This is an amalgamation of true-life stories I am aware of that happened to two couples I knew. I added a few minor setting details of places/things from my life to add "color" to the story. Not much sex here, and while it might be classified as a BTB tale, I'd say it's more of a light scorching. For those critics who think it has no BIG ending... it's like life. Sometimes things just happen this way. Not wonderful, not horrific, just over.
"What the fuck is this"? shouted my soon to be ex-wife as she threw the papers down on the table. "What are you trying to pull?"
"I'm not trying to pull anything, DEAR. I think it's pretty clear that we've never really resolved things and since we never withdrew the Property Settlement Agreement... our divorce will proceed just as it would have 6 years ago." I sighed and turned back to the refrigerator and reached in for a cold one.
"Don't you fucking think you're going to get away with this. This is bullshit. What about the past 6 years? Everyone knows we reconciled." Terri was steaming and looked to be spitting nails. If proverbial looks could kill...
"Look, yes, we've been living together under the same roof for the past 6 years since you moved back home, but the reality is, you never really re-committed to US. Oh, sure we looked and acted like a normal family, went to the kids' activities, had parties here at the house, but be truthful, am I really the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with"?
Terri just stood there and glared at me, finally turning away and put her hands on the counter by the sink. For a moment, I thought she was going to vomit in the sink, but then she turned around and lit into me.
"I stopped contacting Rob and moved back here because you said you would forgive me, and because I thought it was best for the kids, and maybe, maybe, we could put our lives back together. I've been a wife to you again and I've tried to make things work, and now you're telling me it was all a lie"?
Terri threw the divorce papers at me and stomped out of the kitchen.
Well, that went about as I expected, I thought, and took another sip of my beer. I wasn't under any illusion that things would have gone differently, in fact, I'm surprised she didn't start throwing things.
And true, she did stop "contacting Rob", but that was also because he didn't want anything to do with her.
I walked out of the kitchen and into the garage. The third bay of our three-car garage was where I had my workshop; I had been spending a lot of time there recently and thinking a lot about the past several years. I thought about the old saying,
a wife lasts as long as the marriage. An ex-wife lasts the rest of your life.
SEVEN YEARS EARLIER
The bus pulled away from picking up the kids and my wife closed the door as she came in with her coffee cup in hand from waving goodbye to the kids. Even though they were in middle school, and getting to that age where they didn't want the 'rents around anymore than necessary, they still didn't mind one or both of us seeing them off to school. Only as long as we stayed on the porch, the 200-foot distance to the road giving plausible deniability to our actions! Chloe was almost fourteen, and Danny was eleven.
Terri turned and looked at me, and I could tell there was trouble brewing there. Our counseling session the previous week had gotten pretty heated, and we were due back to see Dr. Mike in two days.
She took a big breath and said, "I don't want to do this anymore. I'm just not happy. And I don't want you to come tonight."
And with that, she turned and walked up the stairs.
WTF? Does this mean she wants a divorce? Does she want to stop seeing the shrink? What?
We ended up avoiding each other all morning and mid-afternoon. She came down and said, "I'm going to meet Amy at the coffee shop and then we're going to the restaurant. I don't want you to come. There's dinner in the fridge for you and the kids."
Well, shit on me. We were 'supposed' to go out with friends tonight. Us, Amy, her boyfriend Bill, and Rob. Bill, Rob and I all worked together at the Navy Base. The five of us made up the core of a loose group of friends in our social circle. Terri and Amy were going to meet up first, and then head over to the restaurant for a "girls' night out". At least that's what Amy thought it was going to be. Later, I'd come, and Bill and Rob were going to join us when they got off work.
That was the plan. What was really going to happen was Terri would tell Amy to go on up to the table that was reserved, while she stopped at the Ladies' room. Bill would be there with flowers, and he would officially propose to her. Then Terri, me and Rob would join them, and the celebration would begin.
I was in a bit of a fog, but quickly realized this was serious. I had no idea what was going to happen, but I needed to start thinking about myself. I started Googling everything I could find about divorce laws in Virginia, and realized this would turn into a real clusterfuck for yours truly. So much for the past 17 years.
So, that's how we got to things 7 years earlier.
The past few years had been hard for her as both her parents got cancer, and died a year and a half apart. Then her brother had a cancer scare that physically drained him, although he did survive, and is cancer free to this day. Terri, though, just seemed to sink deeper and deeper into a depressed state of mind. It was a rare week that passed without her snapping at me or grousing about some trivial issue. The fact that I couldn't figure out why it was an issue would just piss her off even more.
Typical blowups were like this.
"Why can't you stop doing things to piss me off!" She'd yell.
"Well maybe if you were a little clearer about what it was that you wanted, I wouldn't piss you off! Jesus Christ woman, say what you mean, and mean what you say!" I remember having many an argument just like that.
Terri left that afternoon to meet Amy, and I sat down at the computer. My Spidey senses were screaming something was rotten in the household and maybe I'd find the answer in her email. Well, what's this? She changed her password? Hmmm. I was the computer guru/main user. She barely knew how to check her email.
I downloaded a keylogger and started dinner. Kids being kids, they had no idea their world was about to get upended and I wasn't going to say anything.
I got them to bed telling our daughter not to stay up too late reading and retired to our bedroom. I couldn't sleep. What the hell is going to happen to us? Am I going to get raked over the coals like every other guy that gets divorced? Is financial ruin just around the corner? Why now? I mean, yeah, the last few times at the shrink's office have been pretty awful, to the point that I was almost ready to walk out a few weeks ago because she was so disrespectful. He even called her out on it.
Terri had said, "Ken is arrogant. He thinks he knows everything. THAT'S the problem."
Dr. Mike studied her and said, "No, Ken isn't arrogant, he is confident, and that's a good thing in life, and especially in his profession. But he's not arrogant. Arrogant means someone thinks they're better than everyone else. Or they are unwilling to change, or to listen to other viewpoints. I don't see that here, so no, Mike is not arrogant."
Steam poured out of her, figuratively speaking of course, but there was no mistaking she was pissed he didn't agree with her. I was surprised she didn't get up and leave.
Obviously, the rest of that session was a waste of time.
I laid there in bed tossing and turning as the hours went by. Midnight came and went, no Terri. One AM, same thing. Finally, almost 1:30am I heard her come in and tiptoe up the stairs.
As she came in the room I snarled, "Where the hell have you been, and who the hell have you been with?"
She flinched and said, "I've been walking on the bike path thinking."
"Yeah right, like I believe that!" What woman goes walking on a tree covered bike path at midnight?
"I need to go to sleep and get some rest. We can talk in the morning."
Eventually I drifted off to sleep; I got maybe 4 hours of sleep that night. I got the kids breakfast and shooed them out the door to school about the time Terri came downstairs.
We stood there looking at each other, neither one wanting to start the conversation. Eventually, she said she'd be staying in the guest room until we could figure things out.
That's when I drew the line in the sand. "Well, if you want out, you can move out. I'm staying here, as are the kids!"
"Why do I have to move out?" she said. "Why can't you?"
"Well, to start, you're the one that wants out, not me. Second, you're going to have to work full time, and you're not going to be able to afford the house, even with getting child support, never mind maintaining the property, and taking care of the house. Hell, you've already been complaining that you don't have enough time to do things around here, and you've only been working 2 days a week for the past few years."
She jerked her head up and looked like she wanted to say something.
I continued. "And I'm not having the kids move to some apartment or rental house in another school district; their life needs to be as stable as possible."
She stomped off in a huff, and I went about my business. We had a shrink appointment that day. When I told Dr. Mike that she wanted a divorce, his first comment was, "Right now, that's what she wants. That may change."
I said how I thought she was bullshitting me when she said she was walking on the bike path that night.
He even asked her if she was having an affair, which she angrily denied.
I honestly don't remember much about the rest of that session. I dropped her off at her car in town and went to work.
That night I came home and went in my office and checked the keylogger. Bingo! New password to her email, as well as the body of an email she wrote to.... Holy shit. She's got something going on with Rob! As in Rob, our friend, my coworker? "FUCK."
Without going into great length and boring the piss out of everyone, here's what transpired next.
Evidently, she had talked Rob into joining her and Amy in the Catholic Church choir some months earlier, and as time went by, she decided that Rob had all the qualities of what she wanted in life. Now I have to tell you, it was an open secret among our social circle that Rob, at the age of 38 was still a virgin. Yes, a virgin. He was waiting for that one right woman to come along. As nice as he was though, he had no idea how to approach a woman.
