Years ago, we lived in a rather small, tight-knit community. Half the town seemed to be related by blood. The townspeople were very ethnic and prided themselves on their Eastern European heritage. Parties, dancing, and lots of drinking are part of that heritage. Jean and I are social drinkers; we enjoy the light buzz alcohol provides us, but each of us rarely drinks to excess.
In late September, we received an invitation to attend a costume party. We didn't know the couple very well who were hosting the party, but one of Jean's close friends did; her friend helped the hostess make up the guest list and it was through her efforts the hostess added us to the list. The costume party coincided with the weekend closest to Halloween.
This particular party was well known for its excesses. People tended to lose all inhibitions and do things they would never do again, at least not sober and with a crowd egging them on. The people throwing the party took the costume theme very seriously and awarded cash prizes for best costume and best-costumed couple.
There were two categories and winner took all in each category. Upon receiving the invitation, Jean not only immediately RSVP'd, she also began plotting her strategy as she wanted us to take first place.
Several days later, after much thought, Jean told me she had decided on our costumes; we were going to go dressed as Frankenstein and his bride. The twist was she was going to be Frankenstein and I was going to be her bride. We lived an hour from a large city.
Jean got out the Yellow Pages and called all the costume stores inquiring if they had a Frankenstein mask and a bridal gown. One store did and she reserved them, arranging for us to pick up the costumes a week early. To our surprise the manager agreed to let us have the costumes a week early and not charge us extra.
We went to the store to check them out. The Frankenstein mask was perfect. The clerk explained to us how his boss had acquired the mask from an actual movie set. The mask had a moveable jaw, a nose with actual nostrils that you could breathe through, and perforated ears so you could actually hear. The wedding dress was a costume piece, nowhere near as nice as a real wedding dress, but it was more than suitable for me to wear.
Jean wanted to make sure it fit so she had me try it on before we left the store. I had never worn a dress and felt more than a little self conscious being seen wearing it in a public setting (even if it were just Jean and the clerk who were going to see me). I went into the changing room and stripped down to my underwear and put the wedding gown on. I'm small boned having narrow shoulders, slim hips, small hands and feet, and fine facial features. As I slipped the dress over my head, I had to admit I liked the material's texture against my skin.
I walked out of the dressing room and Jean said, "You're going to make a wonderful bride. I can already smell the money."
Jean had a brown wig in her hand. She handed it to me saying, "Put this on."
The wig was coarse and cheaply made. I put the wig on and looked in the mirror. The hair was long and came down past my shoulders.
I asked Jean how I looked and she said, "Very pretty, we just need to get you some hose, shoes, and maybe some long lace gloves."
She asked the clerk if there was a veil and headpiece to go with the gown. He looked around and handed her a box. She opened it, took both pieces out and put them on me. The veil completely obscured whatever masculine features my face had making me really fit the part.
Jean looked at me with a critical eye and said aloud, "We'll get you fake nails and a makeup job. My friend Sue has some jellies we can use for your breasts."
She looked closer at me lifting the veil and kissed me on the lips. "Hmmm, we may have to do something about your stubble as I want your face to be smooth. We'll also have to pluck your eyebrows; they are too thick."
She looked at the clerk who was staring at me and said, "We'll take it."
He looked at me and said, "Not meaning any disrespect, but your husband makes a pretty girl."
I felt myself blush.
Jean said, "Thank you. I wish I had his peaches and cream complexion and with his figure, he can wear anything and look good in it."
I started to go and change but Jean said, "Leave it on. I want you to get used to it."
I looked at her seeking clarification.
She said, "That's right, just walk out to the car. It's no big deal. You're not afraid of wearing a dress, are you?"
I stammered, "No, it's just a little strange."
The clerk observed us; his expression saying he didn't envy me. She told the clerk to include the wig. She paid the bill and we exited the store, Jean leading the way.
She held the car door open for me and helped me get in. She got in the driver's side and we drove off. I was looking around thinking everyone must be staring at me thinking what a freak.
Jean was quiet for a few minutes and asked, "How does it feel?"
I said, "Very strange."
She said, "You really look good; we're going to win, maybe both categories."
As we barreled down the interstate I became less self-conscious.
Jean reassured me saying, "They're not looking at you because they see a guy dressed as a girl. They're looking at you because they see a bride. You really pass as a girl quite easy."
I said, "Thanks, that's just what I wanted to hear."
We pulled into town and now I felt really self-conscious.
Jean said, "Don't worry I won't drive down Main Street."
We took a side road and entered our neighborhood. We pulled in the driveway and as luck would have it our immediate neighbor was out washing his car. An older man, his mouth agape, he couldn't think of anything to say as Jean helped me out of the car. I rather hurried into the house and he returned to soaping down his vehicle.
My luck had gone from bad to worse. All four kids were in the living room watching t.v., the oldest two looked at me as though I was the grossest thing they had ever encountered. I glared at them and whatever smart aleck comments they were going to utter, they kept to themselves.
The two youngest thought I was the coolest and scampered out of the house in the direction of their friend's house intent on telling them Dad is wearing a bridal gown and a wig. Jean caught them on the way out as I went into our bedroom.
She brought them back inside and told all 4 why I was dressed in a bridal gown. She explained about the costume party and how we were going to win. She said they had to keep it a secret and made them take an oath.
I was still in the gown looking at myself in the mirror when Jean joined me in the bedroom.
She closed the door behind her and gave me a hug whispering, "That wasn't so bad, was it?"
I told her, "It was worse than bad."
She said, "It will be all worth it when we take home the prize."
I had to admit she was right.
Jean looked at my reflection in the mirror and said, "You're quite attractive. Don't you feel sexy and a little bit kinky?"
I admitted to her it was kind of erotic and I actually liked the feel of the material against me and the freedom of not having pants on was liberating. I said the wig is uncomfortable. I still had the veil on. Jean lifted it and kissed me.
She whispered, "I'll get a better wig and I think I want you to go without a veil, but we're going to have to make your face baby bottom smooth."
