"You want to do what?" Sue asked puzzled as Mike laid out a brochure on the table.
"I want to go camping" Mike said.
"Uhhhhhhhh we are not really the camping type Mike."
"We don't have to be he said, a guy at work told me about this great place where the camper is set up when we get there, all we have to do eat, sleep, read, hike, and relax in nature."
"Relaxing does sound nice Sue said." "It's settled then I'm booking it."
As they were packing for the trip, Sue could not help but laugh inside when she saw Mike trying to put his suitcase together. He looked like he ordered every gadget on Amazon that you could if you looked up "geek goes on safari." He had bug nets, zappers, different kinds of sprays and ointments, inflatable this, multi-tool that, it was rather adorable to her.
Mike was the epitome of an I.T. nerd. He was shorter, wire thin, glasses, brains, but no physical skills. They met in college and she fell in love with his quick wit and undeterred adoration for her.
They married young and had 2 kids right away, so even though they were only 40, both kids were grown and off to college themselves already. Most of Sue's free time was spent reading, and most of Mike's was spent in comic books or video games. This was sure to be an adventure for them.
After they checked in at the main office, they headed back to the remote part of the campground that the camper was set up in.
The first day went great. They were almost the only people back there, it was super peaceful and quiet. There was a little "fire starter" log left from the last campers, and enough split wood to have a fire the first day/night. They cooked hot dogs on the fire, had a glass of wine, and enjoyed the peaceful evening.
They had enough food and drinks for a couple days, and they would go to town on Wednesday to go shopping for the rest of the week.
When they went to bed Mike rubbed Sue's back and she smiled and said she had a great day. "This should be a very great week!" One thing led to another, and they ended up making love. Mike was no stud in bed, but their 3-4 minutes of missionary every month or so was plenty to keep Sue happy. They drifted off to sleep both smiling in post sexual bliss.
They were startled awake the next morning by a very loud engine next to their camper. A massive RV was backing in right next to them. So much for the peace and quiet! "Who would need something that big?" she said to Mike as she was peeking out the window. Her question was soon answered as a very large man and a little petite woman came walking around the camper.
The man pressed a button and the camper leveled itself and doors and windows started opening up everywhere. It only took minutes and this house on wheels was set and he was flopping back in a chair. The woman was running around setting stuff up and the pig of man just sat there and cracked a beer, and it was only 9 o'clock in the morning!
Sue and Mike stayed inside most of the morning drinking coffee and having breakfast while reading. Sue cringed every time she heard the man bossing around the woman about getting him a beer or something to eat. Get off your own ass she thought.
When they decided to head out for a hike Sue was praying that their new neighbors would not be outside. She thought for a fleeting moment that she was saved because he was not around the fire, but then she caught a glimpse of him by the edge of the woods.
Was he peeing outside?? Does that mammoth RV not have bathrooms inside?? She saw him shaking himself off and they hurried to get out of sight before he turned around, but they failed.
"Heyyyyyyyyyy neighbors" bellowed the big thug. "Nice of you to finally come outside and enjoy the weather." He walked up and shook Mike's hand, then grabbed Sue's hand and gave it a kiss like he was sophisticated. She wanted to throw up in her mouth, he obviously just peed and never washed his hands.
"I'm Frank" he said. "Shirley, get your ass out here and meet the neighbors." Shirley came out of the camper in a hurry, and everyone finished up introductions. Sue thought it was disgusting how Frank talked down to Shirley, and she was obviously submissive to him, but she seemed happy so Sue just shrugged it off.
"Go grab some cold ones Shirley so we can get to know the neighbors."
"It's not even noon" Sue said, "and we were just leaving to go for a hike sorry."
"Don't be rude honey" said Mike, who didn't like confrontation.
"Yeah don't be rude honey" said Frank with a smirk. He lightly smacked Sue on the butt and said "be a good woman and help Shirley get the beers." Sue shot him a nasty look as she slapped his hand away. "Easy, easy, easy" said Frank, "I was only joking little lady." "Feisty one you got here Mike."
When Sue got inside their camper Shirley was already filling a cooler with beers. "Sorry about Frank" she said, "he can be obnoxious and loud, but he is a decent man." Sue took a deep breath and decided to give him another chance.
The woman joined the men and everyone cracked a beer and talked about themselves a little. Sue and Mike talked about how they met and their jobs. It turned out that Frank was a big time college football player in the early 90s.
That explained a lot. He was the opposite of Mike. He was tall, built (although the years have added quite a belly on him, which should come as no surprise because he has had a beer in his hand nonstop all day), loud, obnoxious, arrogant, typical star jock. He had a major knee injury that kept him from the pros, but landed a cushy job at a major car dealership in his college town.
Everyone wanted to buy a car from him so he did very well. Within 10 years he owned 4 dealerships. Shirley was a secretary at one of them and that's where they met. Now in their late 40s the dealerships pretty much run themselves so they are semi-retired and travel the country in their RV. When they aren't traveling it turns out that they only live about an hour North of Sue and Mike. Can't believe I have never heard him barking orders to Shirley from their house Sue thought to herself.
Sue and Mike were finally able to excuse themselves and get on their hike.
"What a complete pompous asshole" Sue said to Mike as they walked.
"We will just be polite, but ignore them the best we can," said Mike.
"You're right" said Sue, "he can't ruin our trip no matter how loud he is."
"I'm sure he's a typical jock honey" said Mike, "being loud and obnoxious to hide the fact that he probably has a shriveled little penis from taking steroids in college." They both laughed at this.
When they got back to their site the coast was clear so they decided to have a campfire. They were out of split wood so Mike got his little axe out that he ordered from Amazon. Try as he might it was soon obvious that he had a better chance of cutting off his foot then getting the wood to split. That's when Frank came around the corner laughing.
"Need some help little man??"
"I've got this Frank" said Mike.
"Alright, just trying to be neighborly" said Frank backing away with his hands mockingly up. Mike took a swing, missed the log, and sliced into his boot narrowly missing his foot. Sue screamed and rushed over to him. "Give me that goddamn thing before you end up in the hospital" Frank said as he ripped the axe from Mike. Frank threw the little axe to the side and went and grabbed his big one.
He took off his shirt revealing a hairy broad chest and that big belly and started swinging away at the logs making quick work of the pile. "You can thank me later little Mike" laughed Frank, "that should last you awhile" he said as he was wiping sweat away from his brow. "You can thank me as well Sue for giving you a real man to think of in bed tonight" he said with a wink.
"Fuck you" said Sue.
