'He's a pig!' I complained to my friend, Susan, as we sipped our coffee at the local Costa. 'He's certainly not the man I married.'
'I think we've all seen what he can be like Kathryn; I don't know how you cope with him,' she replied.
'John was so different when we married Sue, but he's piled on a massive amount of weight and he drinks so much that I swear he might be an alcoholic.' I paused, mulling over the last few years that had seen my life with John deteriorate so much. 'It's embarrassing going anywhere with him where normal people might be because he ends up so drunk and he's so big now that I swear he hasn't even seen his own dick in years!'
'I did wonder how you guys managed to have sex without you getting crushed,' Sue laughed.
'Oh, we haven't had sex in ages,' I scoffed. 'It must be close to twenty years now since I last had sex, not that I'd want to have sex with him anymore.'
'I don't know how you cope Kathryn, I know I couldn't live without sex,' Sue sighed.
'It's easy when that fat drunk is your only option,' I laughed.
'Why don't you leave him then? God knows, you have enough cause!'
'You don't understand Sue,' I cried, 'I'm too old to start again. I just have to accept that this is my life and I'm stuck with it.'
'There are always alternatives Kathryn so just because your current life is terrible, it doesn't mean that you can't find a different life.'
Sue and I had been friends for about five years, having worked together before I retired earlier in the year. Having just turned sixty years old I'd decided that I'd had enough of the rat race and wanted to relax, though relaxation was hard to come by with John at home all the time. He claimed he'd also retired but the reality was that his drinking and weight meant he couldn't keep a job so was effectively unemployed. He was a few years older than me and was a heart attack waiting to happen with his way of life. He certainly wasn't the man I'd married forty years previously and although it might sound harsh, I simply didn't love him anymore and hadn't for a long time. It didn't help that although I'd now entered my sixties, I remained active, ate healthily and I was in pretty good shape.
'You still need to get out Kathryn,' Sue replied. 'Look, we're having a few friends over for dinner next Saturday; why don't you come over and enjoy yourself?'
'What about the pig?' I asked.
'Bring him along if you have to, it's OK. He'll be passed out in a corner before long anyway and I'll make sure you're not left alone.'
'OK Sue, I'll come,' I eventually responded. 'If you're sure you don't mind John being an embarrassment, I'd love to get out for a change.'
It was never entirely pleasant going anywhere with John, especially with civilised people but I reasoned that pretty much everyone I knew was aware of John and I generally received sympathy for having to put up with him. I'd often thought about leaving him but whenever I came close to such a move, I always backed out, too afraid to be alone. I doubted he'd be able to cope at all without me.
Sue was a wonderful friend and I had always felt I could trust her implicitly but as I drove home to the pig, I was saddened by the fact that she had poked a bit of a raw nerve when she'd mentioned sex. I had no desire at all to have sex with John but even at 60 years old, I did miss having sex and had done for a very long time. We hadn't even slept in the same room for the last ten years but at least once I had my own room I was able to secretly buy a vibrator to give me some sort of pleasure. It was a long time, that was for sure and at my age I knew I may not get to experience sex again but at least I had good friends like Sue and I hoped that Saturday would provide a brief distraction to my daily woes.
Unfortunately, when Saturday finally arrived, John did decide to tag along, probably because he saw an opportunity for free booze. He'd had a few before we even left the house and as soon as we arrived at Sue's place, he immediately helped himself to a large single malt while ignoring the normal social niceties.
'I'm so sorry Sue,' I said, immediately wishing I hadn't bothered coming.
'Don't be silly Kathryn,' she reassured me, 'it's all absolutely fine.' She called her husband over from another couple. 'Paul, can you make sure John knows where that bottle of Glenmorangie is as I'm sure he'd appreciate such a fine scotch?'
''Certainly darling,' he replied cheerfully, moving immediately over to where John was already helping himself to a second drink.
'Don't encourage him Sue!' I protested, sure that the evening would just get worse.
'Don't you worry Kathryn,' she smiled, 'I know what I'm doing.'
Paul is a very kind and considerate man and I'd always considered Sue to be a lucky woman having such a husband. He had only recently turned fifty but kept himself in very good shape and even at that age, he was still a very good looking man. More than once I'd looked at Paul and envied Sue for being able to have such a man make love to her while I only had John. The reality was that for pretty much the whole of the five years I'd known Sue and Paul, my sexual fantasies had entirely centred on Paul ravishing me. My jealousy aside, they made a good couple. Men seem to age better than women but even at forty seven, Sue was a beautiful woman. She had silky blonde hair, smooth skin, a slim figure with long legs and full breasts so I guess Paul was as lucky as Sue. I was interrupted from my mental undressing of Paul by Sue, who was wanting to introduce me to someone.
'Kathryn, let me introduce you to Dan who has agreed to be your escort for the evening. He's an architect, unattached and has been keen to look after you this evening since I told him about your situation.'
I was faced with a young man of between forty and forty five with a warm smile and very well dressed. I began to wonder if every other man in the world was gorgeous or if it just seemed that way because I was stuck with the pig that was John. Either way, Dan was very easy on the eye and I was flattered that such a man was prepared to waste his time on me.
'I'm pleased to meet you,' I said, shaking his hand. 'Thank you for so gallantly offering to be my escort but you really don't have to tie yourself down to an old woman like me when I'm sure you can find more appealing company.'
'Not at all Kathryn, I'm sure you're captivating company and what sort of man would I be if I ignored your ......' he paused for thought, '.....situation.'
I glanced over towards John, who was busy helping himself to another large scotch.
'Yes,' I replied slowly, 'and not a very good situation.'