"I can't," I said, recrossing my legs in the tight skirt.
"These are good terms, Stella," said Gary Leung. "You won't get better."
He knew he had all the cards and I was desperate. It had taken a lot for me to come and see him. He was the king of the Hongkong entertainment world with close triad connections. A powerful bastard who ran those working in the local film world. In 1982 I'd won the Miss Hong Kong contest as a 20-year- old. That opened the door to show business for me. But it came at a price.
Like all other-actresses I had to make myself available to the rich and famous for sex. I had to make myself available to the rich and famous for sex. You had to sleep with whoever he selected or there were no parts.
You were reserved for local millionaires and special clients of Leung's. It was prostitution but at a very high level. It happens in Hollywood and around the world. For four years I was part of this circuit. I was never happy at giving myself to rich old men or someone Leung wanted to impress, but when he snapped his fingers you dropped your panties.
Leung charged these men at least HK$100,000 for a night with a top actress. The higher up the ladder you were, the more it cost. The fact I was still a virgin meant that my first night fetched a very high price. My mother was in charge of pimping me, believe it or not. She haggled with Leung. There were no shortage of wealthy men who would pay anything to be the first to bed a Miss Hong Kong.
The price wasn't the issue. Leung did not want to offend any powerful men by not accepting their offer. This had happened before and a solution had been found which satisfied the men and humiliated the girl. Half a million Hong Kong dollars was put on the table for my virginity - a massive amount in 1982 - and lots would be drawn to see who would have me. I was upset by the arrangement but my mother was just thinking of the money.
"You please powerful men and you'll get good parts, Become a star. Others have done it before you," she said. Mother mentioned the names of several famous actresses. You might believe this is incredible but think about the recent scandal involving the Chinese flim actress and international star Zhang Ziyi.
She's reputed to have earned US$100 million plus from sleeping with top mainland officials and billionaires. Of course, she denied everything, but what do you think? The price for a top star can be one-million yuan these days. Many prominent women have certainly opened their legs for large sums, although not in her league. In fact, with the explosion of wealth in China it has become even more widespread. Not many starlets can resist a big pay day.
I was ambitious and would do anything to get on. My mother basically pimped for me. It was not a pleasant life but I steeled myself. Nice flat, car, clothes, everything but no love.
The night I lost my virginity was not good. Leung organized a dinner for 12 of the leading men in Hong Kong - property developers, financiers, bankers - the real power brokers who ran the city. I was the main dish. All had wives and young mistresses. Their private lives were a closed book. These supposed pillars of society had lots of dirty secrets but a blind eye was turned to their activities. Leung laid down what was to happen.
"You'll dress in the swimsuit you wore at the contest, the Miss Hong Kong sash, the red cloak and the crown. When summoned you'll come into the room and strip naked, then walk around to each man, sit on their laps in turn and let him inspect you. Then you will stand at the top of the table while the name of the man who you will entertain tonight is drawn," he said.
"It is so crude," I protested. "I don't think I could do that. Behave like a whore."
I looked at my mother, feeling the tears beginning to flow down my cheeks.
"Nonsense. You will do this or find another career outside of movies," said Leung.
When he left I argued with mother but she was firm. My family did not have much money and she saw me as the means of paying for my younger brothers' education and a prosperous lifestyle. While the old bastards wined and dined below, I prepared upstairs in the lushly furnished bedroom where I'd be deflowered. I stripped and put on the swimsuit. Then mother did my hair and make up. The crown was placed on my head and red cloak around me, fastened at the neck. I had to go to the toilet several times as I waited nervously.
"You look like death, girl," chided mother. "You know how many women before you have laid on their backs and opened their legs for some old goat they despised? Plenty. You've got to learn to use what you've got to get what you want."
It seemed an eternity but at last Leung came for us. On weak legs, accompanied by mother, I walked down the stairs into the dining rooms. Twelve men sat around the table in dinner jackets. I recognized most of them as I looked around. All their eyes were on me as they puffed cigars and sipped wine. I felt sick as I stood before them.
"She looks nervous," said one. "So would you be if you knew one of us old bastards were going to fuck you." There was laughter.
"Gentlemen, Stella will now show you what every male viewer wanted to see the other night when she won the title," said Leung.
He nodded to me. I undid the clasp of the cloak at my neck and handed the garment to mother. My hands were shaking as I reached for the zipper down the side of the swimsuit. I heard murmurs and some giggling as I undid it slowly, then pushed the straps off my shoulders. I rolled it down, bending over to step out of it to expose myself.
There was a tension in the room as I stood naked, sweating, wanting to pee again. To be anywhere but here.
"Please introduce yourself to the gentlemen, Stella," said Leung.
He indicated the nearest man, a fat bald headed Cantonese who was leering at me.
"Yes child. Come here and begin your new career," he ordered.
I went to him. He ran his hands over my buttocks and crotch, then pulled me onto his lap.
"A good pair of tits, gentlemen. I think that's what won her the crown," he laughed.
He cupped my breasts and then put his head between them to suck my nipples. I was disgusted with his pawing. I was being treated like a cheap whore.
"I don't think she is yet used to this type of inspection but she soon will be," he said.