Author's note.
This is part one of a two part chapter.
"So...where do we go from here?"
Chris sounded different from what I remembered. The young man had changed in some subtle way that I couldn't at first put my finger on.
It was saturday night and we were parked up in a passing place down a narrow country lane that we both knew well.
Chris had picked me up from the bus station twenty minutes previous and had driven us to this location without any prompting from me.
Our journey here had been quiet, with me making most of the little conversation that had transpired.
Asking questions, how he'd been?... etc.
I told him I'd missed him, but didn't get that same message back initially.
There was no kiss when I got in the car either, that I decided, was going too far and I'd thought better of it.
So it was just a 'hi' and a 'It's so nice to see you' from me.
Things still felt awkward between us and Chris had remained relatively quiet during the journey, only talking to answer my questions.
So now, he had his own question for me, and although it was not the enthusiastic response I'd been vanely hoping for, it was still a step in the right direction.
And an important question, where did we go from here...
To answer it I first apologised again for lying to him in the past about still being married and living with my husband John.
It was sincere and I think it was this heartfelt apology from me that began to reach Chris.
He made eye contact properly for the first time since I'd gotten in the car.
Fortunately the hurt look that I'd seen in him just last week, wasn't present.
And I got my first strong impression of what the difference was with Chris, he looked older, more mature.
After I'd apologised I reached out and took his hand, holding it in both of mine.
Telling him how much I'd missed him and how worried I'd been when he hadn't been in touch.
This too was sincere and Chris knew it, the knowledge that I really do care for him beginning to melt away any anger or hostility towards me that remained.
It is such a relief for me to witness this process unfolding before my eyes.
After telling Chris how worried I'd been he makes a light hearted comment about how I remind him of his mum and how she fusses over him.
And with those words I see him smile for the first time since before delivering my difficult news a week earlier.
This tells me all I need to know. Not waisting the opportunity, smiling back I squeeze his hand and then lean forward slowly, in for a kiss.
He doesn't stop me.
Our lips meet once again, soft and gentle with a hint of underlying passion...
Breaking off I sit back in my seat, admiring the young man before me, I had forgotten just how gorgeous he is.
"I have missed you...are we ok now?...please say yes."
Chris's stubborn reluctance to engage with me on the way here has dissolved and I see the shy, cute young guy I knew so well emerge fully.
He grins and nods then reassures me with a quiet, "Yes."
We both have a lot of questions for each other.
Over the next hour we chat about what has transpired during the past week and our situation.
One of the things I'm keen to know is how his mum Barbara took the news?
It would be very awkward to visit his place if there was any hostility from her.
Chris informs me that she doesn't know what had happened between us, explaining my absence and his low mood because I was ill that week and he was worried about me.
Confiding rather sheepishly that he couldn't tell her the truth because there would have been trouble.
Yes, I get the impression there would, she looks fiery that one, little but tough.
Chris in turn has lots to say of his own, including an apology for behaving the way he had with the silent treatment.
There were questions about John too, including one that stood out... would I ever leave him?
This question made it clear how Chris really felt about me and it was with some difficulty that I explained my feelings.
No, I would never leave John.
But I do care for Chris too and want to be with him, it just has to be secret, and it must be that way.
He seems to understand and accept this, and that leads us back on to his first question.
Looking a little dejected and sporting a downturned smile before asking once more, "Well...now I know....so...where do we go from here?"
Feeling confident by Chris's apparent acceptance of the situation, at last he's under my control again...I sit forward in my seat and make a more direct move in way of answer.
Fixing him with a meaningful look, I lean in for another kiss, this time allowing the passion within me to show the young man how much I've missed him.
Pushing my tongue inside his mouth, sliding sensually up alongside and over his.
I feel the slightest delay of hesitation before he succumbs to his own pent up passion and kisses back forcefully.
It's a long, lingering, breathless encounter that leaves my heart pounding and my desire enflamed.
Breaking off I look deeply into Chris's eyes, while speaking in a soft seductive tone.
"Where do we go from here?...I'll tell you shall I?"
Chris slowly nods, his face red and sweaty, eyes locked with mine.
"We'll keep on seeing each other...our little secret..."
While talking I'm undoing Chris's belt buckle and trousers button.
"....just like before...John won't know and what he doesn't know doesn't hurt him..."
He nods while listening, glancing down at my busy hands then looking around us a little concerned, there are cars passing occasionally.
"....it's kinky when you think about it...right now he believes I'm at my friend's house...but instead I'm with you...don't you sense it?...that naughty feeling?...doing something you shouldn't?"
Chris keeps nodding in silence...I now have the zip down fishing his stiffy out the boxer shorts.
"And does it feel good?"
While saying this I finally have hold of my young boyfriends hot hard on....a fistful of meat.
