John stands watching in the doorway to our bedroom as I get ready for another date with Chris, my very handsome and very shy, new boyfriend.
It was thursday evening and just over a week had passed since my first meeting with him.
Our first date at the café didn't go exactly as planned.
We couldn't have chosen a worse venue, it was very busy and being surrounded by nosy people was not to Chris's tastes.
Being so shy as he is.
The obvious age gap between us proving quite a hit with the mostly elderly 'audience' seated near our table.
However it all worked out ok in the end as I suggested we go for a ride in his car instead, pointing out that it would be more private.
It was clear Chris was very self conscious and didn't feel comfortable enough to open up with me properly in the bustling café environment.
Turned out I was spot on, my idea brightened Chris up no end and we ended up having a long and very pleasant conversation during a ride out into the countryside, parking up and going for a short walk halfway.
And no, I didn't make any move on him.
I was a good girl, I can be good you know....patient too...until the time is right.
There was no way I was going to put him on the spot that first time, even in the privacy of his own car it was clear to me that Chris is inexperienced, and nervous around women.
No, I had to be careful with this one, but I was sure the wait would be worth it.
Our second date, a picnic, was also a big success.
And you'll never guess where he took me?
So deep in conversation with Chris as he drove the car, I hadn't realised where we were heading until pulling into the car park.
As I looked around, surveying the surroundings my mouth dropped open in surprised recognition.
Chris had inadvertently brought me to the nature reserve, it was here recently that we had been forced to flee with Mike, due to the police raid on the dogging site.
As I got out the car I looked across at our 'observation' spot, just yards away behind the fence and bushes.
Oh my.....it was like returning to the scene of a crime.
I actually felt guilty, if only this timid young man knew what I'd been doing?
After the initial surprise I spent the rest of the evening keeping an eye out for Mike, just in case he happened to be out and about.
Despite this however, I still managed to have a lovely time with my young companion.
Chris is a great conversationalist once he's feeling comfortable, and I was very good at putting him at ease.
The nature reserve is truly a beautiful place, we found a nice quiet spot under a large willow next to a stream.
Chris actually reminds me of a young John, there is a resemblance.
It was almost like stepping back in time to when we were first going out.
My clothing on this second date was a little more revealing and I couldn't help but notice the young man's wandering gaze, despite him being very cautious....so sweet to see him blushing when I caught him looking.
We do hit it off, click together so easily.
There is an obvious physical attraction too, despite our age difference... or perhaps more accurately...because of our age difference.
Chris, through our tentative interaction, reveals that he is much more comfortable with 'more mature' women.
His clever use of the description 'more mature' rather than 'older' being appreciated and bringing a smile to my face.
I am after all twice his age, easily old enough to be his mum.
Our third date, after the weekend, sees us becoming more cozy with each other initially.
More personal information is revealed too.
Chris tells me he has had a girlfriend before while in college a couple years back, but strangely, hasn't been seeing anyone since.
I find this hard to believe, someone so handsome?
I do make a point of trying to find out more but Chris clamps up, it appears that perhaps this first girlfriend meant a lot to him?
Perhaps she betrayed him?
I had images of this girl who Chris was in love with, leaving him for someone else.
I was also secretly, very annoyed.
I had my hopes set on him being a virgin and now to learn that some bitch had beaten me to it....
No matter, I had to get past that.
He was mine now and slowly becoming bolder.
At the end of this date, spent partly at a large arcade with a bowling alley and partly in a quiet pub booth chatting over drinks, we kissed for the first time.
We were sat outside the pub in his car, where the conversation had taken on a more intimate tone with Chris explaining, with some difficulty I might add, how much he liked me and how much he appreciated my company.
During a brief silence in his affectionate statement I saw what I thought was an opportunity... and took it.
Leaning in for a kiss on the lips, soft and gentle, yet full of the promise of things to come...
My hopes of a steamy encounter on the backseat were however, to be dashed.
I had made my move too early, possibly as a result of being a little tipsy.
Going in for a second kiss, this time not holding back....I immediately sense reluctance.
Chris goes cold on me and I feel him pulling back.
Letting him retreat I see a look of both anxiety and frustration on his face....it's like he's fighting something.
He wants to, I know that....but something is preventing him.
And I'm certain it's not just shyness.
I do ask the burning question, "What's wrong love?....you alright?"
Chris briefly screws his eyes tight shut and curses, the first time I've heard him swear.
He apologises over and over, saying that it's not me it's him, his fault.
He calls himself stupid and has a right old go at himself.
I do try and get it out of him but he just won't tell me what the problem is.
He clamps up again and the night ends on a downer.
The next day I receive a phone call from Chris and fully expect him to be calling our friendship off.
But instead Chris apologises once more, tells me that I'm the best thing that's happened to him, and that he very much wants to see me again.
Also, he promises an explanation for his odd behaviour.
We arrange another date, right then on the phone, Chris telling me there's a film on at the cinema thursday night he'd like to go see with me.
I agree and that is that....just like that...we're on again.
And that leads me right back to where this started....John lovingly watching me get ready, for my date with a guy half my age.
These little moments between us are always very special.
He likes to watch me getting ready, even though this is several times now with no 'result' it is still exciting for us both.
John's voice suddenly interrupts this quietly erotic moment.
"I still think he might be gay and in denial."
We'd been discussing why Chris couldn't or wouldn't take the plunge with me.
John refusing to accept that any guy could resist me....my hubby is biased!
But I knew he was way out with that idea, and had previously told him so.
Chris isn't gay, I'd recognised the way he looked at me, an old familiar look I'd seen many times before from many different guy's.
He wanted me alright, badly too, but something kept getting in the way.
It was eating me up inside, the tension of not knowing...a sort of squirming, horrid little helpless feeling.
My instinct told me it was something to do with his first girlfriend....but what?
I....we....would just have to wait, hopefully tonight would be the night.
After all, Chris is very young and pumped full of hormones, and if he's telling the truth and hasn't had a woman in well over a year....imagine the frustration boiling up inside of him....
I ignored my husband's comment and continued to finish brushing my hair, then stood up and retrieved my handbag.
Facing John I waited for his approval, wearing a cheeky grin.
He looks me up and down slowly.
Tonight I'm wearing a little black dress.
Although when I say 'little' you should have seen how some of those girls were dressed at the arcade, and the older ones too....left nothing to the imagination....and I'm all about encouraging a guy's imagination....revealing just enough to get him going.
I wore a black lacy bra underneath the dress, and a pair of tiny black undies John had bought me at the weekend.
No stockings, a pair of short heeled black shoes finished it off.
John admires his wife for a moment longer then moves towards me, a wicked look in his eyes...
Holding up a splayed hand between us I stop him, "Ah!....no....you'll smudge my lipstick I've just got it all done."
I do let him have a cuddle instead, I'm not heartless.
During the cuddle John starts to get hard so I have to break it up....with the promise I'll have something warm and hopefully wet for him....when I return.
In the hallway downstairs I do give in and kiss my hubby tenderly on the lips before telling him to please do wait up, and that I have a good feeling about this night.
He nods his understanding, a sly grin spreading across his face before replying, "Go easy on him tiger."
This is undoubtedly a reference to me scratching his back in the shed that previous week.
As we say our goodbyes I receive an expected slap on my rear, making a loud cracking noise and causing a sting of pain.
Looking back briefly as i walk away, narrow eyed, before John closes the door, then out onto the path....and straight into Mrs beaty...a very nosy old lady who lives a few doors down...perfect!
Cursing like a fish wife internally, I'm already a little late but manage to get rid of her in under a minute by saying I'm going to miss my bus.
Yes I am going out, yes without John....why?....because its my friends 40th birthday bash at the big pub in town, no I won't get drunk....honest, and no I won't talk to other men....yeah right.
"Bye love...yes I will....see you later."
Are my external words as we part.
My internal words cannot be repeated, even on here.
This brief encounter with the old girl does however highlight the need for discretion.
I certainly don't want my neighbours, most friends, and definitely family finding out what I get up to in my private life.
There have been a few close calls over the years with people who know me, or at least believe they do.
Recently there had been some near misses.
In fact just on my last date with Chris there was a close call involving an acquaintance at the pub, an acquaintance of the blabbermouth variety.
I had to be more careful.
Anyway, rushing to the bus stop I made it just in time.
Getting into town I'm met by a typically nervous looking Chris, who stands looking about himself awkwardly amongst the crowds at the station.
