"It's Neil right?"
When Lisa had messaged Rob asking if they could talk he assumed it must be man trouble, something which, as her self appointed "best guy friend" he saw sitting squarely within his troubleshooting remit.
He'd originally suggested gin and a shoulder to cry on but apparently marital woes needed to be physically purged from the system which is how Rob found himself in Lisa's car en route to her weekly hot yoga class in his pajama bottoms and a mesh tank top he'd found in the bottom of the drawer in which he kept his loosely termed "running gear".
"It is" Lisa answered him as she tailgated the driver in front of her.
"Knew it!" Rob exclaimed, satisfied with the vindication of his finely honed ability to read the female state of mind. "But sorry Lis" he mumbled, belatedly trying to shift into a more sympathetic tone.
"It is" she continued. "Just not in the way you think it is".
"You mean he's not cheating on you?!"
"No!" Lisa needled her elbow into him as she pulled up at a red light. "Wtf?! He knows he's onto a good thing with me. No-one else is going to bring the downward dog like I do!"
"Yeah ok, I hear you, you're hot!" Rob acknowledged with more grudging acceptance than he intended.
"Thanks." Lisa blew him a kiss and pulled away from the lights.
Rob continued to pry: "So if the problem isn't that you're not enough for him...."
"It's that he isn't enough for me" she confessed.
"Oh my god, have you cheated on him?"
"No! At least not yet...."
"Are you going to cheat on him?" Rob's voice getting progressively higher and more incredulous with every question.
"No! Of course I'm not!" Lisa sounded affronted at the very suggestion she would betray Neil. "That's not possible."
"What then?" Rob struggled to understand. "Oh wait! You mean he's.....on the smaller side?" Rob hesitantly ventured, suddenly very unsure of where this was headed.
"No!" Another jab in the ribs. "Well, yes, actually but it's honestly not important and that's really not what the problem is."
"Riiiiight" Rob was now completely unsure what was going on. "So how is he not enough for you? And I call bullshit on that size thing btw!"
"Ok, maybe the size thing was bullshit." Lisa conceded. "Well, in as much as other things are more important but it is a nice to have." She considered the point for a moment then clarified: "A VERY nice to have".
"I knew it! Ok, so come on - what did you mean he isn't enough for you?"
"It's more like he doesn't WANT to be enough for me."
"Oh right." Rob nodded sagely before admitting "I still have no idea what you're on about. And hang on! What do you mean 'you haven't cheated on him...YET?'"
Lisa sighed, checked her right mirror and swung the car into the packed leisure centre car park, pulling neatly into a space right outside the main entrance, deftly snapping off her belt and swivelling in the driver's seat to face Rob.
"Look, we probably need a bit more time for this. Can we go for coffee after class?"
"Sure. Nice parking btw"
"Thanks, they couldn't really not leave the space free could they, with me being the teacher and all"
"No, I guess not. I can't believe you're making me do this, it's so embarrassing. I'm standing at the back where no-one can see me."
"Don't be so sensitive, it's just a yoga class, try and enjoy it. You never know you might surprise yourself - we'll make a Brogi of you yet!"
"Urgh!" Rob shuddered at the mention of the word. "You know I hate that term. Anyway, I've told you, I'm totally going to spend the entirety of the class checking you out."
Lisa rolled her eyes "Well you're only human I suppose! Look, let's go for a coffee after the class and we can talk properly. Come on Brogi, can't keep my adoring audience waiting!"
By the time they got into the leisure centre at least twenty people, nearly the entire class, were congregating outside the doors of the sports hall. Doing a quick scan Rob counted well over two thirds of them as male, against his expectations.
As they filtered into the hall Rob threw his mat down in an inauspicious, semi private corner of the hall that game him a good view of Lisa but hopefully shielded him from the eyes of any more experienced and judgmental yoga snobs.
Forty five minutes later and Rob was dripping sweat and vainly struggling to touch his toes as the male yogis around him gracefully flowed from one position to another. Whilst he was failing to meet the required standards of flexibility he had succeeded in identifying the indisputable pull on his fellow Brogis to this particular class.
He'd known Lisa for three or four years now, having been introduced by a mutual friend and Lisa's cousin, Sarah. Lisa was a Yoga Teacher and alternative therapies practitioner and, at the time, Rob had been struggling with a persistent shoulder injury that no doctor seemed to be able to get to the bottom of. Sarah had suggested that Lisa may be able to help with his shoulder pain and they'd instantly hit it off as Lisa thrust four inch needles into his flesh. It was definitely a case of opposite's attract, Lisa was vivacious and outgoing and drew Rob, a natural introvert out of his shell and the more time they'd spent together the more he found himself doing things that previously he would have instantly dismissed.
Part of the reason they gelled was her easy openness, her ability to get even the most defensive person to lower their guard and open up to her. She had an easy, flirty charm that was both disarming and harmless and came easily to her, something that made Rob, who alway perceived himself as being socially awkward, slightly envious.
At the time they met, Lisa had recently returned to the UK to make a go of her relationship with Neil, who she had subsequently married. Neil had never viewed Rob as a threat to his relationship with Lisa, as Rob himself didn't and they often joked that Rob was Neil's stand in, Lisa's surrogate husband as Neil's job took him out out of the country for nine months of the year.
Of course, Rob had always known that Lisa was attractive. After all, it was staring him in the face! Like any other man he couldn't ignore it or pretend it wasn't the case. And Lisa hadn't exactly been backwards in coming forwards in telling Rob that he was hot, constantly joking with him that women must be throwing themselves at him. And whilst she joked about it, it wasn't really true. As with Lisa, Rob was aware of his good looks but unlike her he had always worn them heavily, like he'd rather not have them. Mostly they made him feel awkward around other people and, for that reason, he suspected he often looked less approachable than he intended and he'd therefore often turned to the internet to meet people.
