Being married to a driven and successful man has it's perks. There's the money, the travel, the lovely homes, the money, all the grown up toys, the money, the freedom to work (or not), and oh, did I mention the money?
I am grateful for all of those things but there are also drawbacks to life with a driven and successful man. The long hours he puts in at the office, all the travel he does, the women who throw themselves at him seeming to think he's available (did I mention the money?), the inflated ego and the sense of entitlement he feels because of -- wait for it -- THE MONEY!
Of course I really shouldn't complain. The money tends to make up for most of the bad parts and for this small town girl born and raised without a dime to her name, it changed most everything for the better.
I was born and raised just a few miles outside a small town in rural Iowa. My daddy was a farmer and mother ran the household. We never had much in the way of extras but at the end of every day we were tucked into bed by parents who loved us, fed us and put clean, albeit usually second hand clothing on our backs. Knowing the alternative and experience of many other kids, I now know that my siblings and I had everything we really needed.
I learned that lesson quickly as I interned in a number of inner city social service venues during my junior year of college. Studying Social Work really expanded my view of the world and of course I wanted to make a difference. All of that changed abruptly when I met Ty.
One Tuesday morning in April, 1985, I stumbled through the door at the Catholic Charities pre-natal clinic carrying too much in my arms. The neighborhood was intimidating for a young woman of 21 to walk through just before sunrise so using all the common sense I could muster I foolishly grabbed the huge stack of folders on the worn passenger seat beside me and ran for the entrance. Pushing the door in with my hip I remember falling forward, papers flying everywhere while a strong hand grasped my arm firmly and held me upright. My face beginning to turn red, I looked up and into the eyes of a god.
"Are you ok?" He asked with a smile.
"Yea, just my pride is injured," I answered with my trademark lopsided grin.
He bent over and began retrieving the mess of papers so I quickly joined him. We set it all down on the nearest table in silence before I noticed the Doctor standing just a few feet away.
"Now that's a great way to start the day, Kelly," Dr. Nystrom said in his usual steely tone. Even on a good day he didn't much care for interns (or people in general) so it looked as though this day was shaping up to be a particularly difficult one.
Then my hero saved the day.
"Oh, I don't know about that. This just gives us something to do while we get acquainted." The stranger said with a million dollar smile and a wink.
Blushing, I smiled back at him as Dr. Nystrom rolled his eyes and headed for his makeshift office.
That was the beginning of a long, beautiful friendship. Well, not always friendship but it began that way. Our courtship was quite long - almost 18 months - and very deliberate for both of us. We intentionally set limits and celebrated our wedding night with our very first lovemaking.
Not that we were both virgins. Plenty of women had tried to land Ty with sex and I wasn't exactly as pure as the new snow either but together we made a commitment to make our wedding night our first.
Fast forward 10 years.
Life was comfortable. Ty was and is still a golden boy. With his blond curls and intense blue eyes, he looked more like a surfer than an attorney. Driven and successful at 28 when I met him, he just continued to develop and hone his skills. Watching him work the room, whether in a business setting or at a party was something to behold. Charming doesn't do it justice. There was something just magical about him. Still is.
Traveling, of course, was part of the job. In the mid nineties Ty was on the fast track to greatness. He was quickly moving up the ladder at a huge Chicago law firm while I was diapering babies, carpooling and hosting dinner parties on a regular basis. Our children came quickly after our wedding night and before we knew it we were parents to 3 girls and 2 boys. Ty's success as a lawyer meant that I could stay home with our children and we both were happy with that arrangement. I raised the kids and took care of the house while he worked. Some may think that's old fashioned but it worked for us.
Then came the night when things changed.
While checking on the roast in the oven, I heard the familiar chatter of excited children as the front door opened. Making my way to the front foyer I smiled at the scene. As usual the little boys descended on their daddy, pulling him into the study with hopes of a wrestling match. He gave them each a kiss but dashed their hopes of rough housing as he came over to me and circled my waist with his arm, pulling me into him.
"Sorry boys, I need to talk to mommy," he said.
The boys dejectedly began to leave the room when Ty stopped them with a comment. "I'll be up in the play room in 5 minutes so you better be ready."
The twin three year old boys whooped and hollered as they ran up the stairs.
Quickly Ty explained why he was home so early. There was a visiting Judge from Boston in town unexpectedly and a reception was set up for the evening at the firm's downtown penthouse. Ty's eyes danced as he held my hips in his hands and looked deeply into my eyes.
"Honey, I know it's last minute but I really need you to go tonight. Today was amazing and if I make a good impression on him tonight my career will skyrocket. Now, can you figure something out for the kids and wear something subtle but sexy."