Foreword
Okay, here's one for the April Fools contest. It was fun to write, I hope you enjoy it.
The following is in no way autobiographical, but the beach bar/restaurant does exist, as does the Sunflower Hotel in Hoi An, Vietnam. Oh, and there are also bikini-clad cuties on Cua Dai beach -- occasionally. *wink*
Other than those points, the rest of the stuff is made up.
Thank you for reading. Feedback is appreciated.
GA -- Da Nang, Vietnam -- 4th of March 2015.
***
They walked along the beach, two of them -- one white-blonde while the other's hair was the colour of a raven's wing. Using the old pervs' trick, which was simply pretending not to look, I tracked them as they approached. The ruse probably had nobody fooled, but I couldn't help ogling.
The pair drew level with my position and then passed by, the East Vietnam Sea swelling benignly just beyond them. I ignored the blue water and Cham Island in the distance because the view was much better close-in, my attention set on two of the most delectable rear-ends I'd seen in a good long time.
I indulged in a smug little smile before tilting the bottle to my lips: midday and I was swigging cold beer in the shade of a bar with a palm-frond roof while watching two beautiful girls walk by. It was a moment to savour, the pair of them in the skimpiest of dental-floss bikini briefs, the tops just as insignificant.
My mind wandered through one of those little imaginings that has no chance of ever enjoying life. At fifty-nine, I was an old geezer, invisible as far as those girls would be concerned -- but I didn't let that stop me thinking about it.
Sighing, I took another gulp at the beer, consigning the pair to the wank-bank. In my head I stored away long, tanned legs; superb derrieres; tight waists and the curve of their spines, the feminine form with the power to incite sane men to crazy acts.
The dark one was the taller of the two, her hips not quite as broad, the immaculate cheeks of her arse higher and tighter and worth a smidgen more money if I was buying -- which is the only way I'd ever enjoy physical intimacy with a girl like either of them.
The days of firm young flesh were well over for me. If I wanted it, I'd have to pay for it. For one as hot as the two I'd just watched saunter past the beach bar I'd have to fork out a lot of readies, which sucked all the romance out of it as far as I was concerned. A cold business transaction simply didn't appeal. So I watched and I dreamed.
...And then did a double take when I noticed the girls had turned a one-eighty and were on the return leg. Then I realised they weren't going past but had veered off, their path curving towards the bar.
They'd looked good thirty yards away on the sand, up close they were stunning.
I did my best to appear nonchalant, like I hadn't noticed -- Another epic fail as pointless as pretending not to look at them in the first place.
When I went to gulp beer I found the bottom of the bottle, my throat working as I pretended there was still liquid inside.
The girls paused and looked around, with the blonde's eyes settling on me. She nudged the dark-haired girl who then turned her focus my way while her friend muttered something I couldn't make out.
The dark one's green eyes bored holes in me, my face warming while an impression formed. I was aware of the blonde's sizeable breasts and her friend's less full-bodied frame. I registered the dark one was prettier, and somehow seemed nicer while the other looked a bit pouty and spoiled. Although I didn't have a chance to form any real opinion beyond the superficial at the time because it then dawned they were approaching my table.
Ridiculous hope surged. I felt a maelstrom in the pit of my stomach while carnal longing dragged at my vitals.
They arrived, the blonde with the bad attitude sauntering up while her friend slowly followed.
"Hiya," she said, cocking a hip while looking at me with her head canted to one side. "You English?"
I did my best to continue with the nonchalance while attempting not to stare with my mouth hanging open. It took a moment or two, but I finally managed a croaking, "Yes."
The girl nodded approval. "Great," she said and, with no further preamble, launched into her pitch. "Well, listen, me and my friend have walked along the beach and we've left our stuff with our friends." She waved a vague arm in the direction from which I'd seen them coming. "Thing is, we're thirsty and all our money is--" The blonde shrugged and left it hanging, the question obvious.
Now I have an intense dislike of females who use their physical appeal to their advantage. I hate being played in
exactly
the manner in which she was playing me.
Did she think I was an idiot? Did I
look
like I'd dropped off a Christmas tree?
It immediately struck me this girl had no qualms at all about using her body and her looks to cadge drinks from desperate old men. Under normal circumstances I would have laughed at her, but: first off, I was on my second beer and feeling the buzz; second they'd caught me off guard; and finally, well, I hate to admit it, but they really were sensational looking and I was a desperate old man. If it cost me the price of a couple of drinks to have the opportunity to gawp at them some more -- well, all right, I'd swallow my principles and do what the girl wanted.
"What would you like?" I asked in a drainpipe gurgle.
The blonde grinned and pointed to the bottle in front of me. "One of those."
She settled into a rickety chair and immediately setting about leaning in to rest her elbows on the table, breasts squeezed between her upper arms.
I couldn't help the gulp, my throat working to clear the sudden blockage as all my internal organs rose into my gullet.
The blonde's head tilted to one side, her frank appraisal settling on my face. I blinked and looked away towards the bar owner as he shuffled over, flip-flops scuffing on a frosting of sand on the concrete floor.
"What's your name," the blonde girl asked as he approached. "I'm Cate," she told me, "Cate with a C."
I turned back to her, blinking, confused by the qualification. "What?"
She rolled her eyes as though I was the stupidest lump she'd ever encountered. The, sighing, she spelled it out for me. "I used to be Kate with a K," the girl grinned. "But I thought that was too common so I changed it. Now I'm Cate with a C."
"Right," I replied, lost for any other response. "Okay--"
"I'm Zoe," the other girl said, saving me.
When my head went round again I saw Zoe settling onto a chair. She sat to the side of me, the action taking her smooth, bejewelled stomach and Chinese character tattoo out of my sight-line.
"I'm Graham," I told them both, asking Zoe what she wanted to drink.
She shrugged and pulled a face and then went on to make the order for the three of us.
The old man nodded and scuffed away, flip-flops making that nails-on-the-chalkboard scratch as he went.
"So, Graham," Cate said, leaning back in her seat. She threw an arm over the back of the chair, breasts straining at the cups of her insubstantial bikini bra. "How long are you here for?"
Cate stared at me with what appeared to be avid interest. I thought she was lovely: tanned, lithe, sweet boobs and flirty as they come, mesmerising me with big eyes and pink, most lips while twirling a stray wisp of blonde hair around a forefinger.
The girl was really playing me -- just for a beer!
"Three months," I replied, "longer if I can a visa extension."
