I listen, pretending to be asleep. My wide open eyes, gazing into the darkness of the room can't make out anything but distorted shadows. You try to keep it down, trying not to make a sound, but your hand subtly rubbing against the sheets, and your trembling breaths, betrays you. I know what you are doing. You've done it before.
I know how much you wanted it, as we went to bed, how you wanted me inside of you. But I denied you, turned the other way, like so many nights before.
I don't remember what we argued about this time, and does it really matter? Yet another night ending in disagreement, leaving neither of us able to sleep. Your inviting attempts didn't break through my kevlar shield of stubborn bitterness.
You probably think I'm sleeping, unaware of what you do, right next to me. In secret pleasing yourself, in lack of what I didn't give you. I know how it probably makes you feel, alone, doubting my love for you, and at times that's what I want you to feel, not out of cruelty, it's just that I...
Yeah... it is kinda cruel. I know you want me, I know you want your man inside you, to take care of you, treat you, pleasure you, make you feel desired.
I hear how you're spreading your thighs, and how you increase the pace of your fingers between your legs, touching yourself, and how you start to breathe faster, as you always do when you are getting close.