(Part 1 of 3)
Because someone is older doesn't necessarily mean they are wiser. I was nearly forty years old when I learned what a naive girl I was and it was a young man of twenty who set me straight.
Angela, my beautiful and talented daughter, was beginning classes at a prestigious college out of state. Her father George, rest his soul, was an alumnus and had set up a fund so she could attend. She also earned several academic scholarships so I was happy she wouldn't have to work her way through school like I did.
Her boyfriend Jem was not so lucky. He was smart and well mannered but not the kind who thrived sitting still in classrooms. Even though he and Angela were in the same graduating class he was a year and a half older than her. Fortunately he had found an online education program at the state university to learn about computers. He would watch videos, read books, and work through problems on his PC...things he could do on his own schedule which suited his personality. Then on Saturday he would drive the hour to campus for labs and discussions.
It sounded like a great program and when I looked up the web site I saw a course of study on business applications which were increasingly important in my own career. I could do course work in the evenings after work and if Jem didn't mind me tagging along we could carpool on Saturdays. He thought that was a great idea.
My friends called me Tina, short for Bettina. Jem called me Betsy, a nickname I hated. But it sounded cute when he said it so I never corrected him. He got away with a lot because of his charm. His companionship made the drive to and from campus bearable and even enjoyable. That and the excitement of being back in school made me really look forward to Saturdays.
We didn't like the same music so we would listen to talk radio when we listened at all. The show that played on our way home was Jenny & Lenny, a girl/guy duo who "helped" callers with their questions about relationships and sex, lots of sex. I put that in quotes because I doubted how much help their advice really was. Mostly it was an excuse to see how dirty they could be without being censored. Sometimes I was embarrassed listening to them with my daughter's boyfriend. But Jem was so funny he put me at ease. He would imitate the callers and exaggerate their questions to the point of ridiculousness. Then he would imitate Lenny and even Jenny and give the callers ridiculous advice back. He'd have me laughing so hard that when he drove we would pull up at my house before I even realized we were there.
One evening we were heading home and there was a lady caller just going on and on about the number and variety of orgasms her boyfriend gave her. It was just hilarious and eventually I commented about how she should save the faking for her boyfriend.
"You don't think she's having the orgasms?"
His question caught me off guard but I explained, "She is, but her boyfriend's not giving them to her."
He didn't say anything and to fill the awkward silence I continued, "Because women don't orgasm from sex."
"How do they orgasm then?" He asked.
I was flustered but since I had initiated the conversation I felt obligated to finish it. It would be helpful to Jem anyway since he was young and, so, inexperienced. But how to word things without being vulgar?
"A woman understands her body...her biology is much more complicated than a man's. A man's pleasure is simple. A woman has to feel herself and is able to act accordingly to pleasure...herself. I'm sorry, I'm not explaining it very well."
"No worries, Betsy. Now when you say she feels herself...do you mean with her hand?"
"Well now you're being facetious. What I mean by that is that when she is stimulated she feels it, you know, in her apparatus and is able to...further stimulate herself, eventually reaching a climax of pleasure."
"So, with her hand then," he laughs.
"Enough of that young man," I said in my stern librarian voice but I wasn't mad.
"So what about these women who say they orgasm from sex?"
"Girls are notorious fakers, Jem. If a woman orgasms during sex with you it is likely she is trying to strengthen the relationship. Or encourage you to finish. And if it's my daughter I do NOT want to know about it."
He was silent for a minute. I got the impression he wanted to get something off his chest.
"Well to tell the truth, Mrs R____..." I could tell he was embarrassed by how he used my last name, "I haven't ever had the pleasure...of pleasuring a woman."
Wow, this conversation had become a minefield of gaffes for me.
"I'm surprised, Jem, a handsome guy like you..." What did I just say? Stop talking, Tina. "There's nothing to be ashamed of anyway, being a...you know."
"Just haven't met the right girl."