The sharp wind bites into my cheek as I stand outside the entrance to Office Depot. Despite how cold it is, I hesitate to go in, shivering in place while staring up at the large building.
This was the first time Sarah and I would be seeing each other since our break up and I didn't know what to expect.
Apprehension fluttered around inside my chest as the store loomed in front of me. Checking my phone, I see that I'm out of time and steel myself before crossing the threshold.
I walk slowly to the break room to clock in, watching discreetly for Sarah. After emerging from the back to take my spot up at the cash register, I finally spot her across the store talking to one of our co-workers.
Her eyes slide from his face to mine and I freeze. We make eye contact for a brief second before she looks away and even from the other end of the room, I can detect the faint look of disgust on her face. My cheeks flush in embarrassment and I scurry forward. I really hope the entire day won't be like this.
"Hey, Leslie," I greet the other cashier working the register alongside me.
"Oh, uh, hey," she mumbles, avoiding eye contact.
I set up the register and the store opens not long later. The first half of my shift ends up being a bit bizarre. Leslie, who is usually very friendly and always engages in conversation, is uncharacteristically quiet the whole morning. I occasionally catch her peeking at me from the corner of her eye while I'm helping a customer or otherwise distracted, a look I can't quite make out on her face.
I also notice a few of my other coworkers glancing in my direction as they whisper quietly to one another while stacking shelves nearby.
By the time my break rolls around, I'm thoroughly aware that something is going on. I rack my brain as I head into the bathroom in the back. Maybe they all heard about Sarah and I breaking up? Several of them knew we were dating, which had caused a few whispers initially, so it'd make sense that they'd gossip about us not being together anymore.
I had just convinced myself this must be the reason when I emerge from the bathroom to hear several voices talking in hushed tones. Quietly, I ease along the wall and slowly approach the source of the chatter.
"...apparently caught him jerking off while watching some fucked up video."
My heart goes still. There's no way. Sarah wouldn't.
"What, like a weird kind of porn movie?"
"Worse. It was a video of his mom banging some guy he went to high school with."
"No fucking way! You're messing with me, I don't believe you."
"I swear to God, I'm not lying. Zoe said Sarah called her the night it happened. Told her everything while balling her eyes out."
"Whoa, that's fucking insane. I always thought he was a weird kid but this is next level fucked up!"
"Wait, it gets even crazier. Apparently this guy used to bully him real badly in high school. Then he moved into the house next door to theirs earlier this year and started sleeping with his mom while she was engaged to some other guy."
"Dude, stop, this is wild. It's like a Greek tragedy or some shit."
"I know right? I almost didn't believe it at first but who would make something like that up? It's just so specific and bizarre."
"You're not kidding. I almost wish you hadn't told me."
"Yeah right. You live for this kind of shit talking."
"Well, you're not wrong."
Their laughter fades as they leave to go back out front. I slide to the ground and put my head in my hands. I can't believe it. They all know.
I sit there feeling ashamed and embarrassed until my alarm goes off, signaling my break is over. Climbing unsteadily to my feet, I lean back against the wall and sigh deeply.
It's ok, I tell myself. You can do this. Just make it until the end of the day. Taking a large breath, I steady myself and head back out into the main area of the store.
The second half of my shift passes by much slower than the first half had now that I know everyone is talking about me. It is much harder than I thought it would be to deal with. Shame passes through me anytime I catch one of my coworkers whispering or casting a glance my way.
I'm so glad when my shift is finally over at the end of the day, but the prospect of facing it all again tomorrow seems so daunting. At the back of the store, I'm grabbing my stuff when a couple of people come in. I hear several of them giggle as they whisper amongst themselves, which makes me want to cry.
I call my manager on the way out and quit. He doesn't seem surprised nor asks for a reason why, giving me a good indication that he knows as well.
I glance back only briefly at the facade of the building as I make my way through the parking lot to the bus stop. Waiting in the cold as night settles around me, I see Sarah emerge, heading for her car.
As she stops to place some items in the trunk, she notices me watching her from the sidewalk. We make eye contact again, and we stand for a brief moment, staring at each other before she looks away and gets in her car.
I'm listless the entire bus ride home, staring out the window at the city as it passes by. Dinner is on the table by the time I push my way through the back door.
"Oh, just in time, sweetheart," mom greets me.
Her and Stanley were their usual selves throughout dinner and mom only addresses my sullen mood once she was done eating.
"I had to quit my job today," I tell her after she asks what was wrong.
Stanley rolls his eyes at the opposite end of the table before sighing loudly.
"What happened?" Mom asks.
"It just wasn't working out."
"How wasn't it 'working out'?" Stanley emphasizes heavily.
"My coworkers... were hard to get on with."
Stanley throws his hands up in frustration as mom leans toward me.
"Sweetheart, is this because of Sarah?"
"No, mom, it isn't," I say with conviction, but I could tell she doesn't believe me.
"That's two jobs in six months, Kyle," Stanley reminds me in a stern voice.
