I was twenty-seven when I got my first house. My wife Julie and I had been working on finding a place we could afford for almost two years. Finally, however, it came to fruition. There were, of course, all the visits from relatives on both sides. Something about having a new place that makes people think you need houseguests in order to complete the experience.
The first eight or ten visitors didn't bother me. After that, it got a little old. By the time my wife's Aunt Carla decided to pay us a visit, I'd had enough. It wasn't that I didn't like Carla, I did. She was kind of kooky. She was Julie's favorite relative and one she hadn't seen since our wedding.
Now when I say kooky, let me explain. Carla was a high school art teacher. She said that she liked teaching, but also liked having an art related job that allowed her to focus on her own work. Carla had been active as a painter, sculptor, photographer and tapestry maker. I know that she'd sold several pieces over the years, but she seemed to prefer doing what she liked and not needing to support her art by selling it. I admired that.
Carla was certainly intelligent, well-read and widely traveled. The kooky part came from her tastes in films, music and the like. She was kind of the black sheep of the family. As I said, however, she was Julie's favorite, and I knew I had to be understanding about it. At least it wouldn't be one of her stuffy relatives.
At the airport, Julie stood excitedly at the security checkpoint, gazing down the walkway in search of her aunt. I'd kind of forgotten what she looked like since having seen her last, but I knew Julie wouldn't miss her. Finally, Julie called out:
"Aunt Carla! Aunt Carla!" As she waved, I looked past her and spotted a fairly tall, dark haired woman waving back. They met in a hug, all smiles. It was coming back to me now. Carla had a very 'Bohemian' look to her. She made her own jewelry, made a lot of her own clothes and wore no makeup. Her hair was fairly long and on the frizzy side – she didn't seem interested in taming it too much, but it wasn't a rat's nest.
She was the complete opposite of Julie. Julie's petite frame was largely dwarfed by Carla's. Julie was a fair-skinned, blonde with small perky breasts that I had come to love for their sensitivity. Carla was buxom – large, heavy breasts, deeply tanned skin and a large smiling mouth that reminded me a little of Carly Simon. At forty-six, she looked good.
Carla collected a hug from me, told us how happy she was to be seeing us and off we went to baggage claim.
"Look at you, sweetie," Carla said as we glided down the escalator, "you're the old married woman. And here I am, the unmarried, free soul coming to stay in your new house. Makes me feel old."
"I don't think you'll ever be old, Aunt Carla. I don't think you'd allow it."
"You're just about right, dear."
Carla placed a hand on my shoulder.
"How about you, Mike? How've you been? Is my niece taking care of you?"
"Well," I answered, "I'll say only good things until you and I are alone. Then I'll let you in on all the abuse."
Carla laughed and Julie playfully spanked my rear end.
That night, I barbequed steaks and we enjoyed dinner on the patio. Carla had brought Julie a gift – a toe ring. Julie tried it on after dinner. I thought it was a little outside Julie's style, but she seemed to love it. Carla had two on her own toes and modeled them for Julie to compare what she'd gotten for her 'favorite' niece.
"Don't look disappointed, Mike," Carla said, "I've got something for you – I just have to dig it out of my bag."
"You didn't have to, Carla."
"Of course I did. I'm the guest. The guest brings gifts."
Julie and Carla talked late into the night. I had to work the next morning, so I drifted off to bed fairly early. Julie had changed her schedule to work nights while Carla was here – they'd be free to spend the days together. I was to be the host in the evenings. That was fine. Carla expressed an interest in cooking the meals; all I had to do was be there.
When I got home from work the next day, Carla and Julie were still out. I imagined they were shopping and would bring home half of the merchandise in town before they were through. I was nearly right. Three trips from the car to the house and everything was inside.
"Aunt Carla got asked out on a date," Julie told me.
"Oh yeah?" I said, kind of hoping she'd agreed to it – there was a baseball game on I wanted to watch.
"I took his number, but didn't make him any promises," Carla said.
"Why not?" Julie asked her, "He was nice looking for an older guy."
"He was nice looking for any guy," Carla responded, "but I'm not looking for dates. I'm here to see you two."
"What was he, seventy?" I asked with a laugh.
"No," Julie said, "probably fifty or so. You know, Aunt Carla, he might be rich."
Carla waved the whole thing off with a laugh.
An hour later, Julie had a quick bite to eat and headed off to work. She managed the pharmacy at a local urgent care center and her shift would go until 2AM. I knew, however, that she'd be back at it with Carla the following morning. By the time the visit was over, Julie was bound to be wiped out.
The dinner that Carla made was delicious. It was a rice and beans dish with a marinated chicken breast. As we sat there letting our meal settle, Carla lifted her feet onto one of the empty chairs and sighed contentedly.
"You got another toe ring, huh?"
"Oh," she said, "Yeah. Julie wanted to look at some more. I decided to pick this one up. Three, however, is my limit. I know when to call it quits."
We both laughed.
"So what's your pleasure for this evening?" I asked.
"I don't know – whattya got?" Carla said.
"Pretty much anything you like," I said.
"Don't bet on it. You have no idea all the things I like," she said with a wink.
"Julie told me you smoke a little pot now and then," I said.
"Not anymore, teaching and all. They run drug tests on students and teachers."
