With a Feather

Sunday at Home:

"You could have knocked me over with a feather." I've heard that expression all my life, but it didn't apply to me until this week. For the last several months, I've been a mushroom, for all practical purposes. I've been kept in the dark and covered with crap. I wasn't aware of that, until this week.

Before you can comprehend my complete astonishment at what happened, you need to know a little bit about my wife. Alice is, or at least was, the most honest and moral person that I've ever met.

She's been a Sunday school teacher since she was a teenager. She's the head of the ethics committee of a local charity where she volunteers.

I can't count the number of times that Alice returned money that was given to her by mistake. She's done that at supermarkets, malls, restaurants, and other places too numerous to list. She's never given even a fleeting thought to pocketing the money.

The one for the books was in a casino. The cashier gave her too much money. When she noticed that she had an extra hundred dollars, she found the cashier and returned the money.

I couldn't believe it! I said, "Alice, this place never gives the players a chance. When they gave you a chance to get even, so to speak, you gave them their money back. I can't believe it."

She answered, "It wouldn't have been the casino that lost that $100. It would've been that poor cashier. When they discovered her drawer didn't balance, that money would've been deducted from her pay."

Ok, so she was probably right. You get my point though, don't you?

Once at a hotel, the vending machine gave her an extra candy bar. She promptly told the desk clerk about the malfunction and handed him the candy bar. Never mind that the machine charged more than twice the normal price for candy bars and that the clerk probably just ate the damn thing. Oh, well.

I could go on and on. I've just scratched the surface, but you get the picture.

Well, the first indication that there might be a hole in my angel's wing came last Sunday at church. I was heading out the door after the service.

I shook hands with the pastor and told him how much I enjoyed the sermon. I said, "Pastor, I've heard a lot of sermons in my time, and that was one of them." He grinned.

As I was walking away, Jane Gibson and her son, Jerry, intercepted me.

"Hi Allen, where did you lose that lovely wife of yours?", asked Jane.

"Hi, Jane. Alice had to stay for a short meeting with the ladies that are planning this week's meal for the underprivileged. I decided to come outside and enjoy this great weather while waiting for her."

Jane grabbed my hand. "Allen, I want you to know how much I appreciate what you and Alice have done for Jerry. I saw the report from the Teresa Remedial Academy and I'm impressed. I think those Wednesday afternoons working with you guys turned out to be the best school experience that Jerry had all year."

While Jane was saying that, her daughter, Mary, joined us. Mary is a couple of years older than Jerry. "That's for sure, isn't it Jerry?", she sang out as she bumped Jerry with her hip and gave him a mischievous grin. I thought at the time that was odd behavior for Mary.

"I have to tell you, Jane, it was mostly Alice's doing. She's the one that found out about the program and decided that it would be a good deal all-around for us to sign up. It would let Jerry make some money while also getting school credits. Plus, he would be helping us too.

"To tell you the truth, I didn't miss mowing the lawn at all. As far as I'm concerned, a perfect day is when there's a warm breeze, birds singing, butterflies flitting, fish biting, and the lawnmower is broken."

We were smiling, but Jerry was just staring at the sidewalk. Jane fished an envelope out of her purse. "Here, look at this report from the Academy, Allen. See the list of things that Jerry learned while working with you guys."

I glanced at the list. I was surprised to see so many items listed. In addition to mowing the lawn more than thirty times, it mentioned trimming shrubbery, repairing a retaining wall, painting some rooms in the house, fixing the roof on the shed, and helping with housework.

I just smiled and said that we were happy to be of help and we appreciated and benefited from his hard work. It was a win/win.

My mind was reeling. Our son, Larry, and I had done most of those tasks over several weekends. All that Jerry had done was mow, as far as I knew. Perhaps he did help Alice with some housework too. But talk about exaggeration!

I was surprised to see that Alice had written and certified such a document for Jerry's school. It exaggerated what Jerry had done. It was inaccurate in the extreme. I guess she thought she was doing it for a good cause and I realize that we all have a soft spot for Jerry in our hearts, but still....

Jane continued to thank me profusely and asked me to be sure and pass her thanks along to Alice.

About that time, I saw Alice stepping through the church door. She glanced up and saw me talking with the Gibson family. She turned on her heel and walked back into the church. I figured she must have forgotten something.

As I was waving goodbye to the Gibsons, our neighbor, Sam Alexander, walked up and started talking. "Hey, Allen. I see you've been talking to the Gibson family. I'm guessing you want to know what goes on when Jerry comes over to mow every Wednesday. Things like: how come it takes less than an hour to mow your front lawn but over three hours to mow the back."

"What are you talking about, Sam? Do you keep a stopwatch on Jerry?"

"I just notice things, Allen. For instance, I've noticed that Jerry shows up at noon. He finishes your front lawn in a little over thirty minutes. Then he heads for your back lawn. I see him leave at about 4:30. That just seems a little odd."

"Not really, Sam. As you know, the poor boy is mentally challenged. He is attending the Teresa Remedial Academy which is a junior college for young adults like him. They teach them a trade so they can make a living. They recently added a program to teach them how to run a household. We signed up to teach in that program. We teach him how to handle a household. He gets to earn some school credits and make some spending money while helping us with real-world things that he needs to know and that we need to have done. It's a win/win.

"One of his duties is to mow, but he's also supposed to help with the garden, painting, and various other projects. We teach him how to do those projects. It works out well for him and for us too. As you know, Alice is an editor and she does quite a bit of her work at home, so she has time to devote to mentoring Jerry."

It was not lost on me that now I was exaggerating a bit, but I resented Sam's meddling.

"Well, I guess that explains everything, Allen. Guess I had been concerned for no reason. I just figured he was probably mowing your lawn and then sleeping in your backyard or maybe using your pool while getting paid by the hour. I didn't realize he was working on a college project. I guess it's a good program since it benefits boys like Jerry that are 'not all there,' so to speak."

I was more than a little upset at how Sam had referred to Jerry, and at what a nosy, busybody Sam had become. In retrospect, I should have paid more attention to what he said.

When Sam left, Pastor Mark came over with a reminder. "Hey, Allen, don't forget the construction committee meeting has been moved to Thursday evening."

"Got it on my phone, Pastor. I'll be there. Hey, I heard something interesting from one of my Evangelical buddies. He said that when you know that everything's right between yourself and God, if someone were to kill you right then, they'd be doing you a favor. You would be assured of going to heaven. There would be no chance that you might wander off the path and end up in hell."

"Oh my, Allen, that's pretty extreme. How would the person know they were 'right' with God? Could anyone know for sure? Take you, do you think you're right with God, Allen?"

"I think so, Pastor, but don't do me any favors!"

We were both laughing when Alice joined us. After a few more minutes of conversation, Alice and I began the drive home.

During the drive, we shared our excitement about our son, Larry, coming home today after completing his three-week internship with the New York police department.

Larry is majoring in Criminology. The New York internship amounts to a big feather in his cap. We will be picking him up at the Austin Bergstrom Airport in a couple of hours. We can't wait to see him. He doesn't have classes until Tuesday, so we might be able to catch up on his New York experience.

Our daughter, Julie, will be home for the weekend too. All in all, it promises to be a great family weekend.

The only downside was that Larry had an upset stomach when we picked him up at the airport. He blamed it on airline food.

When we arrived at our house, Larry went up to his old room to rest and recover from his stomach ailment.

Family Together:

That evening, for the first time in a long while, our whole family was seated around the dinner table together. Larry was feeling better and his appetite had returned. He told us all about his internship. Julie told us a little bit about school and a lot about her new boyfriend.

Larry also told us that he was working on a project involving cooperation between law enforcement and academia. He asked me if he could, by any chance, have some time with me tomorrow to talk about his project. Since I'm a counselor at the local junior college, he thought I could be of help to him by giving him some input from the school's perspective. I told him that I would be in meetings until about ten, but I would be happy to help him any time after that.

When there was finally a lull in the conversation, Alice mentioned that she saw me talking with Jane and her family after church. "Did they have anything interesting to say, honey?"

"Not really. Jane was just thanking me for our participation in that school project for Jerry. She showed me a report from the school. It outlined the skills that he had acquired and the various projects that he had completed while working with us. She said it helped him attain an A+ overall grade. Jane indicated that a grade like that would serve to put Jerry near the top of his class.

"She's very proud of him and very appreciative of our efforts to help him. I told her that you were the one deserving her thanks and that my role had been pretty small. I mentioned that I probably benefited from the program as much as Jerry since I was relieved of the task of mowing every week."

Alice agreed and said that she had benefited greatly from his program too. Then she asked if Jerry had anything to say.

"As usual, he didn't have much to say," I answered. "He just mostly looked down and kicked dirt around."

"Well, you know how shy he can be, Allen. I'm glad that he benefitted from the program. It ends this Wednesday. To tell the truth, I'll actually miss working with Jerry. He's a nice guy. Too bad that he has learning problems.

"He seems to appreciate being treated like an adult. I always try to have some good adult conversations with him and feed him a nutritious lunch. I think he does very well, considering."

"Alice, while we are on this subject, I have to tell you that I was surprised at one part of your involvement with Jerry's program. You've always been the most honest person that I've ever known. Honest to a fault, actually. Imagine my surprise when I found out that you were less than honest about Jerry."

I immediately noticed that Alice had a very uncomfortable look on her face. It seemed to be a mixture of fear and guilt. I expected her to respond with a question, but she just looked down and remained silent.

Finally, the silence became somewhat awkward, so I spoke up. "You bent the truth on your report to the school. You awarded credit to Jerry for quite a few things that he didn't do. For instance, you said he trimmed the shrubbery and transplanted the flowers in the front yard. I'm sure you know that Larry and I did that on weekends. You also gave him credit for repairing our retaining wall and fixing the roof on our shed. You know that my brother and I did those projects. Then, how about painting the rooms upstairs? We did that as a family project on a three-day weekend.

"To say that you exaggerated would be an understatement. Never in your life have you bent the rules like that for anybody else, that's for sure."

Larry chimed in "That's right, Mom. Remember the time that I had two book reports due in high school. I had slacked off and didn't get both books read, so I bought a CliffsNotes and used it to do one of the reports. You refused to let me submit it. It dropped my grade several points."

Next, it was Julie's turn. "Mom, remember that time I was supposed to help you with the holiday meal preparation to get some credit in my cooking class. I had to take a phone call and you wouldn't give me a check-off for helping with the cookies."

"Well, young lady, you didn't help with the cookies, so you didn't deserve credit for it. You could have told your boyfriend to call back later."

"That cost me 4 points on the assignment. You wouldn't bend the rules for me or Larry, but it appears that you bent them a bunch for Jerry. Geez!"

"I know, I remember those things. But, thankfully, you guys didn't have any disabilities and I wanted you to learn that you should never take credit in life for things that you didn't do. It's quite a different set of circumstances with Jerry."

Then Larry took the conversation in an uncharted direction. "Mom, I'm wondering if you fully appreciate just how 'different' Jerry is. You say that you have adult conversations with him. I'm not sure what you consider to be an adult conversation, but you should know that he is completely incapable of keeping secrets. I hope you haven't confided in him about anything. He not only stretches the truth, he tells out and out lies about people, even people that befriend him. I've seen it many times."

"Oh, Larry, that's what I mean about not treating him as an adult. I think he's trustworthy and I treat him as such."

"Big mistake, Mom. You should hear the things he says about the girls in his class. To hear him tell it, he's been intimate with most of them. If you let him, he'll play you like a drum."

"Well, his program ends this week, Larry, so I guess I won't have to worry about any of that anymore."

Larry raised his voice as he replied to his mom. "I just hope that you haven't said anything or done anything that would be risky to our family if the whole world was made aware of it, because I can guarantee you, he'll tell anyone and everyone, everything. He may even exaggerate more than you did on your report to his school."

Those words and Larry's tone of voice bothered Alice. She had tears on her cheeks. She began to sob and then jumped up and left the room.

"Larry, tell your mom you're sorry," I said.

"No, Dad. I won't be doing that. Every word that I said to her is true. Now that Mom has left the room, I can tell you that Jerry has already told me some crap that makes Mom look bad. I just hope that he hasn't been telling it to anyone else."

"What has he been saying, Son?"

"I feel like I should tell you, but I'm struggling with that right now. I don't want to go there. If nothing comes of it, then no harm no foul."

"Larry, go tell Mom you're sorry," said Julie.

"Julie, she needs to know that she may be dealing with some big problems. Maybe we all are."

"Larry, we miss you and are glad to have you back with us, but sometimes you can be such an ass. It won't hurt you to go comfort Mom," said Julie.

Larry got up and headed for the door, telling Julie that he would talk to Mom, but he wouldn't soft-peddle the message he'd given her. He said that he meant every word.

Monday:

(JC campus with Allen)

"Hi, Son, come on in."

"Hi, Dad. I have a confession to make. I don't have a school-connected project. I just used that fabrication as a pretext to talk to you about something else in private. I need to expand on yesterday's dinner conversation. There's no way I can sugar-coat any of this. It's by far the hardest thing that I've ever had to do.

"First, I need to tell you that months ago, only a few weeks into Jerry's school project with you guys, Jerry bragged to me that he had been learning about sex from Mom. I didn't give it much thought at the time because I knew that Jerry told some whoppers. Like I said before, if he is to be believed, he's screwed most of the girls in his class. I just considered the source and let it go.

"A few days before I departed for New York, I went attended Jane's birthday party. Jerry was there. He mentioned again that he had learned a lot about sex from Mom. He told me that he was having sex with her every Wednesday. He told me what she had taught him and what they were doing. He went into considerable detail. He described some things about our guest bedroom. He spoke of things that he could only know if he'd been in that room. As far as I know, he's never been upstairs in our house. At that point, I began to take him more seriously.

"Then, he told me what Mom was wearing. He was able to describe her robe, Dad. He was able to describe the bedding in the guest bedroom, from the sheets to the duvet. He even described the design on the pillowcases that were hand-made by Aunt Freda. I knew then that I needed to find out more.

"I remembered that one of my classmates had some very small Bluetooth microphones that were designed for clandestine use. They were small but extremely sensitive. They were designed to emphasize the human voice while minimizing background noise. I borrowed three of them. I hid one beneath our kitchen table, one under the bed, and one behind the bedside table in the guest bedroom.

"I chose those locations because Jerry said that after he mowed, he took a shower. Then Mom served him a late lunch. They talked in the kitchen about what she was going to teach him that day. That was the 'lecture,' so to speak. Then, they went to the guest bedroom for the associated 'lab' session.

"Those microphones fed a Bluetooth receiver that I hid on the shelves in the basement. The receiver then transferred the audio to my cloud storage. I completed the installation just before my internship in New York. One night, when I was at loose ends in my room, I downloaded the audio from the cloud. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"I have the audio from the last three Wednesdays. Dad, there's no easy way to say this. Mom is having an affair with Jerry. She explains how to do something, and then they do it. It appears that it's been going on almost all of the time that they have been involved in that school program.

"I have a USB memory stick that contains all of the recorded data that I was able to obtain. Dad, it nearly killed me to hear it. I can't even imagine how it will affect you. I'm going to leave it with you. Listen to it, Dad, but keep it in a safe place. It could be very damaging to all of us if it ever got into the wrong hands. They could say that she took advantage of him.

"I can imagine what a good lawyer could do with that information. He could say that she taught someone under her tutelage to perform a variety of sexual acts designed specifically for her enjoyment. That she molded him to be her personal sex slave, performing for her on command."

"Son, it can't be that bad. You're surely mistaken. I know your mom like the back of my hand. She just couldn't do what you are describing."

"Dad, I know that it's unbelievable. I still have trouble believing what I heard, but I did hear it. You must listen too. Please don't blame the messenger. I would have bet my life that she would never do anything even close to this. Just listen to it. Then, it's up to you what will happen.