CHAPTER 1
Twice divorced with continuing strong interest in working and male company, Lillian Smith, who'd once again reverted to her maiden name, made her seventh application for a new job and secured a position as personal assistant to the female operations manager of a courier company.
The two women settled in together fine, both being the same age of fifty-two, and with similar interests except manager Marion had been married to the same man for twenty-seven years and had warned her new recruit she didn't talk about her husband or home life. Lillian had welcomed this job because eighteen of the twenty-one drivers were male and it was company policy not to employ drivers under the age of thirty.
Lillian had asked why was the minimum age for drivers set at thirty rather than say twenty and Marion said older men tended to stay with the company longer and in the company's experience over many years it had been found more mature drivers had far fewer motor accidents in the company's service than younger drivers, especially those in their early twenties. When shown those statistics, she'd set the minimum age although age was never given as a reason for turning down anyone seeking a position as a driver for Southwest Couriers.
"Are any of the drivers likely to be interest in me?" Lillian asked.
"Well I couldn't be sure but it's possible because at least of dozen of them appear to have four interests that are, in no particular order, drinking, eating, sport and chasing after women."
"I should think that order is the correct order."
Marion said, "And I suppose you've had the experience to know that?"
"Yes, two marriages and twenty-one affairs have taught me a thing or two."
Marion swallowed. "How many affairs did you mean to say?"
"Twenty-one. I keep a diary."
"How could you manage to fit all those into your life?"
"Oh I worked at it. It was not a burden, I assure you. When you do something well and enjoy what you are doing time passes and satisfaction manifests itself."
"You mean you enjoy sex?"
"Oooh yes."
Not convinced, Marion looked closely at her assistant, "Are you sure?"
"It's better than doing the washing, going to church or working, I can assure you of that Marion."
"A woman who enjoys sex? You are a remarkable woman Lillian. All the women who've ever talked to me about sex, including my daughters and way back my mother, did nothing but complain about their sex life."
"I suppose if you don't like what you do it's easy not to like what you're doing," Lillian philosophized.
Marion laughed and gave Lillian more work and looked at the departing woman still sporting a reasonable figure -- well there were well-defined shapes -- and who had her long hair dyed in three shades of blonde.
On a Friday morning when exchanging morning greetings, Marion said, "I'd like to take you to lunch today as a gesture of friendship to mark our congenial relationship aged thirty days old today and perhaps to learn something from you. I'll tell you more over lunch if you care to accept my invitation."
"Yes, I do accept you offer Marion and promise to talk about any subject you wish that I'm familiar with."
"Oh I don't think you'll be uninformed or misinformed about the subject I have in mind."
That mystified Lillian. Perhaps Marion wanted to know how Marion could work more efficiently?
But no. Over lunch Marion confided she rarely talked to other people about sex but something Lillian had said had gotten her thinking about its application to sex. "You said if you don't like what you do its easy not to like what you do. Initially I thought it was a silly statement but the more I thought about it the more profound it appeared to be."
"Are you not enjoying sex Marion?"
"I was attempting to avoid referring to having sex with Bruce."
"I didn't name who you were not enjoying sex with. It could be with anyone."
Marion flushed and blurted certainly not with her. She had not had sex with anyone else since the first date with Bruce."
"God Marion, you set the pace in having sex on the first date."
Marion turned crimson. "No, I meant I've not had sex with anyone else in all the time I've been with Bruce since we first dated. We actually didn't have sex until the third night after the wedding and please don't ask me about whether a sex life existed before I met Bruce."
"That's fine. What do you want to know from me Marion?"
"Well first, how many times a month do you prefer having sex?"
"My dream had been twice a night so that's sixty-plus times a month but I must admit rarely achieving that target."
"Oh you poor dear. Please excuse me for asking this and don't answer unless you wish, but when did you last have sex? I recall you saying your divorce came through three months ago."
"Two nights ago."
"What, you've found a guy in this city so soon after your arrival?"
"Yes, well more than one actually. I've been to bed with three of our drivers, um each a on a different occasion of course."
"Ohmigod. Is our workplace that promiscuous?"
"I wouldn't know. I don't pry into what other people do in their own time and you are the only person who has admitted to me as having had sex."
"Well that was obliquely."
"Oooh, I haven't heard of that position."
They laughed.
"Tell me, what do I have to do to enjoy sex? There, I've said it."
"Well the first thing is to love your body. Do you love your body Marion?"
"I suppose so, though I'm not keen about the shape I'm growing into."
"Do you finger your orifices?"
"Ohmigod Lillian, you can't talk to me like that."
"Suck my finger."
"No, take it away. Ohmigod, I can't be seen doing that in a restaurant and anyway how do I know it's clean?"
"That was part of the point of this exercise Marion. My next question after you sucked my finger -- hopefully in a sexy manner -- would have been to ask what had you learned about your physical and emotional feelings gained from sucking another woman's finger? Sadly, what Dr Lillian Smith has to tell you ma'am is she's had sufficient feedback to suggest you cannot really enjoy sex because you're so uptight about it."
Marion placed a hand above her breasts and said mournfully well that meant she was doomed to never experience the so-called joy of sex."
"Oh Marion why?"
"Because I find it messy and degrading and therefore disgusting but it was the vehicle that has given us a son and two daughters."
"So the truth is you have turned your back on sex, er, I'll rephrase that. You have retired from sex?"
"Well no, I've found that impossible. A couple of times a month Bruce taps me on the hip, half awakening me. I automatically roll on to my back and away he goes, grunting into it. I can tell you it's really difficult to slip back into sleep when a man is doing that to you. I have tried wearing three pair of panties to bed and even sleeping in the guest room around the time when I suspect Bruce will want to rut, but he deals with those challenges with ease. I wish he'd use that same expertise in keeping the house tidy and fighting the "never-ending curse of garden weeds."
Marion then had her most enlightening moments over lunch. She sighed and asked, "What is it about sex you like?"
They returned to work both declaring it had been a lovely lunch. As they put away their handbags Marion asked, "You haven't suggested what I should do about Bruce in his twice-monthly revolting insertions."
"My advice is to allow him to continue. It's ingrained in men to want to do it and they automatically think if you cut the supply they are no longer liked."
"But I do like Bruce."
"Allow him to continue. His interest in it will wane within twenty years. Look on the bright side Marion -- it's only twice a month."
Marion sighed. "Put that way Lillian it doesn't sound too onerous. I don't want Bruce leaving me for a younger woman." She appraised her assistant, admiring Lillian's make-up, her stylish dress sense and hair and breasts Lillian made no effort to hide, and indeed the opposite could be said. "Or someone like you."
Lillian laughed. "Just to keep you relaxed Marion, I promise here and now I'll never go to bed with any man called Bruce." Or called Archie, Owen or Edgar she thought, thinking of other male names that tended to switch her off.
Marion spent the next hour between interruptions looking at the list of drivers to work out which of those horrid drivers had pressed her assistant for sex. She removed the three women and the married drivers and smiled triumphantly when left with the names of five unmarried men, two of whom she suspected with gay because they lived together.
"Oh Lillian, which of our three drivers have had sex with you? I'm just interested. Nothing will happen to them."
"Sorry Marion. It was after hours and therefore of no concern to you."
Looking at her list Marion said, "I believe they were Guy, Lenny and Mark."
"Marion," Lillian said patiently. "I'll tell you this; my answer is no. Lenny virtually doesn't wash or shave regularly, Mark has facial skin eruptions and I think Guy wouldn't be capable of sustaining an erection. He's a hypochondriac."
"But Archer and Oliver are... well... um..."
"Gay? I would think so."
Marion's mouth fell open. "But that leaves only the married men?"
"And our three lady drivers. Why leave out the females?"
"Because they... Ohmigod."
"As it happens Marion, you may eliminate Patsy, Claire and Liz but that's all I have to say to allow you to identify those guys who left my side apparently very happy."
"But married men; that's adultery?"
