Bob Wants a Date
Joe E Hartley
December 2021
A reader requested this story and I must admit I had trouble with all the restrictions he placed on me for this piece. I satisfied all of his criteria and it did turn out to be an interesting piece. What do you think?
joeehartley
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After Bob's wife of thirty-five years died of a fast-growing cancer, he felt lost. He no longer showed the drive at work he had before; the drive that had advanced him to floor manager. He had enough seniority to retire and his pension would make sure he would not have to cut back on standard of living.
He tried to stick it out at work until the normal age of retirement, but six months after he buried his wife and several months short of his 65th birthday, he filled out the paperwork to retire.
He needed a change to clear his head, so he drove to his favorite mountain to lose himself in a week-long hike with a group of fellow nature lovers. It helped, as he knew it would and when he returned home to his empty house, he knew he would be able to start his new life.
He was not a man who liked to be alone and he needed someone to warm his bed on those long, lonely nights. The friends that he had known when he was only half of a couple had stopped coming around to check on him and the aloneness surround him like a cold blanket. He tried to check out the local bars, but he had never been into the bar scene and didn't know how to play the pick-up games.
Bob decided to learn how to navigate the bars and clubs. There were dozens of clubs and bars that offered some promise. He eliminated the ones with the twenty-dollar drinks and young men wearing suits he could not afford. He knew that he'd have to give each one a fair shot and planned on hanging out for several weeks at each so he could get a feel of the clientele.
After a year he had found that most of the women at these bars were not interested in older men and his frustration grew. He shifted his focus to the neighborhood bars and at least found women who would talk to him.
He felt the depression rising and noticed that the holidays were the worst. There were fewer single women in the bars and he turned to porn. He discovered that he did like younger women and also that for some unknown reason he found women's feet erotic.
He would often just go to the mall to watch the women walk by and after two years had to admit that the bar scene was not working for him.
He joined every senior group he could find, but did not want to spend his days playing Bingo. He hiked often to relieve the stress and on the four-year anniversary of his wife's death, one of his hiking buddies suggested he try an online dating service.
Bob went home and did an online search of dating sites. He filled out several profiles and was honest about his age, appearance, and interest. He did not comment on his growing addiction to porn. He wanted a woman younger than him, but not the 30 somethings he found at the bars and not the geriatric set he found at the senior center either.
He outlined the woman he was looking for as athletic, 40-45 years old, and a nature lover.
He posted his profile in the four sites that looked the most promising and started to contact the women whose profiles looked interesting to him.
Over the next month he continued to go to a bar or two every week and engaged in a few senior activities. He had to admit that for an ever-increasing amount of time he was scrolling though porn sites. He found that the women on these dating sites, like the women he tried to talk to in the bars were not interested in older men, most were actually looking for a sugar daddy and he wasn't wealthy enough to fill that role.
Sarah checked her inbox under her profile as she did every morning. She was lonely after the divorce three years ago and was becoming more and more isolated. Her ex was a lawyer who she had supported while he finished law school. She married young and quickly had two boys who grew up in their father's shadow. They were grown now and each had a wife to support them, just like their father had, while they studied to take the bar exam. Neither of her sons were interested in their mother--she did not have enough money or contacts to help them.
She perused the profiles of the men who contacted her through the dating site, and found the same pattern she saw every morning--a bunch of twenty-year old's looking for a mommy figure, but hot. They called her a MILF. She knew she looked good and actually enjoyed the compliment, but she was not interested in playing out some kid's sexual fantasy. What about her sexual fantasies?
She knew she didn't want another hot shot man ready to make his mark on the world. She wanted someone a bit older and stable. Money was not key to her, but she didn't want to support a gigolo either. She had a hard time admitting it at first, but after talking to all of these young men who wanted her to be their mommy, she finally acknowledged that she wanted a daddy. She wanted someone to hold her and tell her she was special. Someone she could look up to and could be there for her when she needed advice.
She decided as she did once a week or so over this last year on this dating site, to check out a few of the profiles. She modified her search to men over 60 and not wearing a suit, or, for that matter, not holding a fish, or standing next to some flashy car.
She immediately rejected the first dozen profiles mostly because they all looked like they belonged in a nursing home. The old adage came to mind that she's heard from several women on these dating sites that most of the older guys were only looking for either a purse or a nurse.
She was ready to give up when she spotted Bob's profile.
His photo was unpretentious. It seemed more real than the majority of the male profile pics she saw. He did appear to be fit, but did have the typical dad bod. She read his profile and saw that he was 68 years old, but unless his was a much older picture he could easily pass for someone ten years younger. He claimed to enjoy hiking and maybe that's why he appeared so healthy without looking like the body builders who almost lived at the gym.
He said he was a widower and was looking for someone to help chase away the loneliness. He liked reading, and movies, and nature. He even showed a bit of his humor when he claimed to be a plant murderer under the guise of caring for his garden.
He was six feet tall and that fit in nicely with her own five-foot six-inch height.
She liked that he gave no reference to cars, sports teams, or hunting. These she learned are the hobbies of the so-called macho men who are more interested in impressing other men than in being with a woman.
She penned a quick note to his inbox. "I saw your profile and was impressed by your honesty. I too am recently single, but through divorce and not a death. Maybe we can compare notes about how to deal with the loss of a long-time mate."
She hit send and immediately regretted sharing so much personal information with a person she didn't even know, even if she felt like she did. His profile was the first she'd seen in the year she'd been on this dating site that seemed to be someone she might be able to connect with. She only hoped that he would think the same about her.
Her mind jumped head first into her fantasy life with this new man. She had not been with a man for almost four years. Her ex had not touched her for a year before he demanded the divorce. Now her mind had her naked with this new fantasy lover stroking her body near a lake in the mountains. They were outside on top of a sleeping bag.
Bob had been on the dating websites for a couple of months and was beginning to just chalk them up as another failure and glad he hadn't spent any money on these sites, when he saw an email from someone he hadn't contacted. Her name was Sarah and he after reading the very strange email clicked on her profile.
The first thing that Bob noticed was that this Sarah woman was not a twenty-year-old player. She was dressed well, but not like the gold-digging vamps he found at the bars. What she wore was not overly sexy, but did show off her charms. She seemed aware that she was attractive and had no need to flaunt it.
She was 43. She claimed to go to the gym a couple of times a week. She went to a yoga class, Pilates, and a spin class. Bob understood why she looked to be in such good shape after two kids. She shared that she was estranged from her kids and was looking for a friend and maybe a companion. She sounded just as lonely as he felt.
He formulated a response, "Hi Sarah, I'd love to compare notes with you about how to chase away the blues. I've been working on writing a book about all the ways that don't work for about four years now and feel that I'm very close to finding the answers. I read your profile and you seem very active with the gym and I can assume that is why you seem so fit. I personally like breathing the fresh air along a mountain trail. Do you enjoy hiking?"
Sarah hadn't signed out of the dating website when she received the reply from Bob. She laughed as she read the part about the book of things that don't work and knew she had to get to know this man.
"Hi Bob. I also am writing a book of the things that don't work to chase away the loneliness. I think so far, I have enough information for a mini-series. I love the outdoors, but haven't been hiking other than the maintained trails, mostly paved, around the lake. I'd love to go on a hike with you, but I might have to buy some hiking boots. Where do you like to hike? I could probably handle a ten-to-fifteen-mile hike if there weren't too many hills," she replied then waited to see how fast he answered. That would be an indication of his interest. It was already confirmed that they were both desperate.
Bob was impressed at how fast she had answered his email. It seemed to him that they were both ready to get together with another person. He answered her email and shared a few more details about his interest, but nothing too controversial just yet.
Over the next few hours and dozens of emails back and forth they progressed to the subjects most would avoid, but the more they chatted the more comfortable they felt. They shared the details of their childhood, their views on politics, religion, and on if people who put ketchup on hot dogs should be shot. They agreed on almost everything including how long to wait before expecting sex.
"I'm feeling very comfortable with you already and both of us have had plenty of life experiences so I'm not sure we need to wait very long, but we do need to meet first. It might also be a good idea if we knew each other's kinks beforehand. I'm not sure if I want to see your dungeon and be tied up while you flog me on our first date," Sarah replied to the sex question.
Bob laughed out loud as he read her response, "Okay the flogging will wait until the second date, but I did just have the dungeon cleaned," he answered.
