A Very Insistent Father

Jake Hancock was totally responsible for two of the most unexpected events of my life. At the ripe old age of thirty-eight, I should have had nothing to do with a twenty-three year old man with only a single desire on his mind. However, life often takes curious and unwarranted turns when you least expect them. I know mine did, and it was entirely due to corresponding with and eventually meeting young mister Jake Hancock.

My name is Corrine "Cricket" Lange. I grew up moving from town to town off the shores of Lake Michigan along the western side of the state of Michigan. The area we lived in happened to be my father's sales territory, so whenever he got transferred so did the rest of the family.

Eventually, Dad settled into one place long enough for all of us to attend the same school more than a couple of years in a row. I graduated from Whitehall consolidated district high school, and like so many of my classmates, I eventually married my high school sweetheart figuring we'd have a couple of kids and live happily ever after. Surprise! All my assumptions turned out to be wrong.

Of course, it took eight miserable years of my life to discover that I'd been screwed over both physically and emotionally. My husband and I never had children. Eventually he ran off with a friend of a friend, and as if to pour acid on an open wound, his bimbo immediately got pregnant. Afterwards, my husband decided that since he'd knocked her up, it might be a good idea to divorce me.

Now let me explain the facts of life of a published erotic romance author--you have to promote yourself constantly whenever you're not writing a new book, and even more so whenever you've got a new book coming out. When

Silken Sheets

came out, I searched around for new readers' group sites to join and promote myself. Now see, this is tricky since a lot of sites don't want somebody just dropping in and dumping a bunch of sales oriented spam on their lists. I understand their mindset and try to be careful. At the same time, I still joined the site in order to push my book. So push it I did.

Every now and then, my brazenness got me banned from a site, I can think of three or four occasions when that happened. Other times my contributing on a new site gained me unexpected responses:

Dear Cricket,

I know I'm not white, but after reading your posts and excerpts I went to see the pic you posted in your profile. I noted from your profile that you are divorced. Is there a reason you didn't have children with your husband? I wonder if you would ever consider carrying a black baby. If so, please let me know. I would love to fill your fertile womb with my seed. We would make a gorgeous baby together. I too live in West Michigan, in Muskegon Heights.

Sincerely,

Jake Hancock

What the hell? I stared at the email with a startled sense of numbness. Talk about a weird, off-the-wall response! What was going on here? I'm pretty sure this guy had to be a youngster and my "official portrait" made me look much younger--around late twenties or so.

Okay time to post my "moment of truth" email back to him.

Dear Jake,

I'm afraid I'm actually several years older than my "official author's portrait" which I've posted both on my profile and hopefully will post on my writer's website when it's completed in the near future. So add about six or seven years and ten or fifteen pounds as well (I won't mention the graying hair as I cover that up...LOL)

True my ex-husband and I never conceived children. However, since he and his new wife have a child, so I'm guessing the problem was probably with me.

You live in Muskegon Heights! Really? I attended Norton Shores high school right next door for a year before my family left the area. Thank you for your offer. Many are the times that I wish I still looked and felt like that attractive younger woman again.

But time is relentless. You take care.

All the best,

Cricket

Okay, that should take care of that. My email should've settled the predicament. Also, I went to my posted profile and added a note stating that I'd never born children. For some reason I needed to make that clear.

Dear Cricket,

Do you ever really think about wanting to conceive a baby, or is that an idea that you're leaving behind you, in your past? And, could you ever imagine getting pregnant with a younger man's baby?

Regards,

Jake Hancock

He's back!

Doesn't the guy ever take a hint? All right, time to be firm. I know, let's use the health issue on a child born of a woman over thirty-five.

Dear Jake,

Wow! I don't have a pat answer for that? I'm afraid I'd have to check with my physician about whether my body's really up to it or not. I never had children with my husband and we were married for over eight years, so honestly I think you're barking up the proverbial "wrong tree."

As far as imagining that I might get pregnant, it's in my sexual make-up that every time I indulged in unprotected sex in the past, there was always the slim possibility of that in my mind. I can't help it. If, for example, you and I began to have a very active sex life, I know my brain would make that mental leap toward a practically impossible pregnancy. My health may against it or other factors as well, but my libido would love to include the scenario. I've often used getting impregnated as part of a stimulus toward an orgasm. However, to be honest I have never really indulged in that fantasy with a black man. Of course I might consider it, just for fantasy purposes, mind you.

Hope that answers some of your questions.

Cricket

Hopefully that would put a stop to any more silliness on his part.

Dear Cricket,

I think I understand what you're saying. Look, is having a black baby something you would be open minded about and consider, if the right man came along, and could you ever imagine being with a younger man?

Waiting with anticipation,

Jake Hancock

Good grief! This guy didn't take an implied "no" for an answer.

Dear Jake,

Thinking back, my first novel celebrated the love of an older woman with a younger man so that in and of itself is not a problem. In fact, I examined the thoughts of the woman who wondered if she might have driven by an elementary school in her driver's training vehicle and passing the school playground where the eventual father of her child was taking recess.

I've even outlined an interracial erotic book or two, but haven't pursued writing one yet. All right, I admit I have fantasized about black men before, as well as younger men. However, I'd never put both fantasies together before.

No, I suppose the age thing wouldn't bother me as much as I'm certain it would bother my younger lover eventually. If you and I had a child by the time that child went to kindergarten, everyone would think I was his or her grandmother. I think that would take its toll on everyone's ego.

But I think you are so sweet to suggest that you'd like to try. You've given my ego one of the nicest strokes it's had in years.

Jake, I don't quite know what to say. Would I consider a black baby? Of course, I would as long as I really loved the father. Would I consider fucking you? That too depends upon whether or not we hit it off in real life.

But I'll turn forty before you know it, can you deal with that?

Just wondering,

Cricket

There! That should do it. I'm almost double his age, and he's got to take reality into account.

Dear Cricket,

I understand what you're saying about the age issue, but to me it's not really an issue. Yes, if we had a baby people would think certain things as the child grew up, but if you and I could maintain our happiness overall, constantly keep the fires alive, and get each other going in so many ways, why should we worry about "what ifs"? The thought of dallying deep inside you, making love to you, knowing that deep down inside your womb is aching to be fertilized. Imagining that you want to become pregnant in the recess's of your mind, so you spread your thighs apart to accept the fact that you are going to allow yourself to be bred by a young strong man, those thoughts are just amazing.

I love the idea of us trying to accomplish something together so intimate and erotic as creating life, and our age difference just amplifies that even more.

Love,

Jake Hancock

I read this one over probably a half dozen times before I responded to it. His letter touched me in a way I'd never expected. Why did I continue to pursue correspondence with this guy? The smart thing to do would to be let it drop. The issue would go away if I didn't answer it--period.

Jake,

I guess I don't mind opening up emotionally or writing to you on any matter concerning love, sex and pregnancy, but I get the feeling that I may be one of the first mature women who has spoken to you candidly and openly about sex for the sake of joy as well as procreation. Maybe I'm assuming too much, but you have to realize that I am on the cusp of what is essentially a change of life for most females.

This close to the slide downhill into menopause, women are less likely to get pregnant and bear children...of course as a result we may become more open to lovemaking for the pure joy of sex. However, the same hormones that dictate how our bodies react also can be contra-indicative. A lot of women put sex on the back burner.

Bearing a child would be a crapshoot for us, and believe me I am flattered that you have asked me to be your mate. However, keeping the fire aflame in a long term relationship is a difficult process that goes well beyond what either of us may have the energy for.

I suspect you need someone to be a mature feminine figure (without being a mother figure) because if there's one thing most mature women are often good at, it's making love. If I may be so bold, I am certain--in fact I am positive--your dick would delight in being bathed by my pussy juices night after night.

Have you ever been in a long term relationship before?

Jake, I want you to continue writing to me and sharing your dreams and desires, but right now, I don't know if I'm the woman for you. However, I'm certainly not forbidding you to keep pursuing me. I honestly don't know how I feel about this change in my life.

How are your friends and family going to feel about you dating or even marrying a woman who may look as old as your mother?

Write back, Luv,

Cricket

That night I went back into the archives to find some of his older emails to reread. I knew I had more questions that needed to be answered so I thought I'd ask. However, my own words got hijacked by my erotic feelings about Jake Hancock's statements concerning the two of us together.

You realize an erotic author should never write an email to a man when she's feeling horny.

Dear One,

Jake. sweetheart, how old are you?

You know, I could literally feel the heat in your words when I read them, I swear to you that if were possible at this moment, I'd acquiesce totally to your throbbing erection, your pulsing scrotum and testicles, and ultimately take in the spewing flow of liquid that signals your deposit of living semen inside of me. I should tell you I've felt warm and excited over your online advances, you've given me feelings I didn't expect to find at all.

Which reminds me, I suppose I don't have to ask you if you can deal with living with a biracial child--after all this is your proposal?

It's late in the evening now, and I now know I'll be thinking about your words and your ideas and the physical intentions behind them when I finally go to sleep tonight.

Here is a daydream:

Since it's Saturday, we'd have both stayed home together today, which means by now as it's nearly nine o'clock at night EDT, we'd have already gone to bed and made love at least once today. At least once! Plus you'd convinced me into agreeing to fuck without protection with every intention of encouraging your teeming sperm to combine with my healthiest ovum. You talked non-stop in my ear while you balanced atop my fleshy thighs, telling me all about how you were pressing your desires for your own baby deep inside my open loins. We rode intimately intertwined until you filled me up with enough wetness to totally ruin a clean set of sheets and possibly change both of our lives forever.

In fact, I'd be wearing a pad still dripping with your sperm which I used to line my underwear. Then as I looked into your eyes later on, I'd see that when we go back to bed after the evening is finished, our festivities will continue again.

Where did you get all that energy, young man?

I'm going to have a recent picture of myself scanned soon--tomorrow, I hope. As I told you, the picture you saw is my "official author's portrait" like I indicated before. A friend promised me she could scan a new one (warts and all...LOL). I will send it to you as soon as I can get it, and you can decide if our differences are too much for you.

Damn, Jake! I didn't expect this to happen...

In my imagination, still sore and dripping down below,

Cricket

What made me send that one off, I don't know. But I clicked on the send button before my mind could think of a reason not to.

Dear Cricket,

Your letter was incredible! I love the fact that my words, my thoughts have turned you and your body on a great deal. I would love to send my seed deep into your womb, into the same canal that our love child would eventually come out of to be brought into this world. It may not happen, or it may not be possible, but I would try my hardest to put a baby in you, let you show the world a special creation that came from deep inside you.

I certainly wouldn't have a problem living with a bi-racial child, how about you? Do you think it's something you'll be able to handle?

Yours always,

Jake Hancock

Great! Nothing subtle about that one, but still, I sensed an honest heartfelt openness contained in his reply as well. Would I have a problem living with a bi-racial child? Do I think it's something I'll be able to handle? Well, it would be my child after all, and naturally I'd have to love my own baby.

Dear Jake,

Answer my question first. How old are you? I am really thirty-eight. Since I've never had a baby, I'm afraid there may be all sorts of unexpected medical complications involved.

By the way, I work for a medium sized company just outside Pentwater, but things in Pentwater are up-in-the-air due to the economy, and I may be transferred to Lansing, Ann Arbor or Jackson soon. Hopefully, not, but, I just don't know for sure. I suppose a transfer would be good enough reason to quit.

I suppose I didn't lose my virginity as much as I gave it up the first chance I got, and I sure don't miss it. I'd love to experience the "go-stroke" of a much young man's sexual prowess and his ability to cum several times in a night.

Whew!

Did it just get hot in here?

Believe it or not, my next book has a sort of similar plot to it...a mother-in-law becomes the surrogate wife to her son-in-law and mother to her grandchild after her daughter dies in an accident and they save the unborn baby.

Give me a kiss good night before I go to bed,

Cricket

PS. Going to bed--alone, damn it.

Dear Cricket,

Well, I'm nearly twenty-three. I believe we should get together sometime soon and see what happens. I'm not sure how you feel about that, but...I want to meet you in person. I can't wait until you send me your updated picture.

We're not too far away from each other at all. Pentwater is a leisurely forty-five minute drive from home. The drive would be nothing to my car.

Hopefully you won't be going to bed alone for very long,

Jake Hancock

Dear Jake,

Well, I guess fifteen or sixteen years difference isn't too bad. Of course, people really will think I'm old enough to be your mother...LOL! Still as long as you're comfortable with the thought of an older woman, no I probably don't live too far away. One nice thing about an eager young man, he'll work very hard and drive great lengths when he's certain it's going to mean great sex.

When I get my new photo scans, I'll send them to you and you can make that final decision.

I suspect you should tell me something about what you do for a living? I work in a regular office during the day and write a lot at night and on weekends. I write erotic romances as you guessed. Actually you don't do too bad turning out phrases yourself...

Gonna try to get some sleep pretty soon.

But if you really want to know, I'm going to think about some of the things we discussed tonight and let my fingers do the walking along some sensitive tissues under my nightgown first. Wish they were your fingers, Jake. At least until you got me primed enough to replace your fingers with something else--something a bit more suited for the job.

G'nite, my dear,

Cricket

Jake didn't answer me the next day. I felt lost and abandoned. So I wrote to him.

Dear Jake,

What do you really want, Jake? Why is impregnating a woman so important to you? Does the sex of the child matter?

Jake Hancock...

wrote:

I would love to send my seed deep into your womb, into the same canal that our love child would eventually come out of to be brought into this world.

Forgive my apparent disappointment, but I think this is very telling, Jake. It's as if you're saying to me that our being legally bound is not something you want from me.

It may not happen, or it may not be possible, but I would try my hardest to put a baby in you, let you show the world another creation that came from deep inside you.

This is a big part of what began to turn me on to you and your ideas. Do you have a picture of yourself? If I'm going to forward you my new pictures, I would like to see you as well. If I'm going to toy with the idea of giving into my body's need to bring forth a child (probably each time I'm by myself bringing myself to an orgasm however I can). Like I mentioned before, in all honesty the "threat" of pregnancy often takes me right to edge of an orgiastic cliff and then I throw myself over the edge.

I suspect I'll do that tonight...

But what about you? Have you run into too many girls in your life who have no use for children in their life, is that it?

I'm sure if we went through with it, your family would resent me for who I am--older and white--yet they'll love your son or daughter. It's inevitable usually.

Just food for thought,

Cricket

I awoke in the middle of the night. Something wouldn't let me sleep. Christ, it all had to do with my apprehension about Jake.

Jake Hancock...

wrote:

The thought of being deep inside you, making love to you, knowing that deep down inside your womb is aching to be fertilized, that you want to become pregnant in the deep recess's of your mind, you spreading your thighs apart to accept the fact that you are going to be bred, those thoughts are just amazing. I love the thought of us trying to accomplish something together so intimate and erotic as creating life...

Dear Jake,

But what is it you really want?

I awoke in the middle of the night, exactly as I'd predicted to myself. My mood, my desires, everything about my night from the most superficial to the most deeply buried reflected something I had not hoped to see again in my lifetime. I woke up and went into the bathroom, acutely aware that my body ached for that most meaningful of states of existence.

This couldn't be, I thought. It should never have awakened me from a sound sleep at all, but there it was. My nerves, my very organs themselves burned with a need beyond what was ordinary.

How had he triggered these feelings in me once more? This shouldn't have been! This should not have been possible. This should not have been feasible. I'd always been able to fight emotional instinct with logic before, but there was little logic left in my system this time. Good God! I woke up and jumped out of bed at two-thirty in the morning because my body had flip-flopped and demanded a quickening.