Sara didn't speak about our trip to the swingers club in the months after our visit. We were both busy at work and the couple of times I did mention it, she didn't want to discuss it. I was worried that we had gone too far and that she was regretting what had happened. I didn't know how to approach what we did next. I was trying to read whether Sara had enjoyed it and felt guilty, or had realised that this wasn't what she wanted to do after all.
It had almost been 6 months when I decided to take the plunge and messaged Sara saying that we needed to discuss it as it was playing on my mind. She didn't refuse and agreed that we should go for a drink on Friday and talk. I was nervous.
"What has been bothering you?" I asked her over a drink in our local pub, "You seemed to enjoy the swingers club, and I thought you would want to discuss it, but you keep avoiding it."
"I know," she agreed after giving it some thought, "I enjoyed it, maybe too much. But I've been feeling guilty about it."
"Why?" I pressed her for more detail.
"I don't know," she admitted, "I suppose I've been brought up to think that kind of thing is wrong. We're married, and supposed to forsake all others aren't we?"
"I know," I agreed, "But we're consenting adults, and nobody was getting hurt by what happened."
Sara nodded in agreement to that point.
"I've always been told that you should only have sex with somebody you love," she continued, "And I've only ever been with 3 men in my life. Now I find myself enjoying people watching me, getting touched in a dogging car park, and having two strangers go down on me in a sex club. I'm worried about what I'm turning into."
I had no idea that Sara had so few partners, as it wasn't something she had ever been willing to discuss. I knew about the two other men she had been with, but also assumed there had been one-night stands and a few flings between them. It was clear now that there hadn't been.
"I that all of this is a big jump for you," I continued, "And I had no idea it was playing on your mind so much."
Sara looked vulnerable and worried, and I wanted to reassure her.
"Here's my opinion," I felt that it was time to open up, "We did nothing wrong at all. We love each other and we're secure. Sex is allowed to be fun and doesn't always have to be about love. We have plenty of love and we always will. But if both of us consent, why are we doing something wrong?"
"I know what you mean," she replied, "And I did enjoy it. I just worry about where it might take us next."
"What do you mean?" I questioned her.
"It just feels like it was inevitable that we would start sleeping with other people," she continued, "And that scares me a bit. What if we like it too much?"
"Why would it be so bad if we do?" I countered, "As long as it's fun, and we're both consenting, it is our choice."
Sara nodded and sipped her drink. I now knew that she had enjoyed it, and the issue was guilt that stemmed from her upbringing.
"Be honest with me," I told her, "Have you had thoughts about having sex with Scott or anybody else since that night?"
"Yes," she replied. looking embarrassed to admit this, "I have thought about it a few times."
"And did it turn you on>?" I continued.
"Stop Ben," she told me, "This isn't fair."
"Please," I asked her, "Just be honest with me. I'm not judging you, but I need to know how you feel."
"Yes it did," she finally answered, looking a bit upset and vulnerable again.
"I'm glad it does," I told her, "You looked beautiful that night, and it was the most exciting thing I've ever been a part of. Watching them both go down on you was incredible. I wanted him to fuck you right there and then."
"I wanted that too," Sara admitted, "But we had agreed not to. I can't believe I'm telling you this."
Sara finally gave a slight smile as she recalled the night.
"So why deny ourselves this fun?" I pressed a bit more. Sara thought again.
"I don't know," she replied, "As I say, it just feels like something we shouldn't do. But it is a lot of fun."
I had an idea. I now knew that Sara had enjoyed the experience, but it went against all she had been brought up to believe. Maybe we had jumped into the swingers club a bit too soon? I decided I was going to set her several challenges with a reward after each one. I was going to see how far I could push her boundaries.
The following weekend Sara was working from home on Friday while I was in the office. I left her a simple note.
I'll pick you up at 7 pm. Dress sexy, no underwear. I will have further instructions for you then.
She messaged me immediately and demanded to know what I had planned for her, but I refused to give her any further details. She first refused to go, then wanted to know what was happening, and then agreed to it. I had her curiosity and knew that she would do as I asked her.