Kasey spent Saturday night with me as well as Sunday morning. She'd left my house about 3 to meet her study group. She apologized saying that she probably wouldn't be at the gym until probably Friday.
"I'm sorry that I can't make it," she said as she was packing to leave. "I really want to be there."
"Baby, no. You need to take care of school first, I understand. That will always come first. The gym will be there when you have time. We'll get your time in when we can," I replied. She smiled thinly and walked into my arms when I extended them. We hugged tightly. "It's going to be okay, baby."
"I know, I just want to be there. Friday night was amazing. I can't wait to get back in. I feel awesome being around all of the strong people there," she said.
"You're gonna fit in just fine," I smiled.
"I hope so," she smiled before we kissed.
---
After the Sunday night workout, Shana stayed behind to help me clean up since Joel had an early flight the next morning. Shana and I talked as we worked, and she kept throwing good natured comments at me about Kasey. Finally, she turned serious.
"You need to get her to stick around," she said.
"You think she'll fit in okay," I asked.
"Yeah, of course she will," Shana replied with an eye roll. "She's got a great attitude and she's already so strong. A year or so with you and Joel, she could be among the strongest girls in the world."
"Yeah, she could," I agreed.
"And I liked how you threw around heavier weight the other night than you have in months," Shana laughed.
"Yeah, maybe so," I agreed.
"She'll push me. I need another chick in here since Kate moved to the morning crew. It was always Marsha, Kate and me," Shana said quietly. "I can't imagine where I'd be if you all hadn't saved me."
"I know Shana," I replied. I remembered the three of them working together. I felt my emotions getting the best of me as I remembered how Marsha, Joel and I helped Shana from Day 1. She was the first of our "rescues". She'd lived on the streets for a couple of years and was hooked on heroin when we'd found her near overdose one morning in front of the gym. Marsha, who was a saint through and through, immediately got her help. She told me she wanted to bring her to the gym as she knew it would help Shana, when she finished treatment. Joel and I agreed as we trusted Marsha's judgement.
I thought back to our first days in the gym with Shana. Everything was so hard for her as she fought through her lingering addiction, as she fought to regain control of her body. A few weeks in, she turned a corner and the mental strength she'd always possessed came out. It was amazing to watch. She took to the training we'd given her, and she worked harder each week. Soon, she was helping others in workouts. It took her longer to get her personal life in order and she stayed with Marsha and I for almost 6 months, before she found a steady job and got on her feet. She moved in with Alicia from the gym, and things finally were going good for Shana.
My mind drifted to Kasey and I immediately thought of what Marsha would think about me "helping" her. It was different than Shana obviously. She was headed towards being statistic when we found her. Kasey, on the other hand, was completely different. She was headed along a much brighter path than Shana had been offered. The thoughts that I was sure I'd put aside returned. Was I helping Kasey with anything beyond making love to her? The only thing she lacked was confidence in her body and she looked like she would melt anytime I complimented her. I was using the wisdom of my years to reassure her and treat her differently than she'd previously known. She's putty in your hands, I reminded myself ashamedly. I couldn't keep doing this I thought. I was taking advantage of a young woman that reminded me of my late wife when she was younger. But despite the short time frame and my own doubts, I realized I had strong feelings for her. Telling her I couldn't see her anymore wouldn't be easy. I suddenly found myself on the verge of losing it. Shana noticed immediately.
"Whoa, whoa, hey big boy," Shana said. She wrapped her arms around me, and I hugged her close to me. "I can't have the strongest, toughest fucker I've ever met bawling in front of me. I still need my allusion of a knight in shining armor every now and then."
"I know you do," I said as I hugged her ever tighter. "I've just got a lot of things going right now. Thanks."
"No problem," she said slapping my back. "You all pulled me out of a hole that I never would have left."
"We tried. And you've done well," I said.
"I've tried, Scott. You three were the only people to ever believe in me," she replied.
"I know honey and I'm sorry, but I'll always believe in you. No matter what kind of bullshit you get into," I managed to laugh. We finally parted our embrace.
"I know," she smiled, before she became somber again. "I can't imagine it helps that she's Marsha 25 years ago."
"No, it doesn't," I replied as I wiped my face with my shirt sleeve.
"You shouldn't let that bother you though. She's into you and you're into her. Just enjoy it," Shana said. She reached to hug me again.
"I know honey," I said as I hugged her tightly.
"I gotta go to work," she announced.
"Okay, good luck," I said as I released her.
"It's better now. The cops have been keeping the rowdier fuckers out," she laughed.
"That helps," I managed to smile.
"Oh yeah. Look if you need to talk about things, you know I'm here for you, right," she asked.
"I know. Thank you," I said.
"Forget about it. I'll forever be in you and Marsha's debt," she said.
"Don't look at it that way," I said.
Shana nodded before she grabbed her things and left.
---
I didn't text Kasey the next few days as I wanted to make sure she was preparing for her exams and I wanted to have time to think things over. Despite the reassuring conversation with Shana, I'd convinced myself I needed to just let her go. It would be easier now than it ever would. I knew the way I was beginning to feel about her, and I expected that she might be feeling the same things. I made a lot of mental notes about how I needed to approach things and how I needed to say them. Despite my best intentions, all my soul searching, and pre-planning evaporated when she texted me about 2:30 Thursday afternoon.
'Hey!!! I'm done. I slayed,' she said.
'Excellent,' I typed. 'You got plans tonight?'
'Yes. Lots of plans. Most involve us being naked,' she typed.
'Okay. I have a few things to finish here. I'll let you know when I'm free,' I replied.
Naturally, that wasn't the end of the conversation. We texted until I left the office at 5. I didn't know what I had in store for me that evening as I'd received several very sexy pictures throughout the conversation. I wondered how guys her age handled all of this. I thought back to when I was that age and was thankful the technology didn't exist.
I got home about 5:30 and saw Kasey already sitting in the driveway. When I got out of my truck, she greeted me warmly with kisses.
"I missed you," she said.
"I've missed you as well," I replied.
"Come on, let's go inside," she offered. She grabbed an overnight bag as well as a grocery bag from inside her car. I unlocked the door and we walked in. She dropped her bags and pushed me against the wall.
"Someone is the mood," I managed to say before her mouth met mine. We kissed ferociously before we finally parted to catch our breath.
"After what you've done to me and the way you treated me, I think I'm always gonna be in the mood for you," she said before she kissed me again just as insistently.