You ever just have a crush on somebody, but know you'll never get the chance to be with them? Yea, I thought that too. It was the year 2020, I had to fly home for my father's funeral. I was sad, very vulnerable. I knew I'd see him; he was my dad's best friend. I've wanted him for as long as I can remember. His smile, his smell, his oblivious mindset. I would flirt and flirt with him and he'd never think twice about it. I'd go as far as wearing a white t-shirt with no bra just to see if he was paying attention, knowing my father would yell at me if he ever knew.
My plane landed and there was his text, "Did you land yet?" my heart skips a beat.
I don't know why during a time like this I'm thinking about this man undressing me. Maybe it's the thought that your husband is in bed, halfway around the world with other women, and has been lying to you the whole time. Maybe this was my time to get even, or maybe what you needed to open your eyes to leave. Maybe both?
"Yes, I did" With a smiley face I send it back.
I got my rental, and I headed right for him. I feel overwhelmed with thoughts. I got there, first was a tight big hug. I haven't smelled or seen him in years. I felt safe at that moment. We talked, everyone else spoke to me and all I could think about was him. I'm a horrible person at this moment. I asked for help at my father's house the next day, knowing he'd offer.
I go to my father's house the next day and start cleaning up. Then I hear him pull up, but I must play it cool. My MIL is over and knows nothing of what her son is doing across the world. Or the revenge playing over and over in my mind. After hours of cleaning and going down memory lane, I offer him a movie or food. The movie was a no go so food it was. We went to the only restaurant open at 8:30 pm on a Thursday during COVID. We sat down and ordered two plates of pasta to share. The phone rings, it's my best friend. When she finds out I'm with him, she's going to blow my cover. She was checking in on me, and before the call could end, she does it, she asks who I'm with. I don't know how to answer the question.
She says, "You're with him aren't you whore".
He laughs and says "Yes, she's with him?"