As I had already predicted beforehand, that little adventure with Betty, Karla and her son was the last time I got to enjoy those family escapades for a while. When I was dragged off to college, I had failed to predict just how addicted I'd become to my friend's mother and her insanity.
I found my mind wandering off during each and every class. I got unusually turned on when I saw any red curls on campus. Particular intonations of the word 'fuck' were enough to give me a hard-on. And, worst of all, I was almost certain Karla
knew
all of this. The nerve.
I'd grown so paranoid at this point that I even assumed her radio silence was part of some twisted plan she'd conjured up just to torment me. I did not hear from Betty either. Had her husband grown a pair of eyes? Worse; had Karla convinced him to grow a pair of eyes? These were the unsettling thoughts that plagued my mind as I found myself stuck in an urban center I had no interest in exploring.
I've wondered often enough if those months I spent adrift at college couldn't have saved me from Karla's clutches. Could I have found a nice girl, grown accustomed to a loving relationship that fosters trust and warmth instead of adrenaline and paranoia? Could I have learned not to pursue married women and instead value a properly built relationship?
I'd be lying if I said those questions didn't haunt me even as I was wasting those very same months. Every time I turned on the phone to find no new words from the one woman I craved, those questions ran through my head at full speed. And yet I never managed to move on. I grew resentful, depressed and borderline reclusive. My stupid pride did not even let me reach out to either Karla or Betty. At some points, my routine was no more than a grim loop of heading to school and marching back home.
Things changed when I woke up to a series of texts ringing rapidly on my bedside table. We were in November, at a point during which my social life was so inexistent I did not even bother to toggle sleep mode on my cellphone. It was only when I saw Karla's name on my screen that I really woke up. I still remember how my heart pounded as the messages kept coming. I almost didn't mind the torrents of emojis that interrupted each message. I missed her
that
much.
"Peter!
"Hi!
"How's my favorite boy toy?
"Any married teachers there for you to fuck?
"Big news!
"Come home next weekend
"We'll fuck!
"Lots!"
The messages kept pouring in. I stared at nothing for a few minutes while the phone vibrated in my hands, its screen being the only thing illuminating my room. The thing about catching sight of what you want after losing it is that it reminds you of how badly you've dropped the ball in the meantime. I hesitantly read the remaining messages, trying my best to cut through the emoji walls Karla was dumping on me.
"Get here Friday
"Skip classes if you have to
"You must be here by Saturday, midday"
My sleepy fingers managed to type out a single answer:
"Why?"
"Wait for my son's message"
That filled me with some newfound dread. Those months of solitude hadn't been good for much, but remembering how cruel I'd grown had certainly given me a new sense of disappointment with myself. Had I been less of shitty person, perhaps my friend would have given me a respite from my solitude by occasionally checking up on me during that time.
Instead, he'd been turned into yet another toy for Karla's amusement, and not one with any particular enjoyment to be had on the side. I could complain about the risks and the pain and the mind games. Yet, after becoming Karla's toy, I'd still been able to have sex with two gorgeous women. That was a deal her son would not be getting. Needless to say, the pity and shame I felt at that point did not make me exactly thrilled to hear from him again, even knowing well enough that those feelings would evaporate instantly once I got my hands on Karla.
I remember being halfway through a history lesson on the American century when my friend's message arrived. This is, curiously, one of the few things I still remember from that first semester. Unlike the two previous months, I felt motivated enough to pay attention merely thanks to having heard from Karla. I hated myself for even letting such a thing influence my mood and productivity. The text, while clearly not enthusiastic, gave me far more clues about Karla's plans than her emoji-riddled spam.
"Family potluck this Saturday. Ur invited. Bring food."
I didn't doubt for a second which family member had actually invited me. At that point, the gloominess of early morning had worn off. I felt happy. I felt
excited
for another round of wild sex with my friend's mom. The prospect of his whole family gathering around a single apartment did not even concern me, such was my optimism.
I remember giving it my all for the rest of the week. I stopped skipping lessons. I showed up on time. I took notes. Though these things may sound trivial for anyone serious about finishing college, they could not be further from what I had been doing until then. When I got on the train to head back to my hometown, I could hardly keep myself from smiling.
"On the train," I opted to text her.
Karla gave me a predictable response in the shape of a wall of eggplant emojis. I couldn't help but chuckle.
That
was the extent of my good mood. I thought of texting Betty too, but ended up dissuading myself from it. Perhaps bumping into her at the potluck without warning would be the most exciting option. At that point what I