"Hi. What are you doing here?" I heard the familiar voice as I felt the tap on my shoulder. It was the girl who serves coffee to me every day at the local Starbucks. I instinctively stood as I turned to face her.
"Hello. Well, I came to the restaurant for dinner, and since my table won't be ready for a while, I thought I'd come in to the lounge to have a drink and relax. How about you?"
She laughed lightly. "Well, my date was supposed to meet me here over fifteen minutes ago."
"Would you like to sit down and join me until he arrives? Unless, of course, you think he would mind..."
"Thank you. I don't really care if he minds since he's the one that's late. Are you here alone or with your wife?" she asked as she sat down.
"Wife?" I looked at her quizzically.
"I'm sorry. I saw your wedding ring..."
"Don't be embarrassed. My wife and I are permanently separated. She's in Southern California shacked up with her 30-year old realtor boyfriend. After she moved out, I moved up here to resume my life. My knuckle is a little enlarged, and I'm not quite to the point of having the ring cut off yet."
"Ah. By the way, my name is Lara. I've seen you so much at the shop I feel like I already know you."
"I'm Lee. Yes, coming in for my morning coffee and reading the New York Times is a great way for me to start the day." Of course, I didn't tell her that I also looked forward to seeing her in that almost-too-tight Starbucks uniform tee-shirt. (Hey, I may be 48 years old, but I'm not dead!)
On this very warm September night she looked even better in a white lacy halter mini-dress. The dress and her shoes with the 2-1/2 inch heel accentuated shapely legs that needed no stockings. She was obviously expecting to go dancing. I could and did imagine what a fast spin on the dance floor would cause her flared skirt to reveal.
We exchanged a small talk for probably another twenty minutes before the hostess from the restaurant came to tell me my table for one was ready. Then she asked if the young lady would be joining me (at least she didn't say my daughter or, God forbid, my granddaughter!). I looked at Lara, but before I could speak, she said, "I'd love to."
Over dinner and a bottle of wine Lara explained that she was a graduate student in forestry at the University of Idaho. She had lived in Idaho all her life and really had no desire to move. Unfortunately, after her parents died, she had to work full time to make it through college. I commented that it was hard for me to picture her in a wool plaid shirt, green heavy trousers supported by wide suspenders, wearing steel-toed leather boots and a helmet and wielding a chainsaw. She laughed, then went on to explain in remarkably interesting detail that there was more to forestry than the Paul Bunyan image. She was both very pretty and very articulate, an excellent conversationalist.
Before I realized it, we had finished dinner. It seemed as if it had only been a few minutes, but nearly two hours had passed. Good conversation with a beautiful woman in a knockout dress does cause the time to pass quickly.
"Would you like to join me in the lounge for an after-dinner drink? Or are you opening at the shop tomorrow?"
"I'd love to. Join you, I mean. No, I don't open tomorrow. I've got a class, but it's not until early afternoon."
As we walked from the restaurant into the lounge, she paused and said, "I don't believe it. There's Carl at the bar. He was to have been my date."
She seemed reluctant to proceed, so I suggested that we just leave through the restaurant, I'd escort her to her car, and she could head on home. She agreed, but just as we turned to leave, her way-late date spotted her and called out her name. A little too loud and a little too drunk. We walked over to him in hopes that he would quiet down a bit.
"So, Lara...who's this? Your grandfather?" Ouch. That hurt. But, since he was about 22 or 23, Lara's age, I guess I should have expected it. Lara, though, was very cool.
"No, this is my friend Lee. I saw him here, so we started talking while I waited for you. When it was obvious that you weren't going to show up, Lee very graciously invited me to join him for dinner."
"So...gracious Lee," he said trying to be clever, "Do you normally come here to pick up college girls?"
"No, just to have dinner and a quiet evening. Now, if you'll excuse us, I'll walk Lara to her car." I opened my wallet and took out a ten-dollar bill, threw it on the counter, and called out to the bartender, "Karen, I'm buying this gentleman a drink." It seemed like a good way to try and make a graceful exit.
Lara and I turned to leave, but the Carl-the-creep grabbed my arm.
"Wait a minute, gramps. I don't want a drink. I'm here for my date with Lara, and I'll be the one taking her home." Unbelievably crudely, he winked.
I looked at Lara. Barely perceptibly, she shook her head "No."
"Please let go of my arm."
When he didn't release his grip. I glanced at Karen, the bartender, whom I've known since moving to the area. A slight smile was forming on her lips, and her eyes looked skyward with that "some people never learn" look. She knew what was about to happen, but she was more amused than alarmed.
I gripped Carl's hand on my sleeve with my right hand and ground my thumbnail into the pressure point on the back of his hand. He instantly released his grip on my arm, but no sound came out of his mouth. There was only a very surprised look on his face. While maintaining my grip on his hand, I moved my left hand up to his shoulder as if I were putting my arm around an old buddy. He grimaced in pain as I applied a second come-along hold to the pressure point near his collarbone.
"Now, Carl," I said evenly, "We're going to quietly walk outside. Don't squirm, or I promise the pain you're feeling now is nothing compared to what you will feel. Once we're outside, you're going to get in the cab that Karen will call for you, and you will go straight home. You're too drunk to drive your own car. Do you understand?"
Carl nodded as much as he could considering the painful pressure he was feeling.
Karen grinned and picked up the phone to call the cab. Lara just stared at us with stunned speechlessness.
Carl and I walked out as if we were long-lost friends. Lara followed behind. When the cab pulled up to the curb, I nodded to Lara to step forward and open the door.
"Carl," I said, "I'm sure Lara would appreciate it if you didn't call her any more unless it's to apologize for your bad behavior tonight. Okay?"
Once again, he nodded. Carl seemed to have lost his voice. I pushed him into the taxi and slammed the door shut behind him. Off he went to wherever drunks go to salve their humiliation.
"Where in the world did you learn to do that?" Lara stammered. "I thought sure he was going to punch you and really create a scene in there. I knew from getting your coffee every day that you were a gentleman, but I never would have thought that someone your age...I mean...Carl is my age, and he's much taller than you, and you handled him as if you were a young man. Oh...! I'm sorry. That really came out all wrong. But, thank you very much."
She looked genuinely embarrassed, but I started laughing.
"Don't worry about it. Hey, I am twice your age. As for Carl, remember that old age and treachery will always prevail over youth and enthusiasm. I was a deputy sheriff for 22 years. Being only 5-foot-7, I had to learn to control people much larger than me. Most cops know pressure point holds that work pretty well. That's what I used on Carl. He'll be okay, but his shoulder and hand are going to be pretty sore for a couple days. Now, how about that nightcap?"
Lara looked at me for a couple of seconds, then said, "No, I don't think I'd better have another drink right now. I think the dinner wine made me a little lightheaded. I probably shouldn't be driving. Would it be too much to ask you to drive me home? I don't live far from here. My girlfriend from work can drop me off here on the way to class tomorrow so I can pick up my car."