I
When Russell returned home for the summer after his second year of university, he was expecting some nice family time with his parents. Instead, Denise had to hit with him with some life changing news considering her and his father -- her partner.
"What do you mean you're separating?!" he outraged.
She tried to sound comforting, but her voice didn't hint at any pain. Truthfully, she didn't have any beyond perhaps what her son was going through. "These things happen, Russ. We really couldn't avoid it. Your father and I just don't connect as we used it."
Russell looked to his father, Richard, who was tense and quiet. "Dad...?"
"Sorry kiddo, sometimes life doesn't go as you expected it."
"I don't get it...how could this happen? You guys looked fine at Christmas. Why didn't you say anything then?"
Denise continued to carry her calm, reasonable tone, "We didn't want to burden your year. And we've gotten pretty good at putting on faces over the years."
"You mean this has been going on a long time?!"
"We kept our problems from you to protect you. But now that you're older, we have no reason to hide it - I have no reason to hide it."
Russell shook his head. "No. I don't believe this. You two love each other. And you should've told me before." He looked to his father again to say something. Something to fix things. He had his hands in pockets, his posture slumped over, and his vision not targeted at either one.
Denise also looked to her husband and knew he wasn't going to speak. Instead, she did, "Regardless of whether we should've given you warning, it wasn't your decision. As hard as it is to hear, you wouldn't have changed anything."
Russell put his hands on his head. "This is nuts," he proclaimed, dropping them again to look at his parents, "You just need to talk it out...go to one of those marriage counsellors or something."
"Honev," Denise started she rubbed his arm, "I know this is hard for you. Believe me: that ship has sailed. We can't go back."
She watched as he said nothing, opting to look down at the floor. The tiles were new. She would have to talk about the renovation with him as well. For now they were caught in some silent tension-filled moments.
Russell's father was the first to break the silence. "I should get going. I'll see you soon, Russ."
He lifted his head. "Wait, where are you going?"
"I'm staying with your uncle for now."
"What? No. You can sleep in the basement or something until you two work things through. This is just a blip."
His dad faintly smiled and touched his shoulder, squeezing it a bit. "We'll talk soon." With that, he turned to leave. He shared a mute exchange with Denise and then left the room.
She and Russell heard him walk through the creaky front hallway. With the thump of the front door behind him, he was gone. They stood in silence for a moment before Russell's mom perked at him.
"So, what would you like for dinner? You must be starved after driving here this morning!"
A half hour later she called Russell down, who entered and sat down without a word. She watched as Russell fumbled with his food, loosely fitting and refitting the grains of rice on his fork. It was just the two of them at their circular dinner table now. That would admittedly take some getting used to on her part, too.
Normally she could look to her right and see her former partner sitting between them. They changed their seating years ago. Denise wondered if Russell suspected it was because they didn't want to look across the table to see the other person looking back. Things had gotten that bad.
"You like the cupboards?" she asked, breaking the ice.
"Yeah, they look OK."
"How about the countertops? They're granite."
"They're good, Mom. I hope they came out like you wanted," Russell said. There was annoyance in his voice. He must've been thinking how rich it was that she was asking his opinion after the fact -- just like not saying a word about her divorce.
Then Russell dropped his fork, making it clang on the plate. "I don't get it...why now?"
"The work on the kitchen? Well, it needed some updating..."
He shook his head. "No, you guys deciding to not be...together."
"I told you, it was just timing. We did it for you."
"You've been together for 17 years," he urged once more.
"There were some very unhappy years, Russell. Your dad and I weren't getting along for a long time."
"But you should've talked or gone to see a professional," Russell pleaded.
"Your Dad was too stubborn to go. He was convinced that nothing was wrong and it would've been a waste of money." Denise took a drink of water. "Plus I don't think it would have done any good either."
"What do you mean?"
"Some situations are unfixable," she said. When it looked like he still didn't get it, she tried to explain with a reality check, "Happy endings don't always happen."
Denise was cognisant enough of her words and the disparaging effect on her son. To be sure, she was unapologetic about how she felt about the situation. But to spare his feelings any further, she didn't try to justify herself any longer. The other only words she would utter were to offer him more dinner.
"Seconds...?" she asked, holding up a Pyrex.
The next morning, Denise stretched her body out in her king sized bed. Her arms met the emptiness occupying the space next to her. The vastness of her king sized bed was becoming more familiar with each day away from her spouse, although some days she just forgot altogether. "Oh yeah," she yawned, smiling to her herself.
Upbeat and peppy, she swung her long legs off the bed and hopped into the shower. She was singing too! She never used to sing. The water rained on her body, trailing down her modest chest, taut stomach, and powerful thighs. Denise was by no means a model, but she kept herself in great shape. Her body a product of her Dutch roots, she lathered her strawberry blonde tresses and washed her statuesque frame. In a former time, the mom made active use of her body, but those were indeed days gone by. Stepping out of the shower, she dried her strawberry blonde hair and picked out her outfit for the day.
She continued her tune as she glided down the stairs, her floral sundress floating along with her. When she entered the kitchen, she found Russell hunched over a bowl of oatmeal. There wasn't a lot of her in him. Most notably, he took his father's brown hair and eyes, and his height didn't seem to come from her side of the family tree. She saw him do a double take as she passed by him.
"Gooood morning!" she sang as she went into the fridge and took out a low fat yogurt.
It was a week since the family's meeting and Russell was, understandably at this point, very moody and angry with her. With the look he flashed at her, he was now very confused as well. "Morning...Mom..."
Denise pulled the lid off, licking the peachy residue. "What are you up to today?"
"I was going to go to the library and send out some resumes," Russell told her. Being back at home meant he would have to make some money to prepare for the school year.
"Want me to give you a ride? I'm heading out too."
Russell cocked his head. "Where are you going?"
"I have to take the car in for some maintenance. The brakes have been acting weird lately and I want to see if it's something serious."
"OK," Russell said. He would have asked more, but he didn't care enough. "No, I'm going to head out a bit later."
Denise shrugged, scooping the last of the snack between her lips. "Suit yourself. I'm going to go upstairs to finish getting ready."
Working her way into the hallway, she headed back upstairs and positioned herself in front of her bedroom vanity mirror. She was light with the makeup -- some skin cream, blush, and mascara -- but it was enough to make her feel beautiful. At 38, she still had a lot of her looks. She had to rely on herself for assurance of that. Russell's father wasn't big on showing appreciation toward her. Today, she did feel beautiful and wanted to show to the world.
For finishing touches, she strapped on a pair of earthy sandaled pumps and slung her purse over her arm. Her feet clattered on the stairs and she headed down the foyer to the front entrance, past her son who was still working on his breakfast. She called out to him as she pulled the door shut behind her. She wouldn't see him sigh and shake his head before continuing with his breakfast.
Spring was here and it was a sunny, breezy day - nice enough to allow the window down a crack, anyways. She turned on the radio, finding a top 100 station, and sang along to the songs as she drove along.
At a red light, she noted again the thumping coming from the front of her car. Richard usually handled the servicing of their vehicles. She told him about the issues in her car, but he never got around to it. With him out of the picture, she would have to handle it herself.
She also saw a driver next to him, a 20-something boy look her up and down and smile. She smiled giddily back. Looking beyond him, there was a similarly aged girl in the passenger seat distracted on her phone. His girlfriend most likely. As the light hit green and she pulled away, the grin on her face got bigger.
Eventually turning into her destination, the mechanic -- a stereotypical pudgy looking fellow with lots of hair - ushered Denise into the garage and then out of the car. He asked what she needed and she explained. As she did, she caught in her peripheral vision a young man working on one of the other vehicles. The man had a quick look and then reported his findings to Denise.
"Yup, your brake pads are pretty worn out and there might be a bit of loose wiring. I'll let our apprentice Sean to take a look. Hey Sean!!!"
The young man she noted before emerged from behind a hood. The older man called him over and he stood in front of them. Denise looked at him as he took her in. He was taller than his older mentor with a broad upper body and a fit body overall. Well, she had to guess on the latter point on account of his stained blue coveralls.
He brushed his dirty blonde hair as he addressed him, "Yeah?"
"Take a look at the brakes and let me know what you see," the elder mechanic instructed.
Sean did as he asked. As he bent down to examine the car, Denise examined him. She couldn't shake that she might have seen him before, possibly at Russell's school. Yes, she had seen him! In front of the school once when she was picking up or dropping off her son. She saw the horsing around before Russell got in the car. She and the boy made eye contact for a brief moment before Russell urged her to go.
"Brake pads need replacing it looks. That engine might need a look, too," Sean reported, standing up and wiping his oily hands.