Worplace Romance?

WORKPLACE ROMANCE?

I'm Bob, division manager for a large chemical company. I'm 47, married and have two daughters. I took this job about three years ago. This division was losing money, and they hired me to turn it around.

Before I took the job I wanted to meet with the leadership team to see what I had to work with. The inventory and shipping manager, Tim, was a man who seemed capable enough.

The office manager was a strikingly good looking young woman, Lana, in her mid to late 20's. I wondered how she got such an important job at her age and then I remembered her looks. I am a very serious minded professional and I hire people only on their abilities. That is how I have gotten to where I am. I mean it's a plus if they are attractive, but I would never hire someone based on their looks alone.

The maintenance manager, Dan, seemed a little unsure of himself. I would have to evaluate him more later.

The lab manager/facility manager, Dianne, was the glue of the organization. She was an extremely intelligent young woman, 34 at the time. She was not unattractive, but I was glad her looks would not be a distraction because we would have to work closely together.

So I accepted the position and got to work. The division had been poorly managed for years. There was a lot of low hanging fruit, and we soon stopped the bleeding. I found these were willing hard working people and had not been given any recognition or encouragement.

I told my team if they were willing to work hard we were not just going to stop losing money but our goal was to excel. They had been so frustrated by the previous lack of leadership they jumped at the chance.

As we began our journey, Tim performed his duties well, and we ended up becoming friends. Despite my first impression, Lana was adequate, while a little unsophisticated and brash, she was not a hindrance to our goal, for some reason there was always a distance with her. Perhaps she had been hit on by previous managers. Dan, I had to replace.

Dianne was fantastic. She was even more intelligent than I had been told or imagined. Not to boast but I have an above average intelligence, and it was nice to have someone who could keep up on my level. I soon considered her a close confidant and relied on her heavily. Often I would consult her on most issues, even personnel decisions, and financial decisions. I had decided that she mentally was my equal and we would even spar intellectually, match wits and occasionally poke fun at one another. In all my years managing companies I had never had this and was really enjoying the interaction. Our division was improving rapidly and we were elated.

Dianne and I worked closely together, she often would spend hours in my private office alone if we were working on a project, but there was no sexual tension or impropriety.

I honestly had never felt any sexual desires for her, well there was this one blue blouse that she would wear and it accentuated her breasts nicely which caught my attention a time or two. But she didn't wear makeup, and dressed plainly. She really did nothing to bring attention to herself. Honestly I hadn't even noticed how nice her breasts were until she wore that blue blouse.

Well one night I had a dream. In the dream, I was at my desk, she walked up to me naked and said "isn't it about time we had sex?'' I sat straight up in a cold sweat and a raging hard-on. Where did that come from I thought. I am a married man and have never cheated on my wife, and wouldn't.

I was all business and so was Dianne, so why did I have this dream. I surmised that we had become so close that somewhere subconsciously, I had come to feel as close to her on some level as my wife and my mind had confused the two. Surely that was it, I didn't have a desire for her, did I?

Well I tried very hard to continue our relationship as before and put this out of my mind. And I had, almost, and then I received word that our division had improved to the point that my team would receive a very nice bonus.

I was downstairs in the public hallway when I saw Dianne and told her the good news. She was overjoyed and said, "Oh thank you for coming in and helping us turn this around, I could tell you were the right man for the job. I could kiss you right now." I was taken aback, didn't really know what to say and thought, where did that come from? And immediately my dream popped back in my mind. Trying to deflect, I said, "Yes its wonderful news isn't it.'' and fled to my office.

What was going on? Did Dianne have the same thoughts about me? Had she been sending me some subliminal messages I hadn't been picking up on? No, I'm being ridiculous. Dianne is married too, they don't have any kids, but she told me that she and her husband didn't want any. That was probably the most intimate conversation we had ever had up to this point. Everything else was about work. That stupid dream, I wish I had never had it.

I tried to carry on as before, but small insignificant things; I would have never noticed before, caught my attention. The way she beamed when I came to see her in her office over a matter. I had noticed what a nice smile she had before, but now it seemed broader. The way when I was showing her some financial results on my computer she seemed to lean closer. Her breast pressed against my arm, which seemed intentional.

No, I'm being stupid, get over this Bob. Get a hold of yourself.

I had managed to get somewhat back to normal. I pushed any crazy thoughts away as soon as they arose. Then one day the vice president of the company came for a visit. We all showed him around the facility with pride. He was very pleased.

When we were back in my office just he and I, he said, "you have done a fantastic job here Bob." I quickly told him my team deserved most of the credit, "they have worked very hard" I said.

I then went on and told him how helpful Dianne had been and she was perfectly capable of being a division manager herself. He recognized her value, reminded me that he had told me she was very smart, and then said, "you know when I first saw her I didn't think she was much to look at, but as you get to know her better she is quite attractive, I guess it's her personality."

Damn him, he was right, I suddenly realized I did find her more attractive physically. She would not win any beauty contests, but she is pretty. And she did have a great personality; she was always happy, positive, willing to be helpful, funny and witty.

After his visit I started to notice her body more too. She was slightly overweight, but I liked full figured women, I never found those skinny model types attractive.

She had a full round ass, larger than she wanted I'm sure because she often talked about dieting, but it was not too big. Actually it was nice. And her breasts I think are larger than I thought. It's those baggy clothes she wears that hides her features.

Stop it Bob, you've got a job to do here, I said to myself. You've got a job to do here and while it is going well you haven't achieved your goal, and you won't be able to do it if you don't get a hold of yourself.

I was never able to get these thoughts out of my head again. I was able to stay busy enough to keep them from being a major distraction at work. At home, however, it was a different matter.

My wife and I had fallen into that old married couple routine and rarely had sex. I joked with her that she had so many headaches and was so tired she should see a doctor. She didn't appreciate the humor.

Then I made the fatal mistake of allowing myself to fantasize about Dianne. I now desired her. But not just sexually really, I had not fallen in love with her, but I did love her mind, her spirit, her personality, and now her body too.

She soon would be the subject of my masturbation sessions. I knew this was wrong, but I found that I couldn't help myself. I rationalized with myself that I wouldn't cheat on my wife for real, but this was a way I could possibly relieve this sexual tension I was feeling.

I tried to act natural around Dianne, although I did find myself sucking in my gut a little around her. And one day I went to her office and she was wearing that blue blouse. I started to get an erection. I was standing there in front of her talking as she sat at her desk. Normally I would have left, or sat down so she wouldn't notice, but I wanted her to notice. I wanted her to see how aroused she now made me.

If she noticed she never let on, she didn't stare or bug out her eyes like you hear in these sex stories. She did seem to have a furtive smile though.

After I left I thought to myself you should be ashamed of yourself, but I wasn't ashamed. This is how far I had let my desires carry me.

She only made one other overtly sexual comment after the one about kissing, but it seemed to me she was dressing a little nicer now. And did she have on some makeup yesterday? We made eye contact more now and held it longer. It seemed our verbal exchanges were warmer now, and we both seem to use a lot of double entendre that we would laugh off as a joke or witty banter.

How did it get to this point? I was full blown infatuated now. I was mad at myself, but it wasn't me. It was that stupid dream that started it. I don't think I would ever have gotten to this point if it hadn't been for that damn dream. But nothing has happened aside from some almost indistinguishable flirting, and some wild fantasies. I still wouldn't cheat on my wife, would I?

Then our company purchases some new software and all division managers and facility managers are required to take the training at corporate headquarters. And wouldn't you know it Dianne and I are scheduled for the same three day session.

I am going to be out of town with her for three days. Staying in a hotel, separate rooms naturally, but still would there ever be a better opportunity to act upon my desires. What will I do if the opportunity presents itself? So far this has just been a fantasy, and possibly an unrequited fantasy. Still I can't get it out of my mind.

On the way to the airport after telling my wife goodbye, I begin to fantasize about what could happen and try to decide if I would cheat on my wife and fulfill my desires. I could not completely arrive at a firm decision, so I stopped at a pharmacy on the way to the airport and purchased some prophylactics and some KY jelly. Even as I do this, I hope I will have the will power to control myself, but if I can't, I better be prepared.

Thankfully, no opportunity presents itself. We spent all day in training. At night the company had dinner and activities prepared and we were always surrounded by our coworkers. We did have a good time though. Dianne and I sat beside each other in class and carried on like school kids sometimes. We sat together at dinner each night. It was like being a couple in some ways and I was truly enjoying it.

We were so comfortable around each other some of our coworkers jokingly called us a couple and made comments like Dianne was my work-wife. I was not offended at all by these comments but often feigned disgust so no one would suspect anything other than a truly platonic relationship. I was pleased to notice that Dianne was not offended either and even playfully played along most times.

Occasionally she would say something like "come along darling" or lace her arm in mine and walk arm and arm when people would make these comments, and laugh it off so convincingly it raised no concern. It was at those times that I thought something might really happen and started to wonder if Dianne is having some of these same feelings.

The last night after dinner no activity was planned but a large group of us sat in the bar talking and laughing and drinking. As we left several of us rode the elevator up together. Dianne had grabbed me arm and arm again. I think this time to steady her, and me too for that matter, because we had quite a lot to drink. One of the other people started that couple thing again, which had become a running joke.

When we arrived at Dianne's floor, she started off the elevator then spun around, "oh sorry, goodnight darling" she said and gave me a quick peck on the lips. She laughed it off so heartily, everyone on the elevator laughed, except me. Damn it was all I could do to not follow her. The woman next to me said, "She is so delightful, I know you are glad you have her on your team." To which I said, "I certainly am." But I would be more glad to "have her", I thought to myself.

It probably was fortunate that we had separate flights because I didn't see her until the next week at work. I found myself actually avoiding her for the first couple hours, not really sure why, but I did have a lot of emails to catch up on and she did too I'm sure.

When we finally saw each other in the hall we chatted about the trip. We both mentioned it was fun and the training, while boring at times, was actually good, and then went about our work. Neither of us made mention of the kiss.

I failed to mention earlier that Tim and Dianne and I would, occasionally, go to lunch together. A lot of times there would be a project we were working on and we would have a working lunch. But it was not uncommon to have a leisurely lunch together sometimes just to celebrate how well things were going.

Today we decided to have a leisurely lunch together, but Tim did want to hear about the new software. We told him about it and the trip, and then Dianne blurted out, everyone thought Bob and I were a couple and laughed. Of course we had to explain this to Tim.

Matter-of-factly Tim says, "I can see why people would think that."

I asked him why?

"Because you two go together. You both have the same drive, you both are very smart, and your personalities just mesh."

Dianne and I looked at each other. Tim had put his finger on why I was drawn to her. I could see in her eyes she was acknowledging what Tim had said was true. I wasn't sure if it was for the first time for her, or if it was something that had been building in her as in me, but this definitely was a turning point of some kind.

When Dianne and I were working on a problem, it was not uncommon to argue. I respected her opinion and wanted it, but we both were strong willed and self confident enough to forcefully defend our opinions. Tim used to say we argue like brother and sister, but since that day he started saying you argue like an old married couple.

And Dianne sometimes to get her way would say, "Darling, you know I'm right."

She was careful to do this only when we were alone. I no longer suspected something was different between Dianne and I. It clearly was, but where was this going.

When we were implementing the new software we were having issues with one of the modules. She told me that one of the women she met at the training was really good with that portion and she called her and got the problem resolved. We were sitting at her desk and I was sitting beside her looking at the computer screen.

When she hung up the phone she described the woman and asked if I remember her. I did remember her and then she described another man at the conference and said that the two of them had been having an affair. I was shocked. "How do you know this," I said?

"Oh darling, women gossip, she told me one night after dinner when we were drinking." Dianne explained.

She went on to tell me about others within the company she had learned about, that were having affairs.

Dianne then looked at me with a sparkle in her eyes and said, "Looks like almost everyone in this company is having an affair. I guess we missed the memo."

Just then, her phone rang and someone came to the door asking for me to come to their department. As I walked out the door she put her hand over the receiver.

"See you later, darling," she said in a hushed voice and laughed.

Damn, how was I to process this. Was this a signal? Was she indicating she was open to an affair? Our banter had become so witty this could be her just being playful.

What was that sparkle in her eye, was she showing me her desire or was it her feeling privileged to share juicy gossip. What was I going to do? I couldn't propose anything or make the first move. I was her boss. If I was wrong about any of this she could file a sexual harassment complaint. I puzzled over this for weeks. I was in agony.

Intentionally or unintentionally, she had sent my desire into overload. My masturbation sessions were no longer enough. I had to know if she felt the same way, but how? I then devised a plan.

The next time she called me darling I said, "Dianne let's get serious for a minute. I have enjoyed playing around with this, as you clearly have, but it could cause a problem."

"What do you mean Bob? You know I'm just having fun with you."

"Well, it's a little unfair. I like clowning around too, but if I said something the wrong way, or you took it the wrong way I could be sued for sexual harassment."

"I totally get your point, understood. I certainly don't want to put you in a compromising situation."

"And another thing if someone overheard, didn't understand and thought we really had something going on and told either my wife or your husband. It might be hard to explain."

"That's a good point too. We really should tone it down so we can keep it a secret." giggled and walked out of the room.

Damn her. I thought I had a full proof plan. But you can now see what I'm talking about with the playful banter and matching wits. She is playing with me. She knew I was digging for an answer, but wasn't about to give me one. When she said "good point, understood" at least she knows now I can't proposition her. I guess the balls in her court I will just have to wait and see what happens.

The next month our division was to receive an environmental award from the local Chamber of Commerce for a recycling program that Dianne had put in place. There's a lunch banquet and awards ceremony in the ballroom of a local hotel. Dianne tells me she wants me to go with her to receive the award, she wants the division manager there because there undoubtedly will be photos taken and doesn't want to be standing alone.

The day of the ceremony Dianne comes in; she is wearing a low cut blouse, nice slacks, put on some make-up, she has done her hair, and is wearing at least 5" heels. It takes my breath. I have never seen her like this. I am blown away. I think to myself, how did I ever see her as anything but desirable? While I am enjoying it immensely, I feel disappointed that she has not done this for me but for the pictures at the award ceremony.

I come to her office when it is time to go and say, "You ready to go?"

She says, "Yes, let me just get this file. It is my speech in case I have to say a few words."

She opens the bottom drawer of her desk and bends over looking for the file. I can see down her shirt, and before I can catch it, let out an audible gasp. She doesn't acknowledge it and we get into my car and head to the event.

On the way she says she is nervous, and I say, "Dianne, you have nothing to be nervous about. You are an extremely intelligent and articulate woman. And you can file a sexual harassment claim against me if you want but you look gorgeous today."

I look over at her and she is blushing, she looks at me so lovingly.

"Thank you darling.'' she says, in a different tone, no laughter and looks sincere.

As we walk into the event we walk arm and arm and I am so proud to have her on my arm. We sat through lunch. I can't take my eyes off of her. Occasionally she notices, looks me plainly in the eye and smiles sweetly. I'm glad my hard-on subsided by the time the award presentation and photos happened. When the event is over we are walking through the lobby, she grabs my arm and pulls me onto an elevator and hits a button. I said, "What are you doing?"