My fantasy is different from the ones I have read so far. I really get turned on by it, but I wonder sometimes why I have it. I described it to a friend, which was a mistake. She suggested that something like this must have really happened, but I am certain I have no memory of it. You need to know a lot of my history:
My mothers parents died in a car crash when I was only 2, so I only remember my other grandparents, who lived only a mile away. They always made me feel so very loved. My parents were too busy fighting with each other and then got divorced when I was about 8. But through it all, both my grandparents were just great. They cheered my efforts and were so pleased with my successes. They never condoned misbehaving, but I knew it was what I had done which displeased them, never me- because I knew that all I had to do was stop misbehaving and all would be OK. They always gave me the feeling that there was noplace in the world they would rather be than with me, listening to me, talking to me, loving me. And I truly loved both of them. It was just so great and the way I imagined my life would be, but that hasn't happened.
I guess I have been looking for that feeling ever since they died, my grandmother when I was 15 and my grandfather only a few months later. I like to believe that their spirits still watch over me, encouraging me, and loving me, and preventing me from doing anything they would not approve of.
My fantasy is long and I actually spend a lot more time on the details than I will write: In my fantasy, my mother has divorced my father and I am living with her although I am 18 years old and could move out and get an apartment.
She has a "boyfriend" (Eddie is not a boy, he's an old man) who arrives to take her to a fancy play, but she claims she is too ill to go anyplace. She decides that I should go with him, because the tickets to this play were very expensive and they shouldn't go to waste. I was excited about the prospect of seeing it, and her boyfriend Eddie is really nice to me. Eddie is a lot older than my mom and had lots of money. He dresses very well and drives a Mercedes. It does not occur to me at the time that she is doing this to keep him from taking someone else to the play! And it does not occur to me that he would not want to take me to the play, but he doesn't. He sits and fumes as I try to get dressed in a hurry.
I wear my moms dressiest black dress and my mom let me wear her pearls too. I had my hair up off my neck- it looks really nice, or at I think it does. I love the feeling of nylons on my legs, I rarely wear them. When I come down the stairs in high heels (mom's shoes, I didn't own any (even though I AM EIGHTEEN 18 ), I am holding onto the railing and wobbling a little, but I am gratified to see the smile on Eddies face, he obviously is impressed. The evening is a dream. We go to dinner and he helps me order and it is really great. And the dessert is even better, we split it and he gives me the "big half". He listens to me and comment and admires, just the way my grandfather did. The play is fantastic. I laughed and cried and laughed again. I found myself constantly leaning against Eddie and he did not seem to mind. I would grab his arm and once I just reached over for his arm without looking, and my hand fell into his lap, without any special intent. Even though I removed it immediately, what I had felt there really got my attention. I had learned about sex, but it never occurred to me that Eddie is a male, and although I had seen my fathers penis when I was younger, what I felt seemed a LOT bigger. I found myself wanting to feel it again, but I knew that would not be "right".
When the play is over, Eddie suggests we get split another dessert. Everything is just so perfect: the weather, my appearance, the way he listens to me and talks to me, the way he looks at me as if I were the most beautiful girl in the world. And the most interesting. I want him to hug me the way my grandfather did. I want him to know how happy he makes me feel. I want him to love me. We get in his car and he drives me home, but I don't want to go home. My mom will talk about how miserable my dad is, and how great Eddie is. I would rather just stay with Eddie and find out for myself. I tell Eddie I want to see what the park is like this time of night since I never get out after dark. He doesn't argue, but turns off to the park about 4 blocks from our house, and parks there. One other car is there, and we park far away from it. I note a couple in the car and I ask Eddie in a playful voice, "What are they doing here this time of night?"
He does not answer immediately and I realize he is struggling to think of an answer. Before he answers, I slide over next to him and put my arms around him and hug him really hard, and say, "You are SO great. I have never had so much fun. Really! Everything was just perfect!"
He still seems at a loss for words, and I let my head move against his chest. It is so comforting to be close to him and I feel so loved and appreciated, even though I assume he is only being polite to please my mother. With my face against his shirt and silk tie, I notice how wonderful and sexy he smells. I can't get enough of it. He places his hands on my shoulders and I worry that he is going to push me away, but instead he says, "You are really a most beautiful young lady. He says, "It really was a very perfect night, I had forgotten what it was like to date someone who did not complain about anything."
His hands are now caressing my arms and my back, and I fell so good all over and wish he could caress every inch of my body. That thought makes me warm in my private place and it is a wonderful feeling. I wonder if he would caress me THERE. That thought makes those feelings increase dramatically, and I squeeze my legs together to make it even better.
I just let my head slide down into his lap, and was surprised to find that my ear is right against the bulge in his pants, and the bulge is very solid and pulsating against my ear. I wonder if I am hurting him but I decide he can move me if I am. I find myself wishing I could just stay here in the car with him close to me. He shifts somewhat and I shift my head a little, which results in it being almost lifted by the pulsation of what I realize must be his penis. I wonder if this is normal, so I ask, "Is this what you do with my mom?"
He laughs a wonderful laugh and squeezes me against him, saying, "Sort of...but not exactly".
"What can I do so you know that I love you every bit as much as my mom does. You make me feel so good, do I make you feel good too?"
"Yes, you make me feel very good. I have had a wonderful and memorable night."
"My mom and dad used to touch each other under their clothing, do you do that with my mom?"
