A Series About Nothing 01

A Series About Nothing 01

By: DickThePimp

Totally Fake

The Stars:

James (Me)

My Wife Kelly (Porn Queen Of Queens Kelly Madison)

Our Girlfriend:

Billie (Billie Eilish)

Our Friends:

Toi (Former Ebony Pornstar Toi Clayton)

Delotta (Former Ebony Pornstar Delotta Brown)

Max (Kat Dennings/2 Broke Girls)

Beth (Original Character)

Spence (The King Of Queens)

Kramer (Seinfeld)

And Special Appearances By Our Crazy Neighbors and Others:

Fat Bastard (Austin Powers Movies)... Fat Bastard!

Voodoo Oprah (Yeah... Hood Oprah Winfrey With Gray Hair... And She's Into Voodoo)

Jenny (Original Character)

Lyssa (Original Character)

Latifah (Hot Queen Latifah From The 90's Sitcom Living Single)

And Many Others

All of the characters will be sprinkled in throughout the series in different ways... They won't all be in each chapter

This series is loosely inspired by my favorite show ever Seinfeld... It's similar and different... See if you can spot all of the Seinfeld references in it

New York City... In the elevator...

"Mmmmmmmmm. Yeahhhhhh."

"My favorite pussy ever."

"Good. Hahaha. My favorite dick ever. Haha."

"Damn right."

We both laugh.

Kelly and I are making out against the back wall of the elevator on our way up to our apartment. I already shut down the elevator so we could have some happy horndog hubby/wife fun.

We're kissing hard. Very passionately mouth fucking like mad. Grinding all up on each other.

Kelly's long blonde hair smells like roses and honey again too. Damn, she's got the sexiest hair ever! Sexy hair... sniff it, fuck it, I don't care. Ha.

I've got Kelly's pink tank top up. Her all natty 34FFs pulled out of her white satin bra. I'm squeezing the shit outta them. Slapping them too. Being extra rough with them just like my bitch loves. Her nipples are so fucking hard and flickering so fucking much. She's moaning viciously and sucking on her perfect lips. Fuck! It's time to fuck!.

Kelly's got her long, silky smooth legs wrapped tight around my waist, pulling me in as far as fucking possible. We're grunting and groaning non stop. Nasty and extra loud.

I'm banging her against the wall. My fourteen inch, fat and veiny cock thumping away at her wet milf pussy. Taking it. Owning it. Fucking fast and hard and deep and intense and fucking her so damn good!!

Long blonde haired mega goddess Kelly's wildly playing with my gray and dark brown hair, and screaming blissfully into my mouth as we kiss like maniacs. Fucking like them too. Our bodies heaving and throbbing against each other's brutally hard. Fuck!! Fucking my bitch is the absolute fucking best!

We keep going. Kelly squirts. We keep fucking. Her cream leaking out of her cunt, dripping all over the fucking floor. We keep going.

Our spit rolling from our fucking mouths. Our kissing heating up even more.

We keep going. Kelly's pussy vice gripping my gigantic shaft, pumping the living fuck out of it as she ravenously fucks me while I'm ravenously fucking her. We keep going.

We finally both cum. My hips driving my dick so fucking fast up my wife's screaming like a banshee twat. We both growl happily too into each other's mouths. Still kissing extra messy. Hot as hot gets. Still fucking. Still grinding all up on each other.

Kelly's massive load of cum and mine mix in her pussy and flood the shit out of it. The thick, gooey excess splatters all over the floor under us. Fuck! It's messy and hot!

We both laugh again. Wildly kissing some more, then Kelly drops down to the cum soaked floor and sucks me. Deepthroat sucking me dry. Those lips of gold rolling right down my thick veins covered shaft. Sucking me down her throat. She sucks me intensely, desperately trying to get out every last drop of very creamy sperm left in me.

Kelly smiles up at me and laughs with my dick down her throat. We both laugh. Both happy as shit. Both still sexually steaming for each other.

I pull Kelly up and kiss her again. Smooth and loving this time. Our lips smacking. Kelly's cum flavored tongue seductively swirl fucking mine.

Then, I spend roughly five minutes or so chewing and sucking on those perfect natural melons of hers. Sucking them so enthusiastically hard and deep.

Kelly hugs me tight to her unmatched rack, and smiles away. Moaning and cheering me on as I devour the fuck out of the greatest tits of all fucking time.

After we get ourselves together, I press the button again to start back the elevator. We both look at each other and laugh once again. Knowing they've been trying to fix the elevator the whole damn time... and we aren't giving a hot fuck shit about it either. Ha.

We kiss once more, then the doors open.

"What happened to the elevator? You guys, OK?" Our neighbor across the hall Kramer asks us. Dude's wearing his gray bathrobe, and smoking a huge cigar. He's got a paper in his hand. He probably just took ours.

Kelly and I look at each other, and very playfully grin. She answers for us.

"Oh yeah! We're very, very, very OK. Hahaha."

I just grin and nod at that as we walk out of the elevator. Naughty bitch. Ha.

...

While Kelly's fixing lunch, I head down to my chick Jenny's apartment. Jenny is a hair stylist. She does Kelly's hair. Her salon is right next door to our building, but she does special appointments out of her apartment too. She's a cool chick, and everybody likes her, so the manager let's her do it.

One of her special appointments is me. All though im not getting a haircut. I am getting some trim though. (Smirking)

"Mmmmmmmmmmmm. Yum! My god, I love your huge cock, James. God! It's so delicious. Mmmmmmmmmmmm." Jenny's on her knees in front of the barber chair, blowing me. I'm sitting back and watching it in the wall to wall mirror. Smirking away. Smoking a blunt. Cool as shit.

Jenny is one of my favorite side bitches. She's recently divorced. In her fifties like me. Sexy as hell. Dark curly hair. Very succulent, full lips. Awesome rack too. Big and natural. Great cook as well.

I'm bouncing her head in my lap and she sucks me. Those full red lips sucking me in. Tightly pursed on my mammoth shaft. Her spit making my shaft all glossy and wet. Her tongue bathing the underside of it as she sucks.

Her very sexy, wet and creamy, cherry red lipstick is smearing perfectly all over my dick. My balls too. She moves back and forth between very sensually sucking my dick, and very heatedly slurping my big nuts. Damn. A top notch blowjob.

I pass Jenny the blunt when she climbs into the chair, and slides my cock up her already wet milf cunt. She moans extra, extra slutty as I slowly enter that tight twat.

Jenny gently lowers herself down onto my enormous rod. Her pussy palpitating all over it. Her slutty juices lubing it. She screams out when I get about five inches deep. Her very satisfied smile makes my dick jump in her which gets another very happy scream outta her.

Smoke's rolling from her mouth as she starts fucking my dick. I let her handle the duties this time. It's all on her.

I grab her big soft titties through her tight red top and start kneading away. I rip open her blouse and yank those beauties out of her white bra next. Damn. What sexy milf tits. Still perky. Very full. Pouty too. Fuck! A world class milf rack.

I grab them and shake them and grope the shit outta them as Jenny fucks my dick. Slow and steady. Bouncing on me. Really loving every damn second of it too. She's taking her time. Smoke rolls from those lipstick smeared lips. Her slutty smile gets bigger. She bounces a little faster on me. Her luscious milf pussy sucking in another inch of fat dick. Gripping and pumping it tight. My clear precum shoots out all over Jenny's heaving pink folds. She cums. Really hard. Squirting bazooka hard on my dick.

"FUCK!!!...... OH MY GOD!!!!!!"

Her head's back. Her mouth open. The blunt barely hanging in her mouth. Her body's shivering all the way through her Big O.

I smirk away and shake the hot shit outta those titties. Groping them extra, extra rough.

Jenny screams out again, and smiles so pretty and wide. So blissfully happy with me and my humongous fucking mature dick.

A few minutes later, Jenny's cumming again. Screaming. Moaning. Grunting. Purring. All sexy as hell. Bouncing faster on my dick too. Her brutally pulsating pussy death gripping my shaft. Beating all over it. Really fucking it good. Grinding on it, then bouncing on it as she squirts all over it once again. Her excess cum spurting out all over the chair.

We end up with Jenny bent over the counter in front of us, me behind her fucking her hard and fast as we watch ourselves in the mirror. We're puffing and passing and fucking, and she's cumming again. So much pussy nut. It shoots all over my already drowned dick, and spurts hard out of her pussy, splashing me and dripping all over the floor. Nasty sexy rocks, dude.

Jenny's hot milf body shakes and shivers non stop. She's in complete sexual nirvana. Screaming. Shaking. Squirting. Getting railed by the biggest dick she's ever fucking seen. Her big tits smacking together loudly under her.

I cum in her very sexy pussy. Dumping a fat load of jizz up there while she smiles at me in the mirror, smoke flying from her very sexy mouth. She's rubbing her thrusting clit between her legs. Grunting and moaning extra loud. Extra creampie nasty.

I just start pissing. Right up her twat. That gets a very happy scream outta my big titty milf bitch.

She pulls away, and very quickly spins around. Leaning over and sucking my pissing monster.

Jenny loves my piss. In her. On her. Anywhere I wanna put it. She even has a couple of bottles of it saved in her fridge. Yep. She's a freak for me for damn sure! Ha.

Jenny slurps my piss down. Making sure to do it as loud and as nasty as she can, knowing I love that shit. She bobs away on my dick. As happy and slutty as they get.

Jenny's got a mess to clean up when I leave. At least it was a helluva fun mess to make. Ha.

After we finish, and clean up, I sample Jenny's newest batch of chili. She's known for her chili. It's delicious. Fucking delicious. I down two bowls of it, and three beers, then I kiss her, and split.

It's lunch time with the wife time. Can't miss that. Haha.

Later...

We're at the coffee shop down the street. Kelly and her best friend Beth are talking in a booth. I'm getting some blow from the cook... in more ways than one.

Nia (WWE Superstar Nia Jax) called me and told me she had some spare coke if I wanted it. She already knew my answer to that. So, Kelly and I headed down here to have a beer... and pick up some coke. Simple. Ha.

"Yummy! God, I love sucking this cock! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm." The 270 pound sexy Samoan cook is on her knees in the supple room, sucking me off. Bobbing on my white meat stick. Slurping away. Those hot, slutty lips of hers making the sexiest love to my extremely hard white boner.

Nia's moaning extra happy as she sucks, and swallows down my neverending stream of slimy precum. This big bitch loves sucking dick. She absolutely loves it.

Out front...

"Yeah. The idiot got another parking ticket. That's like twelve this year already. Dumbass." Bad ass blonde BBW Beth shakes her long blonde haired... thick and wavy hair... head in disgust at her boyfriend Kramer. They live together right across the hall from us.

Kelly chuckles. My best friend Toi walks in and greets Kelly and Beth. She sits down beside Beth, and orders a mocha latte. Then, they get down to some juicy gossip.

"Yep. Right there in the car. He just took it out and acted like nothing was up. Which at that moment... nothing was." Toi giggles. They all do.

Toi's talking about her date last night. An old buddy of mine that I hadn't seen in a long time. I set them up, but it got weird supposedly.

"He just took it out? No making out or anything?" Beth asks.

"Nope."

"He just took it out?" Kelly gets in on it.

"Yeah. Out. He just took... it out." Toi giggles again. "It was a really nice dick, but we were just talking, and I look down and it's there. Out."

"Was it big at least?" Kelly curiously raises her eyebrows as she sips her beer.

"Yeah, was it a Big Daddy or a little wee wee?" Beth jokes. They all laugh.

"Hmmmm... In between. Not really big, but not small either. It's was very pretty. I'll give him that. Very, very pretty." Toi plays coy. A sly smirk forming on her perfect chocolate face.

"OK, OK. Enough of the foreplay. Did you suck it?" Kelly gets right to the point. One of her specialties. Playfully bouncing her eyebrows at Toi as she drinks her beer.

"Yeah... inquiring minds want to know, slut. So spill it." Beth teases.

"Well......."

"That's a yes." Beth adds. She takes a big bite from her sandwich, and winks naughtily at Kelly.

"Spit or swallow?" Kelly makes it quick and gets right to the kinky point again. Love her. Ha.

"Spit. It tasted really funky. I almost puked. It was actually pretty gross. Such a sexy dick, but such nasty cum. Yuck!" Toi laughs again as the waitress brings her coffee.

"Such a letdown. A hot cock and nasty cum. Such a waste." Kelly chuckles. "... On second thought, it can be kinda hot though. Just the whole nasty vibe of it all. Almost puking. Swallowing such gross cum. If you think about it, it's kinda hot." Kelly laughs, and winks mischievously at Toi.

"Because you're such a cum slut." Beth teases Kelly.

"And, you're not?" My babe strikes right back. Beth sticks her tongue out at her, and smirks. They're both cum hounds by the way.

Back in the storage room...

"Mmmmmmmmmmmm. More! More!! God yes!" Nia gets a fat facial for her efforts. She's got her head back while I jerk off all over her face. Her sexy Samoan face. Fat globs of semen splatter her. I splash her long dark hair. Her forehead. Her nose. Her cheeks. Her lips. Her chin. And, I finish in her mouth. A couple of fat spurts of white man cum in there for good cum dumping measure.

Nia very happily sucks me dry as my sperm rolls all over her face.

I pull out of her mouth and rub my giant white dick all over her sperm covered Samaon face, then shove right back into her mouth. Nia moans blissfully content, and sucks my extra creamy sperm off of my cock. With such tender loving cum whore care too. She's smiling. Orally loving all over my dick.

Nia pulls off of my dick, then raises it, and beautifully slurps my balls, then rubs my cock between her neck and shoulder, then sucks me right back in. So completely in love with my huge ass white dick. Sexy bitch. One big ass, sexy Samoan bitch.

Back out front...

Beth headed out. She and Kramer are going to the movies. They're going to see Death Blow. I think Kramer's filming it for some buddy of his to sell on the street.

When I walk over to the booth, my best friend Spence is sitting beside Toi talking to the ladies. I sit down beside Kelly, get a big, hot bitch kiss from her, and get filled in on their conversation.

"Jon Voight??" I ask. Chuckling at my pasty white nerd friend.

"Yeah." Spence beams with pride.

Kelly is perplexed by Spence. "You bought a car that was owned by Jon Voight? Why? Just because of that?" My babe gets down to it.

"No... Not just because of that." Spence is balls deep in denial.

"Yes. Yes. Just because of that. You enjoy the fact that your driving a celebrity's car." I add.

"Well... yeah. It's cool. It's Jon Voight's LeBaron. Jon Voight! From Midnight Cowboy! Angelina Joile's father!... ANACONDA!" Dude's happy as shit. Grinning from pasty white ear to pasty white ear.

While the ladies laugh at my buddy, I keep it real. "Dude, Jon Voight or not. Angelina Jolie's father or not. It's 2025 and you bought a fucking LeBaron."

"Yeah but... IT'S JON VOIGHT'S LEBARON!!" Spence is so fucking happy. I give up. No point raining on his celebrity crush parade any longer.

"Where's Jalande?" Toi asks.

Jalande (Amateur Ebony XXX Model Jalande Jaguar) is Spence's black girlfriend. They live together. She's got a truly massive and truly beautiful rack on her too. 38K fake tits. She's way too hot for Spence. Nobody can figure out how he got her. My best guess is they're both huge superhero nerds. Jalande fucking loves Superman. She's got a tattoo of him on her left shoulder.

Spence is all about cosplay and shit like that. I'm sure he dresses up like Superman alot and bangs her.

"She's working. She's been working alot lately. I hardly ever see her anymore. She's either at work or at your place helping Kelly out."

Kelly and I look at each other and mischievously smirk.

Kelly covers for me. Jalande and I are best fuck buddies. We're extremely close... in the most fun way. But, she tells Spence that she's helping Kelly out with different stuff whenever she and I are hooking up.

Spence tries to keep his girlfriends seperate from his other friends. Not because I bang all of them behind his back. It's more so because of something he calls worlds colliding. He says relationship Spence and independant Spence can't coexist. He thinks if his girlfriend... and relationship Spence... hangs out with us it will kill independant Spence. Yeah... He's a whacko. But, he's my friend.

Over at the office Jalande works at...

"Yeah, baby. Take that dick. That big fat dick. Yeahhh." Jalande's very fat boss rams his very fat white dick up her sweet black milf pussy.

She's on his desk. One chocolate leg on her boss' very broad white shoulders. The other spread out. He's pumping away at Jalande's chocolate snatch like he does every day at around the same time.

They have a deal worked out. Jalande gives her boss a hot fuck everyday, and he gave her a big raise, and he gives her weekly rewards too for the fuck. Cash. Jewelry. Time off. Whatever she wants.

Those massive chocolate knockers are wobbling on Jalande's chest. She's playing with them. Moaning away as her boss rams that fat white dick up her faster and faster. Dude has very good stamina. They've been going at it for more than an hour. Jalande blew him and ate one load. He fucked her chocolate tits too. Now, they're fucking hot and heavy on his desk.

His huge white gut is laying on Jalande's stomach. Jiggling hard as he bangs her hard. She coos happily. Smirking wide as she knows what this is getting her. A good fuck and $2,500.

When the fat dude cum dumps, Jalande's head is hanging off of his desk. Between his fat legs. She's sucking his big ass white nuts while he jerks off all over her gigantic chocolate jugs. His gut shaking. His seven inch, very thick white dick too. He covered those melons with pearly white ball goo. Grunting and groaning loud as fuck. Jalande just smiles.... and sucks his balls.

Her boss hands Jalande her bonus for the week, then she gets dressed, and walks out of the office counting her money. Cocky as shit. Smirking wide. Smoking a blunt. She's a boss for sure. Jalande's all about her bag.

...

That's it for chapter 1. Check in for chapter 2 when Fat Bastard makes his debut... Fat Bastard!

By: DickThePimp