the same now, mustn't let them think you like it.
Sitting on the edge of the bed I pulled on my new large knickers, stood up and wriggled my bum into them, I put on the new bra, fastening it at the front under my bust then pulled the cups around to the front squeezing my boobs into them before heaving the straps over my shoulders. The blue dress, which I hadn't tried on before buying it, fitted perfectly, I felt sure it would.
Should I put some tights on? I toyed with the idea and decided it might be best. So again I sat at the bottom of the bed and slipped the tights over my feet and started to pull them up, over my knees, one of my better points, at least they are still round and shapely, then came the twinge right in the hollow of by back just as my black tights were about half way along my thighs.
I have had that same twinge before. I stood up and could feel a dull ache in the small of my back. With my blue dress pulled up to my waist I managed to pull my tights up over my knickers without too much trouble then smoothed my dress back into place.
As I made my way down stairs the dull ache brought back memories of when Tom was ill, he had died three years earlier and lifting him in and out of his wheelchair had caused a problem with my back that every now and again plagues me. Although I could feel it I was still moving freely enough and decided it was not going to stop me going out and enjoying myself.
Everyone turned up at Jean's. Sandra was a bit late as usual but only a few minutes. We all walked to the local, it was pretty empty but that didn't matter, we just wanted a few drinks and a good old chin wag.
We found a table and sat around in a group talking about the usual things, family, children, grandchildren and so on. Everyone commented on my new dress which was nice. The only downside to what was a nice evening was the dull, niggling pain in my lower back which was slowly getting worse.
After a visit to the loo, where I again had trouble pulling my panties and tights up, I returned to the table and very gingerly lowered myself into my seat. I was beginning to wish I had stayed at home, but the last thing I wanted to do was spoil what had become a very pleasant evening for the others.
It was Maureen who noticed my discomfort and said, "Eleanor you look to be in a lot of pain."
"Yes, I have pulled a muscle in the small of my back getting my tights on just before I came out and it is tightening up."
"Shall we get you back home?" Jean asked sympathetically.
"Oh no, I will be alright, anyway I am enjoying myself, it is my birthday you know."
The women laughed and had one more drink each.
You could do with seeing our Steve about that back of yours." Maureen said
Steve is Maureen's son, about the same age as Sandra, roughly about 25 or so.
Sandra and Steve had been at school together and sometimes when they were babies Tom and I would babysit them both while Maureen and Bill, her husband, went out and they would repay the favour. Steve was a lovely lad and had grown into a fine, good-looking young man. I had completely forgotten about him being a chiropractor until Maureen just reminded me.
"He is very good and gives a good massage." Maureen continued.
"Eh, I don't care how good he is he is not massaging my body." I said and the women laughed especially when Jean piped up with, "Steve can massage my body anytime he likes."
"Me too," Sandra took up the theme.
"Steady on girl, you are spoken for." I reminded her.
We all went home feeling rather merry from the few drinks we had consumed.
I climbed the stairs and just about made it the bedroom. Unzipping the back of my dress was a major problem but eventually I did. I pulled it over my head not wanting to bend down and pick it up off the floor. There was that damn mirror again, that's got to go I thought as I stood there in matching white bra and knickers with my tights pulled up to by belly. I rolled them down over my fat backside along with my knickers then slowly sat on the edge of the bed and taking my time managed to get them off and tossed them on the floor in a ball.
The clip of my bra easily came around to the front after dropping the straps. My bra ended up on the floor with my panties and tights. It was bad enough trying to get through the considerable pain barrier without seeing my saggy tits flop out.
"God Eleanor girl you look fifty." I said as I got into my nightie and eased myself onto the bed and tenderly rolled myself under the sheets. Once in bed the pain receded somewhat and I fell asleep.
The sleep was fitful; I was awake at 7.00am and struggled even more to get my clothes on. My back was definitely getting worse by the minute.
"Never mind fifty," I mumbled "you are a bloody old woman with a worn out body and too many wrinkles for your own good, and now I am nothing but an old crock. " I need a damn good pick-me-up before I get too depressed, I thought.
What was it Sandra had said? "You never know you might just get yourself a bloke." That's a laugh and pigs might fly.
By nine o'clock the pain was increasing and I knew I had to do something. In desperation I phoned Maureen.
"Maureen I think I am going to need your Steve, do you think he can help?"
"What for his favourite Aunt? Of course he will but he is at work and won't be home until five, can you manage until then?"
"I'll do my best." I said, but I could have done with a bit more urgent treatment.
Steve had always called me Aunt ever since childhood and he still does. Now he is a handsome man with a shock of blonde hair, he is tall and I always thought that he and Sandra would someday get together, I couldn't understand why they never had because I would have thought he could have had any woman he wanted and Sandra is also quite gorgeous, but it never happened. Steve has never married but there is always a string of attractive young females queuing up.
At five-thirty the phone rang.
"Hello Aunt Eleanor, what's fifty feel like?"