If my husband had come shopping with me that Friday night as he usually does, none of this would have happened. As it was, I went on my own to my local supermarket and was doing the weekly shop as normal. I noticed this young guy coming towards me, pushing a shopping trolley with a young baby in it. He was about 20, about the same age as my elder son and he was absolutely gorgeous – the sort of man that every woman looks at and thinks "if only"! He was tanned and well build, not overly muscled, but just perfectly formed, nice arms and chest, and so handsome, like a young Paul Newman. As he walked past, I couldn't help but turn and look – and his tight young bum was as perfect as the rest of him.
I carried on with my shopping, catching sight of him now and then. As I turned into one aisle, he was busy looking at nappies and as I walked past, he politely asked me if I could help him. He wanted some advice on the sort of nappies he should be buying, as his shopping list wasn't specific. He laughed and said "men eh?" and we talked for a little about his baby and some general small talk and all the time I just kept thinking "God you're beautiful" and generally behaving like a silly girl rather than a 40 year old woman.
After he'd taken my advice and put the nappies in his trolley, he turned and continued to walk with me, just chatting away. He was a bit rough, but in a nice way and very polite, and this just added to his sex appeal. He walked with me while we finished our shopping and when we got to the checkout, right out of the blue he said, "Thanks for your help – could I buy you a coffee?"
I have no idea what made me accept, but I found myself saying yes and a few minutes later he was seated beside me in the supermarket restaurant, with his baby fast asleep in a buggy next to him. I was so close to him, I could smell an attractive mix of aftershave and musky male – a heady combination – he smelt as wonderful as he looked. He told me his name was Sean and he was so attentive, asking me about myself and my family, flattering me when I told him I had two boys of 18 and 20, saying he couldn't believe I was old enough. All the things you would expect him to say if he was chatting me up, but at the same time, the things we women love to hear – especially if it's coming from a drop-dead gorgeous man 20 years younger than you!
We chatted for ages until he said "I'd really love to meet you again – can I have your phone number?" I was shocked – but I admit my heart skipped a beat! I told him not to be so silly – that I was old enough to be his mother, that he had a young baby and no doubt a beautiful wife at home. But he persisted, telling me he found me really attractive and easy to talk to.
He admitted that his wife was beautiful, but that she was also pretty dumb (his words!). They never talked about anything much and since the baby, she had even gone off sex. I still resisted, telling him it was not unusual for a woman to feel like that after giving birth, but that she would soon get over it. But my mind was in a whirl – this handsome young man found me attractive – I had butterflies in my stomach – I heard myself talking without really knowing what I was saying. He was so persistent – and I was so flattered – that I found myself accepting his phone number, with the promise that I'd give him a call!
He walked with me back to my car and after he had loaded all my shopping, he turned and kissed me gently on the lips and said "Don't forget to call me" and with that he walked away pushing his buggy. The affect of his kiss was like an electric shock – I steadied myself against my car and watched him walking away – again admiring his tight young bum. I sat in my car for what seemed like ages before I felt safe enough to drive home and all the way I could still smell his aroma on me and feel his kiss on my lips.
How I acted normally when I got home I will never know. It was like I was in a dream, my mind was reliving the last hour, but my body was going through its normal activities – I was like two separate beings. I lay awake nearly all that night and by morning I had convinced myself I was being stupid, that it was ridiculous for a 40 year old woman to feel like that about a casual meeting and that it was nothing worth risking 20 years of marriage for. I tried my hardest to put all thoughts of him out of my mind, but the piece of paper with his number on felt like it was burning a hole in my pocket. Several times I went to rip it up but each time something stopped me. Days went by and my confusion got worse as I argued with myself, one moment picking the phone up to call him, the next telling myself to throw his number away, but each time knowing that I really wanted to see him again. Eventually I decided that if I just met him shopping again, nothing could happen and I could satisfy my curiosity and get him out of my system. So the following Friday I found myself dialling his number – I was aware that my hands were shaking – the phone rang several times and then his voice said "Hello?"
I was like a silly teenager all over again and it was several seconds before I could even manage to say "Hi – it's me". He sounded genuinely delighted to hear my voice, saying that he hadn't been able to stop thinking about me all week. I asked him if he would be shopping that night but he said no, he had to work this week. I felt so disappointed, I thought for a moment I was going to cry and then he said "can we meet for a drink on Saturday evening?" I was so relieved that I almost blurted a yes out before I'd had time to think and next thing I was making arrangements to meet him at a pub the following night.
That evening I found myself lying to my husband for the first time in our marriage, saying that I had had a call from an old friend and that we were meeting up for a drink. Saturday passed in a blur and at 6 O'clock I started to get myself ready, showering, applying my favourite perfume and even trimming my pussy hair. I carefully choose a skirt and top that flattered my figure, but something that wouldn't arouse my husband's suspicions. Underneath I wore a soft silk teddy, all the time trying to convince myself that things would never go far enough for me to worry about what underwear I had on.
As I left home my husband kissed me and told me to have a nice time and the shame and guilt at what I was doing nearly overcame my desire to meet Sean again, but half an hour later I was standing outside the pub where we had arranged to meet. My legs nearly failed me again as I suddenly though how it would look – a 20 year old lad and me sat together – I could almost hear the comments. But I walked in and looked around, momentarily panicking when I couldn't see him, when a voice from behind me said "Hello gorgeous – I thought you weren't coming" and he stood up, put his hands on my hips and kissed me full on the lips.