You Were Always On My Mind

Note from Jake Rivers:

This is my sixth semi-annual "invitational." The initial one was based on the Statler Brother's song, "This Bed of Rose's." The second used the Marty Robbins El Paso trilogy: "El Paso" "El Paso City " and "Faleena." The third had stories based on the various versions of "Maggie May" or "Maggie Mae." The fourth invitational was based on any Country & Western song and the fifth on songs by Merle Haggard.

The current invitational is based on any song written or performed by Willie Nelson

(My thanks to Jake Rivers for letting me participate in this. My song pick is (obviously) "You Were Always on my Mind". I have removed almost all of the lyrics as Lit has requested I do before the story can be posted.)

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"You were always on my mind."

They're right you know. When you have a heart attack it DOES feel like an elephant is sitting on your chest. The pain is excruciating. I actually was happy when I finally passed out. That was after Sharon had made me chew up and swallow an aspirin and got me propped up so I could breathe while she called 911. It was due to her efforts that I'm laying in this hospital bed with tubes running in and out of me instead of on a cold metal gurney in the hospital morgue.

Oh, Sharon is my wife of 23 years by the way. This is where I'm supposed to tell you how we met and how gorgeous she is and what our first time having sex was like and all the rest of it. Well, I'm not going to do that. I mean really, our meeting was over two decades ago. How stale is that for news? And as for our sex life, it's none of your business, except I will say that I've always been pretty darned satisfied. I hope she has been too, although that's one of the things I have been worrying about since I started thinking.

Sharon is no Greek Goddess. She doesn't have long blonde hair and a killer body and legs that go on forever. She's a bit short and she's put on some weight over the years and if you look closely you can see the stretch marks from the three kids we have. Her butt's a little big and her breasts sag a little. So what? I ain't no Adonis myself; just a middle-aged man fighting middle-aged spread and hoping when I brush my hair in the morning that no more of it's fallen out.

Mind you I think she's gorgeous. She IS beautiful and if you try to tell me different or laugh at her I'll do my damndest to knock your block off. The only thing is...

I came around a little a couple of times after the bypass surgery that saved my life. I wasn't fully conscious but I knew whose hand was holding mine. And when I did wake all the way up Sharon was asleep in a chair beside the bed with her head resting on the mattress where I could touch her hair. And I thought how lucky I am to have her and how beautiful she is and it hit me. When was the last time I told her those things? Oh sure when we were dating and when we were newly-weds, but in the last twenty years how often have I reminded her of how special she is to me?

I think about how much I was on the road for all those years. It seemed the bosses were always sending me to fix this problem or that. I'd work so hard and then stagger back to my hotel room and collapse into bed, hardly stopping to grab a bite, much less call Sharon. And she was balancing her own job and the kids; working mom and soccer mom both. Yet when I came home she always had a smile and a kiss for me.

There was the night of our twentieth anniversary. We had elaborate plans. Then I got caught up in a computer crash at the home office that could have put us out of business if it wasn't solved. I barely had time to call her and tell her I would be late. We worked our asses off to fix the problem. Then it was done and only then did I realize it was three in the morning. I got home and found Sharon asleep on the couch; still all dressed up in her formal evening wear, needing only to slip on the heels beside her to be ready to go. How many times did I disappoint her like that over the years? Too many to count.

We had planned a getaway to Japan in conjunction with a business conference that I was attending there. I promised her I had handled every detail. Every detail except that I forgot to check to see if her passport was current. It wasn't and she couldn't go. Some might say that wasn't my fault, that she should have caught that. But I was the one who grandly assured her I had everything covered.

I'd be on the road and then I'd come home and spend the weekend in front of the TV. Oh, I'd make an effort, especially if one of the kids had something going on but basically it was cut the grass and watch basketball. I ate out all the time on the road so I wanted to stay home. Sharon is a wonderful cook. But then she cooked every meal every day. Would it have killed me to take her out once in a while?

And now, damn it, I said I wasn't going to talk about it, but there's our sex life. It dwindled sure over the years, starting when the kids came but it's always been good. For me. She is always ready when I am and initiates sex on her own quite often. She's not wild about anal but neither am I. Call me old-fashioned but I love to bury myself in her pussy and ride her sweet body until I explode in her. And the blow jobs she gives are great. I'm always so satisfied. But is she? I've always just assumed she is.

I touched her hair and she woke up. For a moment I had to grin. Her glasses were askew and she forgot to take them off before she tried to rub the sleep from her eyes. She couldn't throw her arms around my neck because of the machines but she tried. Then she sat and held my hand again while the doctors and nurses fussed over me.

Then all the medical staff was gone and she was holding a straw to my lips so I could drink the coldest ice water I have ever had in my life. And right then I made up my mind. Things were going to be different.

She kept telling me to hush; that we could talk later. But I insisted and she listened. I reminded her of the times I had let her down, that I had put her second. And I swore that was never going to happen again. From now on she would be first again in my life.

I looked at her. And the last thing I expected to happen did happen. She chuckled; a sound that quickly grew into a deep belly laugh. I thought she was going to have hysterics and I was just about hurt that she took my promise so lightly. Finally she calmed down.

She reached out and touched my cheek and all the love in the world was in that touch.

"You goose," she said, and I have never been called a name with so much affection.

"How little you know yourself. I always knew why you worked so hard. You did it for me; you did it for our children. You did it to give us a nice home, nice clothes, good schools. You made yourself the 'go to' man for your company and I have always been so proud of you for it. MY husband was the man your entire company depended on when things got rough.

"Yes you missed our twentieth anniversary. Big deal. Don't you remember that next weekend you arranged for my parents to keep the kids and you whisked me away to the shore? A night walk on the sand with the ocean lapping around our ankles was worth any ten formal dinners. And where in heaven's name did you find a dozen roses at three in the morning to give me when you did get home?

"Okay I would have liked to have made that trip to Japan. But baby you were so crushed when you realized what you had done. And all the things you brought me back from Japan, which trip you cut short so you could rush back home. I still have that silk kimono you brought me. Remember how you helped me on with it? And how many times have you helped me take it off?

"As for not telling me how much you love me, now that's plain silly. Maybe not in words but for twenty-three years you have worked your fingers to the bone to SHOW me. I am your wife; your woman. Remember the time that jerk grabbed my ass at the company party and then grabbed my arm when I tried to slap him? You stormed over like an avenging angel. He was four inches taller and fifty pounds heavier and he took one look at your face and headed for the hills.

"As for our sex life you have always been the only lover I have ever wanted, the one that can please me and make me orgasm again and again. You always take your time and you don't HAVE to ask because you work as hard on making me happy in bed as you work at everything else. Even the stolen quickies when we had only a few minutes away from the kids have always put a smile on my face for days. Because it wasn't just the sex, as good as that has been over the years, it was the sharing, the closeness.

"You have been a wonderful husband for all these years. And if you think I'm going to let you slip away now you are sadly mistaken buster. Now you get well, because when you get home I'm going to be waiting for you; my husband, my stud, my MAN. And if you play your cards right I'll be waiting for you in that kimono."

"You were always on my mind."

(The End)