Addendum

A completely unnecessary addendum, but it was in my brain and had to come out. No sex.

By the time I got home from the airport, I was feeling pretty low. The house smelled of her perfume and the bedroom smelled of sex. My office seemed the safest place.

I didn't know what the future held, but I knew there was one person I had to talk to. Turning on the computer, I sent a video call to Janice.

After a few seconds, she appeared on the screen, adjusting her wonderful white hair.

"Hi, Jan. Do you have a few minutes?"

"Sure, Lover. But if you're calling for video sex, I should warn you, Jordan is home."

Her 20-something daughter appeared quickly behind her mother, wearing nothing but blue-white-striped bikini panties. She waved, "Hi there," and disappeared again.

"Blue stripes? Not black."

"What can I say? Our little girl is growing up. Somewhat thanks to you, I hear."

"She told you?"

"She's my only daughter. We tell each other everything."

"Everything," Jordan shouted from the other room. "Lover."

"I think I heard air quotes in that."

"You did. If it's not virtual sex, then to what do we owe this call?"

"There's a woman."

Jan stared at the camera, waiting.

"We've spent some time together and she is really something special."

"Is there any chance this is the young woman you met with Meryl and Mitch in the middle of a mini-orgy? In her early 30s, you said?"

"Thirty-three."

"The woman who got sexually aroused when you sucked another man's dick?"

"Cock. Mitch has a cock, you said."

"Don't quote me back to me when I'm mad at you."

"Sorry," then, "Wait, mad?"

"Uh-huh. So, let me guess. This woman, I think you said her name was Carmella."

"Carm."

"Carm! That's right."

"She asked me to."

"Of course. So this, Carm. Young, beautiful, sexy... is the woman of your dreams."

"I thought so."

"You're going to marry her."

"Well..."

"And you're swearing off all others in case she gets jealous. Just like your wife did when she met you. Leaving me out in the cold with my nipples solid and my clit lonely and frozen."

"No."

"Which part, no?"

"She's totally cool sharing me with other people. She's really excited to meet you, Jan, but..."

"I bet."

"Hey, what's that? I didn't expect judgement from you."

"Judgement? Let's see. The love of your life for twenty years died, literally overnight. You're heartbroken, crushed. Wondering if you will ever love again, not to mention if anyone will love you. How am I doing so far?"

"Jan..."

"OK, great. Several of your wife's friends go out of their way to share their attention, their affection, their bodies. Hell, some even shared their love with you to help you through the dark time."

"If you're going to be like this, I'm going to..."

"Then in steps Meryl. Meryl the wounded. Meryl the open-minded. Meryl the sexually free. Meryl the pervert who is so committed to proving her sexual attractiveness that she's not happy with a husband who adores her AND has the biggest dick in town. She had to seduce you and throw a young woman in front of you to supercharge an already emotionally vulnerable situation with no thought to the consequences."

"Carm's not emotionally vulnerable."

"I meant you, you stupid man!"

We were both quiet for a long time before she said, "I'm sorry. That wasn't fair to Meryl. We do love her."

"Jan, I called for advice. I guess I know what it is."

She looked at me through the screen. Her white hair was perfect as always. Her alabaster skin was flawless. But her usually sensual lips were tight and her eyes filled with tears.

Her voice was disturbingly calm. "Advice. My advice is this. You're a man in your sixties who has recently experienced a tragedy. Now a sexy young woman, who I am sure is quite sincere in her feelings, says she wants to spend her life with you. Go ahead. Date her. Enjoy her. Fuck her, by all means. But, please, Lover, don't rush things. Don't let her rush things. If it's real today, it will still be real tomorrow." She swallowed hard. "That's my advice."

"Jan, that's not..."

The screen went dark. And silent.

After staring at it for a few minutes, I walked into the kitchen and poured some bourbon over rocks. I sat on the couch and stared into the glass, watching the ice melt. I chuckled. It's 11AM. I'm drinking bourbon at 11AM.

Without taking a sip, I set the glass on my coffee table.

My cell phone rang.

Checking the caller I.D., I saw that it was Janice's daughter, Jordan. I tapped ACCEPT CALL.

"Jordan. What can I do for you?"

"Are you some kind of idiot?" The background noise suggested she was in her car. "I mean are a certifiable moron? What did you think you were doing?"

"I thought I was having a conversation between grownups about adult relationships. Then your Mother got pissed off and hung up before I could get to my point."

"Of course she got pissed off, you jerk. Mom is in love with you!"

I was struck dumb.

"Are you there? Idiot? Did you hear me?"

"I heard. I mean, I knew she... why would you say that?"

"Because I heard her tell you at the door. Because I asked her. Because my own mother fell into my arms, sobbing about how she used to watch you and your wife together. She wished a man would love her enough to treat her the way you treated Godmother." Jordan's voice was rising. "And when Godmother... when your wife died, Mom saw a chance that maybe... just maybe, God damn you, that you might start to love her.

I stared at the phone in my hand. "Wow."

"Yeah. So much for your adult conversation, huh?"

"Jordan, I had no idea."

"Yes, you did. Don't lie. You knew or you would not have called. You knew because she told you. You knew because you love her, too! And you have for as long as I've known you. The way you watch her go through a room and how you talked to her when your wife or her husband was not around and how you hug her so carefully, keeping your hips back so she won't feel your boner while she's pressing those amazing tits to your chest. The way she is the first person you go to when you want great sex with someone who genuinely cares or when you need to tell someone that you may have screwed up someone else's marriage or when you think you're in love with a woman half your fucking age! You knew because you love her, God damn it."

"That's what I called to tell her!"

It was Jordan's turn to be silent, so I continued.

"I just spent a week with this young woman. A week full of fun and laughter and sex like I could only imagine. I felt like I was 30 again! But when the week was over, I knew it was done. As terrific as she is, I knew I would always compare her to Janice. I know I love Jan truly and deeply. I know she and I could do all the things I spent a week doing, but with the depth of experience that comes from having lived life."

"Except."

"Well, yeah. Except she is married and genuinely cares for Daniel. And I'm not sure what I will do with that, but I wanted her to know."

"Well, I don't know anything about middle-aged gland games, and I can't speak for your side-chickie, but if you want

my

advice?"

"Go ahead."

"Call Mom. Not right now. She won't listen. Maybe tomorrow after 10:00 when Dad goes to work and I'll be in class. Be honest. Don't pull punches with her or yourself. Talk about how you both really feel. You owe it to her. You owe it to yourself. And, let's be honest, you owe it to the chickie."

"I will. Thank you, Jordan."

"Good luck, Godfather. We all love you."

"Thanks. I love you, too."

"Oh wait, don't hang up."

"Yes?"

"Is it true Mitch has the biggest dick in town?"

"I haven't had much to compare it to, but I wouldn't be surprised.'

"Bigger than yours?"

"Much bigger than mine. I'm just the high side of average."

"If you say so. Bye."

"Good bye."

The bourbon was nearly all water.