October 20, Tuesday evening
"Why do I let him talk me into these things?" Jason told the man who looked back at him in the mirror. He shook a finger at him, "You're such a sucker, you fall for it every time.!" 'You need to get out there more, Jason.' John O'Donell had urged. "You'll never meet anyone stuck in your house night after night, Jason." Bill Walker had chimed in. "Get out and do things, meet new people, Jason." They both told him. "What a crock of shit!" Jason said to the man looking back at him.
"What I need is new friends who mind their own fucking business!" Jason Wheeler said out loud. Judith's cat sat in the doorway and blinked slowly, her long tail swaying luxuriously back and forth. "You wouldn't push me into going out when I don't want to, would you Mrs. C?"
'No, you wouldn't!" He said. The cat gave no indication that she knew what he was saying or gave a damn. She was completely oblivious to being part of the conversation.
"I better hurry," he thought. The volunteer information sheet told him to show up for a rehearsal at 6:30 and it was already 6:05. A sense of doom fell upon him like a heavy blanket. He could have stayed home and watched a game on TV...he wasn't a real sports fan but he thought it might be a good time to start. One of his favorite teams must be playing somewhere and if they weren't maybe he could start watching a new team.
He reached into the drawer for a hair brush and pulled out one of Judith's by accident. His wife of 28 years had died two years ago but not before breaking his heart, ruining their memories - HIS memories of her.
He thought of her as he brushed and styled his hair. They had been unhappy a long time and Jason hadn't known why. They didn't talk much, they didn't have sex either, they were just room mates. He had loved her more than life itself at one time, but over the years their love had faded or her's had at least. Jason had always hoped that they could rekindle their romance which had been extraordinary in the beginning but that hope was dashed one evening when Judith had told him she wanted a divorce.
"I want to make it clear, I am not cheating on you," she had reassured him, "but I have fallen in love with Shannon and I want to be free to pursue that relationship."
"Shannon...? Shannon Germaine your Yoga instructor?" He asked incredulously, "I thought that Shannon was a woman?"
"Yes, she is."
"Wait...what? A woman?...but..."
"Yes," said Judith plainly, "I'm in love with a woman. Jason, I have had these feelings for as long as I can remember. I thought they would go away when I matured and married and had the children, but they haven't. I finally had to admit to myself and now to you that I am a Lesbian. I want to be happy, Jason and you deserve to be happy, too. Please don't fight with me. My mind is made up and I can't be dissuaded.
Jason remembered the pain he felt that evening but he also remembered how within 24 hours he had reconciled himself to the terrible condition to which their relationship had fallen and he realized, at last, that this was finally a reason that made sense of their failure. Maybe he could find some happiness. At 52 he wasn't so old that he couldn't maybe find a woman with whom he could spend his remaining years.
They were never to get their divorce though. A few days later, Judith was on the way to her Yoga class, crossing the Harbor Bridge when a run-away barge rammed into the north piling causing it to collapse. The tarmac buckled causing a semi truck to tip on its side right onto Judith's car crushing her. She died at the scene never getting to even tell Shannon she was being set free.
Jason was devastated at her death. He had still loved her in spite of their long struggles. And she was the mother of his two daughters after all! The girls were grown, married and lived out of town but still, no one could fill that void in their lives.
Nearly a year later a settlement was made between Jason's insurance company and the owners of the barge and semi, which happened by chance to be from the same transport company. They had numerous safety violations in their history and Judith's death by their negligence was penalized, heavily. Though Jason neither sought it, nor encouraged it, he ended up with sufficient funds to pay off the mortgage on the house and buy a new Lincoln Navigator pus some funds stashed away for another rainy day.
Judith's death was 2 years ago and still he felt the sting of that loss. He had planned to retire when he had thirty years in the teacher retirement system and that he did. Judith had died just a month after he had retired. He had a lot of plans for his retirement but her death had knocked the wind out of him and now he had fallen into a rut of just doing...nothing. He hadn't done any of the things he had hoped when he retired. He hadn't met any one he wanted to include in his life, in fact, he rarely even left the house other than to buy groceries and necessities.
His friends John O'Donnell and Bill Walker had tried everything they could to get him out and about but he had largely dodged their efforts... until today.
"Damn! I should have just told him 'no'!" He said again to the man in the mirror. But it was too late now, he had committed himself and he was without excuse. He had to go.
He had received a list of basic instructions in the mail a few days back. "Dress lightly," said the list of instructions giving "heavy and hot costumes" as the reason.
"Shit! I'll probably be put in an ape costume or some other damn thing," He complained.