Many apologies for taking so long to write yet another chapter of A Mother's Lust. I'm still working on this series, and I thank you all for your patience. Life has certainly been a bit of a rollercoaster these past few months. I hope you enjoy this, and I hope I can write Ch. 14 in less time than this one.
***
I didn't wait for Karla to reach out to me. The mental image of Marilyn subjugating Karla haunted me. It was too much to bear for even one night. The following Sunday, the day after the potluck, I woke up feeling like shit, knowing full well I would need to do something about it.
Contrary to the many, many times I had felt like shit since the start of my affair with Karla, this time I felt that way for something other than the simple repulsive nature of adultery.
This
time, my guilt gnawed at me due to my abandonment of Karla when she had been at her most vulnerable. In hindsight, it felt stupid to have believed her threats. In hindsight, I'd been an idiot more worried about sex with her than about her own wellbeing. Even if this was Karla, and traditional love and loyalty were something she was probably incapable of feeling or appreciating, it felt
wrong
.
In fairness, I didn't know how to make it up to Karla; she wasn't one for pampering. The thought of her accepting even a hug seemed almost absurd. Still, my first action upon waking up was to text her. I had to do
something.
My fears of Marilyn revealing the affair, my acute awareness of Karla's nastiness, and the uncertainty about her son having reached a breaking point - all of them resurfaced as I typed out the first message.
"Karla, we must meet today"
I had expected a stern message. Maybe she would tell me to fuck off. Maybe she would directly demand that I never spoke to her again. The dread I felt as I read 'Karla is typing...' was almost as bad as the guilt that had been eating me alive since the previous afternoon. Her first message broke the tension the way I least expected. Multiple messages followed, none of them showing any hints that this was the same woman I had witnessed breaking down the day before.
"Look at you, all bossy
"Tired of waiting for me to get horny?
"You haven't forgotten I'm in charge, have you?"
Her games had a minimal effect on me, this once. The same applied to the wave of emojis she spammed afterwards. I was too worried to be annoyed. Too stressed. Too damn guilty.
"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry," I wrote.
"Wtf are you talking about?" came her replies. "Are you drunk?
"Looking for a pity fuck?
"Apologizing for being out of line?
"Kinky. I like it
"Go on, please"
Was she genuinely confused, or orchestrating a scenario to have me grovel before her? Though I couldn't tell, at that moment I felt an overwhelming sense that groveling was exactly what I deserved.
"I'm sorry for leaving the potluck. I hate myself for it. You needed me there. I failed you. You gave me everything and I failed you."
There was another moment of nothingness, before Karla started typing. I ran my hands through my hair, trying to keep my breathing under control. Part of me still expected this playfulness to be just a disguise, a ploy to lure me into a false sense of security. I expected her to drop the act at any moment and tear my heart apart with an official end to our relationship.
"I thought I told you to leave"
A thinking emoji popped up. It felt more genuine than all the other ones had been, somehow. Sounds ridiculous, I know.
"You did. But I shouldn't have"
"Have I ever punished you for following my orders?"
The answer to that question was an obvious 'yes'. She seemed to realize it too, given the message that followed.
"Have I ever been mad at you for doing what I say?"
And this, I'll admit, was a good point. Karla was unlike many other women I'd fallen in love with in that regard too. Or at least she seemed to be. I can remember having multiple fights with other girls precisely because I had done as they'd told me. Despite being so cruel, Karla was at least straightforward.
"No. But I still need to meet up with you"
"My son isn't around, though"
That unexpected reply caught me off-guard.
"What?"
"To watch us!
"We can't stop now!
"We're so close!"
I had bigger things on my mind than contesting whatever twisted logic she was employing. So I kept powering forward.
"We can skip the sex, this once
"I just want to talk to you"
"WHAT?"
Karla unleashed a torrent of angry emojis that hardly felt genuine.
"Why the fuck would I agree to that?"
"I thought you didn't want sex because he isn't around"
"I always want sex, Peter
"Don't you already know that?"
I found myself sighing in front of the phone.
"Let's just meet up. We can have sex depending on how you're feeling"
"Hmmm
"Only if I get to choose exactly how we have sex"
An emoji sticking its tongue out taunted me on the screen. I didn't even need that little yellow face to figure out I'd regret agreeing to this. Karla would probably shove something up my ass, probably an electric wand. Or worse, she'd want us to do something in public. Neither option was appealing, especially when I was more worried than I was horny.
I spent a long moment considering my options. I didn't want to haggle. I didn't want to give up on the idea of meeting her. I didn't want to be a willing victim to Karla either, though. I ran a hand through my hair again, then finally replied.
"Deal
"But we must talk first"
Karla typed out an answer after a while.
"Jesus, Peter
"You make it sound like you're about to die"
Knowing Karla, giving her free reign to do with me as she pleased could very well mean that was true. Still, I was steadily losing my patience with her nonchalant attitude towards our relationship and everything that had happened the previous afternoon.
"Just promise me we'll talk things through"
"You're still going on about this? I said we would, didn't I?"
"Promise me. We talk first" I had to insist.
"Then we fuck however I want
"Fine
"I promise" Karla's messages arrived in quick succession.
