You're relived when the car finally comes to a stop. You've spent the last three hours in the backseat of cab that's been driving on some very windy mountain road. You feel nauseous when you step out of the car. When you manage to pull yourself together you take look around. You see a grey sky, green mountains, tall fir trees, perfectly manicured Kentucky blue grass and the gothic looking campus of Arnold Augustus Cabot College.
The cab drives off and you pick up your bags. You swipe ayour student issued key card through a scanner located at the main entrance and the college's imposing wrought iron main gates slowly open for you. The first thing you see when you step onto the campus grounds is a large grey granite boulder with a bronze map of the campus attached to it. The next thing you do is walk over to the Dean Of Students' office.
The Dean Of Students' office is located in the college's main office building. It is a large brick Queen Anne style building located in the center of the campus. When you open the buildings heavy oak doors you see a long hallway with checkered marble floors, a red English runner rug, Georgian style paneling, red flocked velvet wallpaper on the walls, brass art nouveau wall lamps, oak baroque paneling on the ceiling and speakers hidden behind plastic Boston ferns in brass Italian vases pumping out Romantic era German classical music. While your walking through the building you also notice that all of the staff is female.
The Dean Of Students' office would look like it had came out of Agatha Christie novel if it wasn't for the Computer sitting on top of Dean Of Students' secretary's desk. The Dean Of Students' secretary is a five foot three, one hundred and thirty-five pound, twenty two year old bubbly Filipina with long silky black hair, copper skin, a round face, big dark brown almond eyes, chipmunk cheeks, a pug nose, full lips, a small chin, a juicy curvy body, size 36D pear shaped breasts, a round soft belly, a big perky bottom and a pair of thick shapely legs. She is wearing pearl earrings, a short pearl necklace, a white short-sleeved ruffle blouse, a black pencil skirt and pair of shiny black patent leather stiletto pumps. The nameplate on her desk has "Emiliana Marcos" written on it.
"Hi. I missed orientation because of a death in the family and the woman in the student services office I spoke to on the phone said that I was to report directly to the Dean Of Students' office when I arrived on campus."
"Give me your key card."
You hand Emiliana the key card and she swipes it through a scanner connected to her computer. She looks surprised when she sees your information come up on the monitor. Emiliana then hands you back your key card.
"I'm going to need to see some photo id now."
You hand her your driver's license. Emiliana looks at it and then hands it back to you. Then she picks up the phone on her desk and tells the Dean Of Students that there is a student who missed orientation who is waiting to see her. When Emiliana gets off the phone she tells you that Dean Of Students will see you now.
The Dean Of Students name is Georgina Rockwell. She is a five foot five, one hundred and fourteen pound, fourty-three year old stern looking WASP from Bloomington, Indiana who has wavy light auburn hair down up in a loose bun, a deep bronze tan, a oval face, a pair of deep set indigo eyes, a straight nose, thin lips, a heart shaped chin, a thin tight body, size 34C orange shaped breasts, a tight flat stomach, a small tight bottom and a pair of long sculpted legs. Georgina is wearing a pair of GI glasses, small black pearl studs in her ears, a black army style skirt suit, a white dress shirt, a red silk tie, beige panty hose, and a pair of black puppy heels.
"I heard you could not attend orientation due to a death in your family."
"Yes my paternal grandfather died of a heart attack two weeks ago."
"That is unfortunate. Your grandfather was a very wealthy and generous man who helped raise millions of dollars for this institution. In fact your grandfather's wishes are the only reason why you are enrolled at Arnold Augustus Cabot College right now. You are the only public high school graduate who has ever attended this institution. I am sure that you know that Arnold Augustus Cabot College is the most exclusive men's college in the United States and all of the students who are enrolled here right now have graduated from some of the top prep schools in the country. Normally to gain admittance a student needs to be a legacy or have letters of recommendation from three graduates. Now we here at Arnold Augustus Cabot College are not snobs but we do believe that public school students do not have the discipline and education necessary to complete this college's rigid academic and athletic curriculum. We here at Arnold Augustus Cabot College also believe that public school graduates do not have the self-control that would allow them to comply with this college's strict rules. Now if you do manage to graduate you will be able to get your master's degree at the Ivy League school of your choice. Also here at Arnold Augustus Cabot College academic and athletic achievement is not rewarded with good grades alone. If you do good in this school you will be rewarded with extra phone calls home, you will be able to go on off campus trips, you be allowed to access to "special" areas of the campus and you will have sexual privileges with the campus staff."
"What?"
"While Arnold Augustus Cabot was working on Wall St. he observed that his worst employees were either young and sexually inexperienced or old and sexually frustrated. He also noticed that most of his employees frequented brothels on a regular basis These observations led Arnold Cabot to believe that sex is the driving force behind all of mankind's achievements. So when he founded this college he hired some prostitutes and set up an on campus brothel. The way the system worked was that good grades would be rewarded with sex. This system lasted for fifteen years until Arnold Cabot discovered that male members of the campus staff were having more sex with the prostitutes then the students. So he fired the prostitutes and all of the male staff and came up with a new system. The first thing he did was to acquire an all female staff. Then he came up with a sexual merit system. The system works like this F and -D average students do not get any sexual privileges. D average students will be able to have privileges with the staff in the dormitory building they are staying at. C average students are able to have sexual privileges with all dormitory, custodial, maintenance and kitchen staff. B average students will get sexual privileges with all dormitory, custodial, maintenance, kitchen, security and teaching staff. A average students will be able to have sexual privileges with all dormitory, custodial, maintenance, kitchen, security, teaching, athletic, and administrative staff and if you manage to make it to on honor roll lets just say that your in for a surprise. Now all sexual encounters must be made by appointment at the Pleasure Department inside the Venus building. However some members of the staff do give out sexual favors in return for winning academic or athletic competitions or for completing certain tasks that they might assign you. Now do you have any other questions that you want to ask me?"
"No."
"Good. Pick up your and go over to the Eustace Priest Dormitory Building. Your dorm mother will show you to your room."
You say goodbye and walk over to the Eustace Priest Dormitory. It's a four story first wave Chicago school style brick building located on the far north east side of campus with the other dorm buildings.
The first thing you see when you open the building's front door is your dorm mother. She is a five foot one, one hundred ninety-six pound, fifty-year old Utahan who has long straight sunflower blonde hair, ruddy skin, an oblong face, a pair of dark blue eyes, crows feet, a bulbous nose, sagging cheeks, a double chin and a big fat sagging body. She is wearing variscite earrings, a silver puffed heart necklace, a white v-neck stretch cotton cardigan a long denim jumper dress, white ankle socks and a pair of black rubber work clogs.
