It had been a little over two months, about a quarter of their entire relationship, since she had seen Stuart, but Leslie still found it hard to get out of bed with any positive energy. She figured it was made harder by the fact she had his star sign on her ankle, and a rose tattoo on her hip that closely resembled the one he'd given her on Valentine's day. There was also the fact she had woken up alone in her rented flat.
When she chose to no longer see Stuart when he said 'I love you' and told her she had to leave her husband if they were to stay together, it seemed like she was back on the path to normality. Sure, she had some permanent marks on her body from her tryst, and she was yet to take out her belly piercing and the ones in her nipples, all of which had stoked such animosity from her husband, but unsurprisingly, not sleeping with her son's bully had made family life easier.
At least, at first, that is. Stuart had seemed to avoid Lewis in the last month they had school together before they entered a period of study leave to prepare for their final exams; Leslie had worried he would have taken out his pain over the break up on Lewis but nothing such came.
There was an incident, two weeks after the split, where Lewis's Facebook account was used to post the video of Stuart fucking Leslie from behind. Lewis had rightly deduced it was Stuart, as Stuart had used the iPhone Airdrop function to anonymously send the video to Lewis just a few days after Leslie and Stuart had made it. He had taunted Lewis when he saw Lewis watching it, telling him the truth of what the video was, knowing Lewis wouldn't believe him. However, it did make him the prime suspect sender, but the school dropped it when there was no evidence, going only as far as giving Stuart a detention for the crass 'joke' he made to Lewis. When the Facebook post happened, the school blocked Facebook from their network, but took no interest in the accusation against Stuart.
Leslie felt guilty at the twinge of excitement she got from knowing Stuart had posted a sex tape of theirs under Lewis's account. Not guilty enough it stopped her watching the video and touching herself, but she restrained herself from messaging Stuart, taking what Colleen said seriously, about accepting its over when it's over.
However, that event, along with the fact the cracks in her marriage did not seem to be healing had eventually led Leslie to suggest she move out, which she did the day of Lewis's last exam. She'd stood by -- well, even helped -- Stuart bully Lewis, so she felt the least she could do for him was not pile on the emotional pressure of parental separation as he finished up his education.
But it had been over a week since then. She had thought that staying away from Stuart was the right decision, but it was increasingly hard to tell herself that, if anything she just wanted to see him more with each passing day. Her boss had been understanding when she turned up a little late or left early once she said she was going through a separation, even offering her days off if she needed it, but she had liked the routine, so she avoided taking too much advantage of the flexibility she'd been given.
Today, however, she knew she was going to cave. She dressed herself for work, and got in her car, but she drove instead to a destination she hadn't seen since April. Pulling up into the Warren's driveway at quarter to 9, she knocked on the door, hoping to see Stuart's face and beg him to speak to her, maybe even agree to meet up with her later, or well... she didn't know, just something, anything.
A face with familial resemblance to Stuart's looked back at her as the door swung open, but it was framed with Colleen's cropped blonde hair, and held a bemused expression.
"I didn't expect a visitor so early in the morning, much less you."
There was a coldness to her voice, but it didn't seem angry or distrustful like she had seen that time Colleen had caught Leslie in the act, just making it clear Leslie wasn't quite welcome here anymore.
"Hey... I was just hoping to see Stuart before I went to work."
"Why?" Colleen's tone was understandably defensive.
Leslie held up her naked ring finger and replied, "I've left my husband, it's been a week but we decided nearly a month ago..."
Colleen firmly interjected, "I won't lie. It was hard to see Stuart sad, what you two had clearly meant something more than I can understand considering your... circumstances. I am grateful for the confidence you gave him in himself, but I think it ended as it should have done."
Her meaning was clear to Leslie. They were both adults, yes Stuart just barely, but Colleen couldn't really stop her from seeing him. However, she wasn't going to take that route, Colleen had a point and was only being so firm because she cared about Stuart.
"Colleen, I just want to talk to him," she pleaded.
Colleen's expression softened slightly, "I can't really stop you, but I can tell you he's not here. Him and his friends went camping yesterday, they're coming back Saturday but he's going to his dad's for a week after that. He won't really be here until next Friday, there's some end-of-year party."
"OK, I can wait."
"Leslie," an apologetic expression came across Colleen's face, "his dad has moved up north for a bit, Stuart's uncle is up there. He's spending some time with his dad because Stuart will be travelling round Australia all summer."
"Oh."
****
Leslie had spent the rest of that day trying not to think about Stuart. She knew she should just move on but that was much easier said than done. By the evening she'd caved again, sending him a message. She had resisted this far sending texts to him as she worried they would be easier to dismiss than a face-to-face conversation. However, with such a short window of opportunity before get be gone for summer, then possibly off to university, had he got the grades required by the three places he had been offered, she felt it was her only opportunity.
The reply she had got back more than a day later was not gushing with a desire to see her like she had hoped, but it wasn't surprising or unexpected.
'U made it clear. U made ur choice. I get y u did, but im not looking to just mess around coz it was too hard for me. Maybe that sounds stupid but im not looking to be led on anymore. Ur gonna have to do something big to convince me ur not just horny for a fuck. Thnx for what we had but its go big or go home.'
She had read it a couple of times thinking it was very final when a second message came in.
'I do hope ur doing ok n stuff. X'
It wasn't overflowing with affection but she knew it meant he really was still open to being with her but not as some secret affair. His trust in her also was most likely eroded by a few messages exchanged just after their break-up where she had suggested they see each other for a bit longer 'while she decided'.
They both knew she was deluding herself at that time, so why would this be any different from his perspective. Truthfully, she was worried that maybe it wasn't different. Was she just lonely?
Well, she had a plan to 'go big' as he'd told her to do. It was a really stupid plan. One she might regret forever. But it certainly qualified as 'going big'.
****
Leslie definitely a weird feeling walking up to a party filled with teenagers. It was a regular venue that had been hired out by some of Stuart's and Lewis's classmates for their goodbye to school party, so at least she wasn't sneaking up to someone's house, but there was no way to explain why she was there in a small wraparound dress and 6 inch stripper heels. The explanation was probably worse than what most people would imagine for themselves.
