During the time I worked with Peter O'Neill on the suburban improvement project, he hosted barbecues at his home. All the families were invited. There were Peter and his wife, Dianne, their sons Mark and Paul, along with me and my husband, Ron and our son, Ryan and Clive Wishart with his partner, Cindy. They were good days and I found out at the first BBQ that all three boys go to the same school β not surprising in a small town.
Some months after the barbecues, I met Dianne, Peter's wife, in a large shopping mall in Hopetoun. She asked me if I had time for a coffee and a sandwich with her. I accepted her offer and we found a quiet restaurant. Unlike Peter, she had to ask for a table. We ordered and chatted as we waited for our meals. She told me Peter hasn't stopped talking about me since he met me at the council meeting almost a year earlier.
"Peter has the belief that Fate has a hand in how our lives work out, he believes it was Fate that brought you and him together. He likes the way you work and your enthusiasm," she told me. I thanked her for her kind words, but explained,
"Dianne, he has undersold himself. I was at the meeting to see what I could find out as a journalist, to try to break into the local newspaper scene in some way. It was he who saw the potential I had, not me; I was feeling lost in a world of seemingly important people. I attribute my interest in the project to Peter when he painted a lovely word picture of how it will be when it was completed."
"Oh yes, he does that all right. I have been the recipient of many word pictures for ornate bridge designs, road widening and the occasional tunnel projects that come his way. He is good at his work, but I really don't need to know every detail of the lace-work of a bridge railing. But as a wife, I listen. Yes Wendy, I can understand how he brought you into his dream. I bet that is what he called it. Didn't he?" Dianne waited for my response.
"Yes, he did. Until I met Peter, I didn't know what it was to have dreams that you could believe in. He was very good at sharing his ideas. I have to say, Dianne, that after meeting him I am having dreams, some of which have come true. I attribute them to Peter's explanation of needing to believe in yourself and make them come true. To be positive, which I lacked before meeting him, I have thanked him for that, many times. You have an exceptional husband, you are so lucky." I meant every word I told her, although some of them not in the same context she believed them to be.
"Oh Wendy, I can see you have been drawn in under his spell. Sometimes I would like to have just an ordinary husband; not one who is always thinking and planning into the future. I think it would be nice."
I reached my hand out and placed it over hers on the table, "No, Dianne, you would not like it. Believe me. My husband, Ron, is an ordinary man. He has negative comments about everything and all that I do, my work β even with the wetland project. When I told him I had met Peter who had some great ideas for the wetlands near Jackson Boulevard, he said, 'Why? That's a dump. Just let it be; it can't be fixed.' That was the most interest he has in anything I do. No, Dianne, you want Peter. I think that every job to him is a new world that he can share with you. You don't want one like my Ron, I can assure you." She looked taken aback.
"Wendy, can I share something with you, please? It's something very personal. I had been hoping to see you shopping here one day, so I could talk with you. I don't want you to say anything to anybody, but I want to ask you a very serious question. Can I, please?" The expression on her face changed to deadly serious and for a moment I thought I was dead! Was she going to ask about Peter and me? What did she know? What had she found out?" I had no choice, but to let her share whatever it was and face the consequences, if she asked that question.
"Dianne, what is it? You look so serious. Has something bad happened?" I needed a clue before I was in too deep. Dianne's expression changed back to friendly.
"No, it's personal, rather than serious, but I don't know anyone I can trust for an answer, but I think you have been involved with people's lives more than me, and I hope you won't tell anyone. Can you do that, Wendy?"
"Of course, I can keep secrets. I have been doing that for a long time now. I value people's privacy, so nothing of whatever you say will be forwarded to others, I can promise you that. But what comes into that category in your world, Dianne?"
She leant forward across the table to me, and in a voice barely audible, she said, "I have a lover." I gulped.
I wasn't expecting that! I tried to be as quiet as she was when I whispered to her, "What do you mean?"
"I have a lover." She repeated her answer and paused to let me absorb it. "He's a young man in his twenties. He's lovely and so attentive," she told me. I was dumfounded and relieved, both at the same time.
"Dianne! How? How? I mean, how did it happen?" I didn't know what to say or where to start. "I am stuck for words, Dianne. Please explain how that all happened." I was trying to sound surprised, but my surprise was focussed on her taking a lover. I didn't think she was the type to do anything like that, but you just don't know with some people.
"Oh Wendy, I have shocked you, haven't I? I'm sorry, but I needed someone to talk to," she explained.
"That's OK. It's not that I don't think women have lovers, but because it was you saying it, I was shocked by your admission. Are you happy, or do you want to end it?"
"It happened a while ago and I have been agonising ever since then about what is right and what is wrong with me having sex with a younger man." It was a strange explanation, but at least the story was becoming clear. I nudged her along by adding, "I am not judging you, Dianne, but has this affair been going on for long?" I asked as calmly as I could.
"You know him. He was at the barbecues Peter had at our house for that project you were working on. It's Clive Wishart." The words hit me like a whack on the head. I wondered how it could have happened.
"Yes, I do. He did the excavation work for the wetlands project. He is very good-looking and well-built. Right? I had to work closely with him to get the digging done, he doesn't like what he calls office work. Yes, I know Clive," I confirmed.
There was a silence. I looked at her and thought for a moment before I spoke, "Well, having sex with a younger man is something I dream of. I think it would be great. It must be every woman's dream, but few of us are that lucky. Is it really true?" I was still tossing over in my mind how the unlikely association between a sophisticated woman like Dianne and a simple-living, working man like Clive came together. It reminded me of Lady Chatterley's Lover, to be honest. I needed to know more, so I asked her.
"How long has this been going on? Has it developed to you fucking him?" I asked straight out. Beating around the bush was not going to do it.
"Yes, it has been going on for some weeks now, and yes, we are doing what you just said. It's been many times now. When Peter is not home, obviously." She was looking down as if she was ashamed of what she was saying.
"Dianne, you are a lucky girl. It is a dream I have had, but not fulfilled. I know many married women who talk of such things, but only as fantasy, you have made it real. So, what is your problem, Dianne?" I tried to sound convincing.
Dianne, looked at me and said, "I don't know if I am satisfying him. I don't want him to stray. I have never felt as alive as I do when he is inside me and holding me off the ground." My mind tried to take in that image of Dianne being suspended on Clive's cock. Maybe it is something I could try with Clive one day, I thought.
I took her hand in mine and said, "Do you want me to say congratulations, or to caution you about having sex with another man's partner? I am not a counsellor, but a friend. I don't know what to tell you. My brother used to say, 'If it feels good, keep doing it.' I'm not the one to say stop, I think it is great that you have found some diversity in life; another interest, you could say. It has been said by experts, that a change is as good as a holiday. Perhaps this is your holiday time." Just a few clichΓ©s, but ones I hoped would start her thinking. I was thinking that I really would like to try that cock thing with Clive, one day.
She was silent for a while. "Would you like another coffee, Wendy?" I nodded and she signalled the waiter and ordered. "The truth is, he gives me more pleasure and satisfaction than Peter does, I am ashamed to say. He is a true lover. With Peter it is just a fill-in between his thoughts, if at all. You know what I mean?" I didn't really, when Peter was with me he was the antithesis of her notion of him, but I'm not married to him, besides, he has never disappointed me. "Wendy, I am always last in his thoughts. Let me explain something to you. One night he was exceptionally happy and I sensed it might be a chance for sex, so I prepared for some activity in bed. He came to the bed, still seemingly in high spirits and I thought, 'Tonight's the night'. He climbed into bed, came over to me and put his arm over me and said, 'Today was great, Gallagher Engineering have accepted my design for the new sewerage pipeline.' You can't imagine how letdown I felt when he said that; so you can see why Clive's advances were so attractive, can't you?" Indeed, I could.
Our coffee arrived. I watched Dianne put sugar in her coffee, all the time looking down at the table. I touched her hand again, "Dianne, I am not judging you, I'm the last person to do that. I have had affairs with other men's wives in my younger days. I know what it feels like. How does Clive make you feel?"
She turned her head to look at me, "Alive, Wendy. Alive." As she spoke I saw the hint of a smile and the sparkle in her eyes. I could see she was enjoying this newfound interest.
"Dianne, have you ever had extra-marital affairs before? I mean to say, if it is your first time, you may be having misgivings about where it is going and if Peter will find out. My feelings are that you get used to it after the first few times you start an affair. Doesn't Clive have a partner? He did at the barbecues. Is he still with her?"
"No, that's my worry. If he had a partner or a wife, he would still be thinking of her when he wasn't with me. When I am with him, I never think of Peter. It is only after he leaves that I remember I am married to Peter."
"Wow, that's heavy stuff, Di. Do you want it to stop?" She shook her head in a negative gesture. "Then, enjoy it while you have it. Treat it like a flower. You watch it grow, put it in a vase and soon after, when it fades away you throw away the remains. That worked for me in my younger years." Most of what I told her was the truth.