Anne
Getting to know her and coming to an understanding.
I think our greatest sex organ is between our ears so I try to leave something to our imagination. If you need or want graphic details please check out the great authors that offer those tales.
Anne lives in my building. Like me she lost her love. In her case it was about four years ago and mine passed two years ago. After several months of thinking and stewing about it I finally got the courage to call her and ask if she would be willing to go to lunch with me. I was happy when she sounded eager. And the lunch turned out great. What should have been maybe an hour turned into over two.
The next week we went to lunch again. The third week we did it one more time. I listened to her life story and she listened to mine. It turned out we had lived within five blocks of each other as children and went to the same high school. With her being several years younger than me our paths never crossed or if they did we did not remember it.
I was pleased when one morning she called, "Would you like to go for a ride? I need to get out for a while. The walls are closing in." The fact that she was willing to call me and ask for something was great. I felt that maybe a bridge had been crossed. We spent about four hours driving and talking. It was all very comfortable. Like two old friends spending time together.
Expect for the fact that I was getting feelings for her and did not have a clue on how to tell her that. So being a first class idiot I acted. After one of our lunches as we rode the elevator up I hugged her shoulder and then I just kissed her. Not a deep kiss, just lips meeting for a second. But I had a reaction in the lower part of my body. Cripes, had it been that long that a quick kiss raises the temperature that quickly. Would my pants split if it had been a deep kiss?
As the elevator stopped at her floor she hadn't said a word. She walked out and turned to give me a look that I could not read. Then the door closed and I was alone.
Shit...I had screwed up, big time. Now what do I do? Pretend it didn't happen. That I had not forced myself on her? Or try and mend the damage? I had to try. Like I said earlier, I had feelings for her and if it wasn't going to be romantic then being friends was the next best thing. I could live with that if necessary.
So I then next morning I called her. Frankly I was too scared to call her that night. Maybe a little time and she would calm down, hopefully. "Good morning."
Her response left me a little hope. At least she took my call and answered back. So I blundered on, "Could we maybe talk sometime? When it's convenient for you? Please."
"Sure. How about now? I have coffee on and a couple of sweet rolls. Come on down."
It was hard. I had no idea what I was going to say or how to even begin. Things started out pleasant enough. We talked about the weather and the helplessness of the local pro football team. As the saying goes shortly after that the silence was deafening.
So I decided it was time. The only thing I could do was go ahead and say what I felt I had to say. "Anne, I hope this doesn't ruin our friendship but please hear me out. I think I have to honest with you and hope you can be honest with me."
A deep breath, "I still love Abby and will always love her. But I've developed feelings for you. I don't know if it's love or not but it's very strong feelings. I'm sorry I kissed you it was wrong and as I soon as I did it I knew it was wrong. I'm hoping you can pretend it never happened or at least forgive me. I promise I'll keep my lips to myself in the future and if at some point you feel something you'll have to tell me. Now I hope you'll be honest with me. There I'm done. If you tell me to hit the road I'll understand. I may not like it but I will understand."
She sat there, thinking. "Yes...Ok...You want honesty. I can do that. I like you. I'm comfortable with you. I feel we have a connection of some sort. When you kissed me I didn't know if I should kick you in the nuts or kiss you back. Last night I lay there hours thinking about it. I decided I liked your kiss and thought I wished it had been longer. But, it's been years without someone in my bed and did I want someone in there now? You have to give me some time. I enjoy the time we spend together and would hate to lose it. But if you have to take this to the next level I'm not sure about it. Please give me a little time."
"You can take all the time you need. I will wait but you'll have to make the next move whatever it is. If you want to call it all off or just continue being friends or moving further it will be up to you. I think I've made my feelings known." I left with a heavy heart thinking it was over.
Two days later the phone rang, "Hi, you want to take me to lunch this afternoon?"
Lunch was like our first several lunches. It was friendly and lots of conversation touching on personal but not too deep. I figured her decision was friends. It made me sad. I had hopes that were not going to happen. It was going to be me and my right hand for the rest of my life.