I have to tell you about this crazy night that happened recently. My friend Benny and his girl Dana came from Kansas City to visit me in Dallas for a few days. On the second day here, Dana's daughter drove to Dallas from San Antonio to visit. We had plans to meet with our friend Reggie at a strip club. Ashli wasn't looking to go to a strip club with us, but she had no plans of being in my place by herself. Before anyone thinks we were encouraging juvenile delinquency, Ashli is 25, Dana is 44, Benny is 42 and I am 46. We're all grown here.
We all meet at this strip club in the hood. We're having a good time and Reggie and Benny keep feeding me tip money to tip the girls. Most of them are smaller than what I like in the chest area but it's a hood club, so we get to act up. I'm flirting as I'm tipping flashing my tongue and the girls are looking at it like it like it's a Lizard. It's a heck of a night. Ashli looks like she drank too much as she's laying across a couple of chairs. Looks like we'll be cutting this night short.
As I leave my side of the table and give Reggie some dap and prepare to leave, he tells one of the dancers that I'm his brother. She looks up at me and says, "Damn, you're tall!!" Mind you, Reggie and I are the same height. She climbs on a chair and before you know it, SHE JUMPS IN MY ARMS!! Even though the vodka had me feeling good, I didn't stumble and fall. I didn't really think about it until I put her down, but I'm recovering from ankle surgery. Now that it's on my mind, I'm glad the surgeon did a good job. I swear if I had to decide I was going to let her jump in my arms, I would've said no without hesitation. Anyway, I told her that I just had surgery and she apologized. I told her no need. She said she weighed 135 pounds and hoped she didn't hurt me. I assured her I wasn't hurt, they we left.
On the way back to my place, Ashli, in her so called drunken stupor yelled out loud, "Richard, you have a long ass tongue!! I wonder what that tongue do. Hmmm..." Instinctively, (blaming it on the alcohol) I say that I've been called the Lizard. She sits up and says, "I can see why. Your tongue does look like it belongs to a lizard. I'm gonna call you Lizard from now on."
Normally, I'd be cheezing real big in a situation like this, but this is the daughter of one of my closest friends' fiancΓ©. I can't say I wouldn't smash because she's the same age as the strippers in the club. That would be hypocritical. Anyway, she dozes off until we get home. She wakes up and says someone has to carry her. Benny has to walk Dana to the door based on her consumption as well. Lucky for me, Ashli only weighs 100 pounds at 5 foot 4. I'm feeling like a strongman as I put her on my shoulder. When I get gassed I flip her over my left shoulder moving the weight off my bad ankle.
"I like you carrying me like this, Lizard. Nothing better than a strong man."
I reach up and smack her ass. I give it a nice gentle squeeze as I continue to march to my apartment.
"You like my ass, Lizard? You wanna play with it upstairs?"